If you took the minimum allowed maternity leave off, at what “month age” would you WISH you could have returned to work? I’m trying to figure out how much time I’d like to request off in addition to the 12 weeks. Obviously I wish it could be a year, but since most places allow up to 12 weeks I want to base it off of this model. I’m sure they can work with me for additional time (unpaid), but when is “best” as far as breastfeeding/pumping needs? Do they require less feedings at 4 months, or 6 months, etc? I do remember learning that if you’re going to leave your child in daycare, it’s best to do it either before or after they are 6 months, where there is more separation anxiety. My mom will be helping so I’m not too worried about that aspect. More so the feeding/pumping needs.
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i went back after the 12 weeks. i wish it could have been 6 months.
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@sarbear: would pumping needs have been easier at 6 months? (less pumping needed at work?) I'm trying to "build a case"
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I went back after 12 weeks, I think I would have wanted to stay home until 6 months.
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i went back after 12 weeks and i wish it could've been at six months.
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Still preggo, but like previous posters, I think 6 months would be good to help get the baby more into routine and s/he isn't so small! 12 weeks is too tiny to be in daycare (IMO), even though I will have to do that with DS because we don't live near family.
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I think 5-6 months is the point at which I wish I could have gone back. Those first few months back were SO hard because LO was still so needy at night but I had so little time to do everything I needed to around the house. From a pumping/nursing perspective, there was no change - I pumped 3x a day from when I returned to work at 12 weeks until she was 9 months old and only the was able to drop to 2 pumping sessions a day.
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I have to go back at 6 weeks because it's 100% unpaid time off (We don't get vacation or sick days)
If I had a choice i'd go back at ~6 months. I hate the thought of putting a 6 week old in daycare. Gah.
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I'll be going back to work when LO is 5 months, and I realllly wish it could have been 6 months even. I don't know that pumping will be any easier at 6 months, but I feel better about LO being a bit older before starting day care.
I really think 6 moths should be the standard maternity leave in the US. Hilary Clinton for prez next??
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I wouldn't have been ready at 6 months either, though. That first year is so full of ups and downs and unknowns!
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I would have loved more time at home with LO, but she was absolutely fine going to daycare at 3 months. Now that she's a little older (5 months) she is just starting to notice when I leave her....so I'm assuming starting daycare at 6 months would have been a lot more difficult emotionally on both of us. When she was younger, she had no idea what was really going on, so it was easier on both of us.
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I get 4 months off. LO is not here yet obviously but I think that is a good amount of time. Still, if I had my perfect world, it would be until they are 1 year old! I feel like at that point, they are more active/independent and can get more out of the social setting of a daycare.
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I went back at 3 months and it was okay, but 6 would have been better.
If I'd argued for 6, I probably would have cited the following:
-Babies don't develop their own immune system until 6 months
-They are more likely to be able to sleep through the night by 6 months
-6 months would give you more time to build up a larger freezer stash. It's hard (at least for many) to pump the full amount their LO needs during the day -
I only got 6 weeks and took 1 week vacation time. I would have been ecstatic with 12 weeks! 2 months was my minimum and thank god my mom agreed to stayed till then. I would have been a wreck if I had to put M into daycare at 7 weeks.
And no, pumping isn't really any easier or harder later on. It all depends.
Knowing what I know now I would say 4 months is a good time.
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I took 16 weeks off, so a little more than the usual 12. I wish I could have taken 6 months off, but my work has allowed me to work half days, so I can't complain too much. Definitely those extra 4 weeks were awesome and it was a little easier at that point compared to going back at 12 weeks. There isn't going to be a difference with pumping/feeding comparing 12 weeks to 6 months. 6 months they are just barely starting solids, so milk intake isn't going to decrease. But if you do take 6 months off at least if BFing goes well, you know you'll be able to EBF until 6 months.
ETA: Oh yes, as a previous poster stated, more time to build a freezer stash! I would also consider asking to start back part time if they are not willing to let you have 6 months off.
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Thanks everyone!!! This is really helpful. When I meet with the bosses, I'm going to push for 6 months, and cite the very good reasons listed:
- benefits of ability to EBF those first crucial months,
-freezer stash build-up,
-immunity build-up, and
-likelihood sleeping-through-the-nightFeel free to add to this list!
I'm not sure when I'm meeting with them - Due date is in July but I should get on this soon.
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@MrsLilybugg: I think you're coming at this from the wrong perspective (at least initially) . . . you should look at how delaying your return to work would benefit the company as well as how it benefits you and your LO. I would probably start with the fact that at 12 weeks, you aren't going to be as mentally focused and prepared to return to work, and that it will likely negatively impact your performance and productivity . . . it translates into fairness toward the company, i.e., paying an employee full time wages when she is only performing at a part time level.
I hope that makes sense . . .
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@MsLipGloss: You wrote what I was going to write in a much more eloquent manner. I think the message has to be centered around what the company gains.
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I am with @regberadaisy: I only got 7 weeks and would LOVED to have had 12. I guess with going at 7 weeks 12 would havr seemed great and enough. She at 11 weeks now is doing so good at daycare. I love her center.
But I imagine if I had 12 weeks I would prob want even more.I think 6 mos would be ideal. Starting on more foods then and what not. Prob less pumping. I HATE pumping at work!
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@MsLipGloss: i totally agree. unfortunately, i don't think most companies would care about your freezer stash, etc. tell them how it's going to benefit THEM. that's all they care about.
i am back part time at 14 weeks and i probably could have pushed it further, but we need some income bc DH is in school. i can't really comment, but i want to be a WAHM and quit my day job, but i would say that 4 months would have been my ideal. it's definitely different getting back into the swing of things after so much time off though!
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@MsLipGloss: I totally agree. I think the reasons I cited are valid, but the OP would probably need to frame them in a way that explains how delaying the return to work would be mutually beneficial. It depends a lot in the job and the employer.
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I too agree with @MsLipGloss. Breastfeeding didn't work out so well for us and I ended up weaning at 7 weeks, but that didn't mean I would have been okay going back to work just because he was formula fed! I took off 6 months and it was great - I went back to work refreshed, working 5 days a week (some of my colleagues work 4 days), ready to jump in, and appreciative/loyal(ish) to the company. Honestly I wonder whether you really need to make much of a case vs. just saying you'd like to take 6 months and you understand it won't all be paid and just seeing what they say.
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I had to go back at 8 weeks and it sucked so bad. I would recommend 12 at the earliest to help get a routine. Anything later than 4 months wouldn't have been bad.
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@MsLipGloss: Love your comment!
I was just thinking the same thing. Employers don't care about your specific parenting goals.
I agree that you need to frame your argument with how it benefits the employer that you take some additional time off.
I took 5 months off and I thought it was a fair amount of time, though I would have loved a year. I think at 5 months, I was physically and mentally ready to work.
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We have to use saved sick time and are allowed to use 6 weeks paid, 6 weeks unpaid. I'm going to try and swing 8 weeks since that'll take me to Christmas break and I have the time. If not, I hope family will help out so LO doesn't need day care until 10 weeks.
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I took 4 months off, it was much better than 3 months would have been for me. I still didn't feel like I had my $hit together until the 6 month point, but I wanted to start getting back to where normal life would be. I work a lot of freelance projects though, so sometimes it's feast or famine!
I'm amazed that I have been back at work for a year now, it sure has flown by!
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@lemondrop: I totally agree! I went back full time after just 12 weeks, and I didn't really feel like I had a handle on anything until *at least* 5ish months . . . Even now (at 7.5 months pp), I still struggle with balancing my work load and my LO. As of last week, I just cut my hours back to part time(ish) on a short-term (3 months - my LO is having surgery next month) basis. It has been a much harder transition than I ever could have imagined!
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I think you start to feel normal physically and start to really get the hang of things around 12 weeks. I'd like at least a month after, so 4 months.
But I'm going back after 6 1/2 because of our situation so I'm only going to have to pump once at work which will be amazing. If lo ate more I'd probably still be at 4 pumps which would be 2x at work.
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I went back at 5.5 months and I think that was good - or 6 would have been really perfect. I was nowhere near ready at 3 months, was more ready at 4 months, and was ready at 5 months.
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I think I would have felt a lot less....bitter? about returning if I had a good 6 months. I returned at 11 wks PP. Sucked!
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@MsLipGloss: Even after a year back, there are definitely times I still feel like I'm losing control of everything, and I only work part time (hours vary from week to week). I have no idea how full timers find balance, they are my heroes!
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like @regberadaisy and @Rescuemom10 I went back at 7 weeks. Breastfeeding, pumping & supply specifically, was a challenge. I would've liked at least 12 weeks.
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@MsLipGloss: Great point!!!
I like working here (and have been with them forever!) and they have been so good about addressing concerns/requests I've made in the past, but I really should build a case as to why it's MUTUALLY beneficial for me to go back at 6 months. I should say that delaying my return to work would benefit the company as well as my LO. I like your suggestion that I'll add to my list:
-I won't be as mentally focused and prepared to return to work, and that it will likely negatively impact my performance and productivity.
-benefits of ability to EBF those first crucial months,
-freezer stash build-up (less need to pump at work and tie up conference room??? I share an office)
-immunity build-up,
-likelihood sleeping-through-the-night (ties in to my productivity as well) -
Consensus seems like 4-6 months though so I'll TRY for 6 and bargain from there. so nervewracking
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I think you have to know your audience as well...is anyone in the group a working mom? Chances are, if they were and they came back to work after the regular alloted time, they might not be so open to you coming back later.
I think you need to talk about what kind of specialized skills you have, and how you will help train a replacement. If you came to me and talked to me about your freezer stash, I'd probably not approve your request. It's a little too touchy feely and not business driven.
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@looch: there's been several moms who have come back part-time after maternity leave, and I actually have already discussed with them that this is what I'll do (they've OK'ed this). One left the office, and was rehired after the child was older. I wouldn't do that though, too risky!
They've already discussed hiring a temp for while I'm on leave.
I was thinking the stash thing could help in that I can say this will require less time pumping at work and using up a conference room. But I'm not sure if this is true since it's my first child!
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Are you looking for paid maternity leave of 6 months? Because unless you have an incredibly crazy amazing benefits, no company is going to go for that. Or do you have vacation saved and are willing to go unpaid to get you to 6 months? I took off 3 months (used maternity and leave) and then worked from home for 1 month, so we waited till LO was 4 months to put him in daycare.
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@littlek: Oh gosh in my wildest DREAMS!! I get paid 5 weeks, and can use vacation time, and the additional months after the paid leave/vaca would be unpaid
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@MrsLilybugg: awww okay.. because I was about to say, let me know how that goes.. I'd love 6 months paid maternity leave
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@looch: I agree. I would add other items more business-oriented to the list . . . such as fewer missed work days (there are quite a few doctor appointments (for shots!) in the early months), etc.
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