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Ugh yeah I have an almost 8yo and it would bother me, but I agree with pp that it’s awesome she came to you. Maybe the #1 thing to encourage that secrets aren’t a good idea (since she’s old enough to understand secrets vs surprises). Probably it’s all harmless but that way you’ll hopefully be clued in. I think what you said sounded great.

I would 100% be weirded out like you! But I think this is an awesome opportunity to have a lot of discussions with her about how she feels, how others make her feel, etc. Like wow that’s so awesome that you and this boy like each other! But remember that in relationships, both people get to have a say. Wouldn’t it be silly if you were given a choice between chocolate and vanilla ice cream and you really wanted chocolate but someone else said nope you have to have vanilla because that’s what I like? Maybe frame it in easier context if you can.

Unfortunately, I was just talking to my colleague who’s 9 yo son was told about porn on the playground a few weeks ago and ended up finding some videos another kid told him about so I think this is the age where conversations about consent, relationships, etc need to happen. It still seems so young to me but I would really keep having the discussions with her and maintain open communication as best you can.

I would not be comfortable with any of this. I think 8 is too young. I would even call the school and ask for the two kids to be watched closely. And I would be looking into who this boy is. Oh no. I'm going to become a helicopter parent! ETA: talking about discussing sex with 8 year olds is exactly why I'm considering private school for my kids.

@KNS: I know that kids everywhere can know and talk about all kinds of things. But I really want to avoid it being taught and encouraged by the school. I live in California in a really good school district. But California is increasingly more liberal regarding what is being taught at schools. I see a lot of books that are allegedly being shown to very young grades with things are absolutely disturbing to me. The school district won't confirm or deny the books, and they also won't tell which day that the subject will be taught to the kids. Also, you cannot pull your kids out of school that day. Now, I would absolutely still pull my kids out of school that day. But just in general, I don't like how all of this feels to me. A small private religious school is something I'm much more comfortable with. That is where my oldest is at preschool and my niece is in grade school. So we are considering keeping her there at least through 6th grade if we can handle the expense of it. We are also willing to sacrifice quite a bit to make it happen. But this is a tough decision still for us and I'm about one or two years away from having to make it. I'm going to be working harder to find out more as the time comes closer. What are your thoughts on all of it?

@agold: I'm not sure about what books and things your district is using but I'm guessing what's happening is that schools are responding to the fact that kids are learning about these topics earlier in life in general and pretending otherwise is only likely to set them up for problems. Studies have repeatedly found that the more restrictive the environment, the more likely kids are to experiment with things they're being sheltered from. Moving away from abstinence-based sex-ed has actually helped teen sexual activity and pregnancy rates decline over the past few years. And schools are doing more about talking to kids about sexuality and accepting differences, which I think is a positive so where I stand, I'd rather kids know more than less if they're initiating these conversations. Restriction generally tends to lead to the opposite outcome.

@Mrs. Carrot: @Becky: I love hearing both of your opinions despite totally different than my own. And yep to restrictive environments. Good thing I don't have a plan to maintain a restrictive environment. But I don't want a teacher at school talking to my very young girls about masterbation, anal sex, oral sex, dry humping and showing them all kinds of pictures so make sure that these little kids understand. Kudos to you parents who think your young kids are mentally equipped to handle it. I have all sorts of plans to talk to my kids about things as the topics arise and the time becomes right for me and my kids and the situations they get in.

@Becky: And yep. So true those Catholic school boys! I married one! Also, the private high school is the place where all the kids who got kicked out of public high school went. I know there is no full shelter that can be provided. But I do love the idea of a small private school for grades k-6 for all kinds of other reasons, too, like safety and issues that pertain to my specific community. The way my little niece is growing up with this private school is so appealing to me. I hope my girls love it!

@agold: wait what!?! Who has that in their curriculum? Mom of a public school kindergartener now, now freaked out!