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@babycanuck: I'm so sorry. Can you try and have a conversation why he is against treatment?

I'm curious what tests you've had done.

I have noticed that your husband has put up a lot of road blocks on your journey, do you think he's just not ready to admit there is a problem?

Does your RE have a therapist on staff? Some do, if not could you find someone that specializes in IF issues and try to meet with them, maybe they could get to the root of the issue.

Okay, i'm probably going to be alone in saying this and hopefully it doesn't offend anyone, but yes, my husband was against iui and ivf. Essentially i was not on board with them either but i would have considered trying if he wanted to. His reasoning was that he didn't like the clinical aspect of the whole thing, the sperm donation, the injection, etc. he also was not a fan of the injectables for me and the side effects they may have had. He was already watching me struggle with pcos for the year and it made him uncomfortable to watch me "go through" anymore.

So yes, i think i could say that my husband was against the treatments, although us bypassing them was a joint decision.

The only thing my husband is against is ICSI cause he doesn't want a person deciding which sperm makes it. He's ok with IVF since nature is still in play and the strongest still wins, albeit in a lab rather than in me. Though we're not there yet and haven't seriously discussed what it involves and the cost. He did resist IUI for a little, but only because he was embarrassed about having to give a sample.

@hotchildinthecity: I don't think anything you said was offensive.

@babycanuck: I'm so sorry you are having to deal with an uncooperative husband. Maybe try to figure out his specific reasonings. If he fears something, its possible you can explain it all to him.

So my husband has been against various fertility related things. One issue I was able to explain to him that his worries and fears were unfounded and got him to ultimately agree. As for IUI, IVF and adoption, we oddly talked about it in depth before we were married. My husband won't consider adopting and I would. We are both on the fence about IVF and IUI. Its tough to work through those things. I hope you and your husband can figure it out.

@babycanuck: He was against treatment for religious reasons. I felt the same about IVF, but was up in the air about IUI. We came to a compromise; we were going to try on our own for another 6 months, then look at monitored cycles with Clomid. (Thankfully, we didn't get that far.) Hope you figure out a solution that works for you.

I have no experience personally at this point but i remember listening to a podcast where they said in most cases of unexplained infertility it's not that there is nothing causing it so much as it is that technology hasn't found a way to test for or treat what might be going on. There can also be many variables. Perhaps you can explain to him that even if it can't be explained that doesn't mean help isn't important. Perhaps he is just feeling freaked out and he will come around. I hope so.

@looch: exactly! That's what i meant about me being worried about being offensive ;). It's 100 percent not for us, but i would support anyone else completely. I agree with bluestripedbee as well that it's tougher on men than you would think. I thought of the sperm donation/testing as just a medical appt but my husband was mortified about it. And he's a pretty easygoing guy. And i think a lot of men are uncomfortable watching their wives go through medical procedures and pain, discomfort, etc.

@babycanuck: Well to me it's still worth doing - you get the benefit of perfect timing and of knowing that you have at least one healthy follicle. Lots of girls regularly ovulate but the eggs aren't super high quality. And in those cases clomid/femara helps. Without having a full monitored cycle your doctor doesn't know a lot about what might be happening. And like I said, your dr was recommending IUI which only increases your odds a tiny bit, especially since your husband's counts came back fine. And then you have tho whole needing a sample from him and the procedure I order to get pregnant. I did meds + TI and much prefer that route over IUI if it's possible.

Disclaimer - I do have trouble ovulating, so that worked for me. But unless you go straight to ivf it's probably your best option to begin with.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry your husband isn't on board. I'm lucky in that my husband was willing to do anything it took to get me pregnant so I didn't have to deal with that. I can say since I've done IUI's, that they are not nearly as involved as IVF is and are pretty simple. But for unexplained, they usually aren't the best option. Usually they are best for male-factor issues. But as a few other posters said Femara or Clomid can help (even if you ovulate regularly give us an extra chance or two. I hope you get pregnant in the next few months so you don't have to even deal with anything else, but if not I hope he comes around so that you are both on the same page. Crossing my fingers for you!!