I'm a type A and just struggling with feeling like I'm not doing enough for LO on the feeding front. I just can't seem to make enough milk to satisfy her and it is driving me nuts that I'm failing at something that I feel like I shouldn't be. I know I'm doing the best I can and that supplementing with formula is necessary because she lost so much weight the first day. Just wondering how others felt their first week.
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Big hugs! I had a really hard time coming home and figuring out BF and so many things. It's hard to be confident that you're doing anything right when a week ago you weren't a mom and hadn't even met this little person. I remember every decision feeling so monumental and overwhelming. I don't know if I have any advice, but you are NOT the only new mom to feel this way. It gets easier day by day I had to supplement at first and it felt like such huge thing but now at 16 months it's just a teeny tiny part of our story. Baby H is so lucky to have such a caring mom who is worrying about all of these things! I hope things feel more manageable soon.
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I struggled with breastfeeding too but it was due to a poor latch. I was worried about my supply and infection so I pumped every couple of hours, which left me exhausted. For me the most challenging aspect was being soooo tired but feeling the need to tidy up, catch up on emails and phone calls, and dealing with the fact that my mom was doing everything in our home "her way". Becoming a mother has really helped me learn how to ask for help and trust other people to be able to contribute, even though it might not be the way I would have done it. Boy, I sound like a head case. Hang in there mama, motherhood is a big adjustment!
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It was horrible. I am also type A in every other aspect of my life, that's besides LO. My house has to be spotless, I had to be semi-cute, I had to eat right, I had to be the perfect mother. On got was exhausting. *as soon as* I let that mentality go, I became happier and more relaxed. You will quickly see how things can be 100% fine even when they are 100% NOT the way the want them. That's life with kids:)
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@MrsH: p.s: we're you overdue? My doctor told me sometimes the baby can have excess water retention so their birth weight is not always accurate. I honestly think that was the case with us a little bit too.
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I am a super type A freak. (In standards not personality). I really want to mellow out and I am working on it. Was a little stressed and nutty that first week. I am a perfectionist. I was pumping and bfing and running on pure adrenaline...
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I don't consider myself type A, but the 1st couple weeks are rough! It's so emotionally draining and your hormones are out if whack. It does get better with time.
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pre-LO i was a crazy type-a control freak about most everything. but getting pregnant and having a baby chilled me out, at least in the way she's concerned. it was a moment in time where i realized, "i have no control over any of this, so i'm going to let it go." i'm a christian so i gave it to God to take care of and i'm just doing the best i can.
not to say i didn't get frustrated, scared, emotional, etc, but that first week, i just concentrated on being present and worked on BFing! BUT i also realize that i had an easy time and my freak outs were actually later on after the adrenaline left and i was just left with, yeah, you're a mom, this is EVERY day now.
we each have our own journey, so allow yourself some grace mama. you're doing great! hugs!
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@CupQuakeWalk: yes, a week overdue and had to have a c-section.
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I was (and still am) type A when it comes to my everyday life, but with my LO I was able to live in the moment & not let it overtake me. I had to go with the flow, it was one of the greatest things she taught me! Sure I had my freakout moments, frantic calls to DH, my mom, friend, anyone who would listen, but for the most part, I let things go.
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I'm not type A (very, very laid back) but the first few weeks were ROUGH and very hard.
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@Mamasig: that sounds like me, the first month or so completely traumatised me and it's really only now at fifteen months pp I'm ready to even think about having a second child!
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HUGS!! I'm not type-A (very laid back/low key) but I know the feelings of not feeling like you're doing enough. But you have to realize that it is nothing you're doing that is affecting your milk production. Some women just have a harder time, unfortunately. It isn't fair, but please do not blame yourself!!
Also, my son had 10% weight loss too and though the on-call ped at the hospital was concerned, my midwife was not. She assured me it was normal and that we would keep a close watch on him. We did and after a few days he started gaining normally. It also took 3 days for milk to come in and an additional 7-10 days for milk production to stabilize.
Good luck! you are a good mama and doing the best you can.
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@Kemma: yes, traumatized is the perfect word! My son is 16 months old and I'm expecting #2. I'm fearful of that time, but I'm hoping it won't be as bad since I know what to expect.
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i had a complete hormonal type-a-losing-control breakdown on day 4 at home because i didn't feel like my milk was coming in as strongly as it should. i swear people across the street were probably about to call the police because of all the wailing. i haven't cried that hard in lord knows how long.
i saw a lactation consultant and began a plan that was great for my type a personality. after each nursing session, i supplemented with a bottle of formula (or pumped milk), and i pumped. i won't like this was a major pain in the ass because i was nursing at least 10 times a day, which meant that i was pumping almost 10 times a day. but it certainly got my supply going and i built up a freezer stash.
it is hard. i was so stressed. all i could do was think about breastfeeding. that is, until all i could think about was his sleeping.
anyway, point being, many of us have been there, and we send you lots of hugs.
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every day gets easier! the first week was hard, because I couldn't get up and down on my own with the baby, and we had SO many visitors around the clock. plus i had the exact opposite problem as you - i had massive engorgement and overproduction, so i did not sleep a minute for the first 2 nights home because i was in excruciating pain. i was so overtired i couldn't even see straight.
then i slept an hour one night. then 2. and all of the sudden everything got easier. and i looked at myself in the mirror one morning and almost recognized myself. it just took a little time, and after the first week or so, i felt almost like my old self again. it was also the holidays, so that didn't help anything!
hang in there, it will get so much easier, I promise!
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