Hellobee Boards

I parent as an introvert too. It’s hard! I would agree that there was probably no intentional exclusion, you do have to kind of be present to hear about everything, and for me I’m just not going to be. I try to avoid social media if it’s making me feel bad.
This year I feel much more included because we got lucky and had a bunch of nice girls in my oldest’s class, they made a good group. And then I got closer with one mom who has kids similar ages to mine AND is a good social planner. Seek out those moms who seem to be planning lots of things and know everyone! You don’t need to be good friends with everyone for that to help you be more plugged in. Easier said than done I know, but if you really make an effort with a few people who are well connected it helps a lot.
I struggle with this all the time - especially that idea about messing up your kid’s social life because you are introverted - so I don’t have it figured out but you’re not alone!

@irene: Hugs! We just wrapped up K and I certainly haven't broken into the social circle. At best I have a handful of other "outsider" parents that I chat with at parties. I am lucky that my neighbor with a daughter in the other K class keeps me in the loop on what she finds out from her tight-knit pickup hang out group.

I'd bet those parents didn't intend to exclude. Summer scheduling is hard. My DD is going to know exactly 0 people at most of her camps. Everyone has different pick up and drop off needs. Coordinating seemed impossible so I didn't even try.

You are entitled to hurt and vent but when you're ready to pick yourself up use your new connections to invite the other boys (and moms) to play. You could probably figure out pretty quickly if social media will bring you closer or just drive you nuts. Of course that's all easier said than done.

No advice, I’m just here to say SAME. My dd just finished kindergarten and I have zero parent friends from her class. I even connected with one mom, hung out twice, and then she kind of ghosted me! I’ve actually felt legitimately sad a few days at drop off/pick up because I feel left out... I feel so silly and tell my DH that I feel like I’m in hisghschool again sometimes and I’m not in the “in” crowd. I’m hoping for better luck next year

I also acknowledge that it’s partly my fault because I do tend to keep to myself and I’m not active in volunteering.

Also, I think it’s totally unfair for your DH to blame you or make you feel guilty for this!

I think summer camps are an interesting dynamic. Like someone mentioned above, everyone’s drop off and pick up needs are different along with budget as well as what the child’s needs are. Plus theirs personal family vacation time too. So it’s not super easy to coordinate everyone’s schedule to be at the same camp.
I know as an introvert it’s hard, but sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and ask. My DD finished k and I noticed towards end of the year, at any event (class party, moms day, field day, etc), the starting point for conversation would be “what camps are you doing this year?” And then one mom would chime in about this camp and others would about another camp and then I’ll look into it and see if it falls within our family’s budget and timing and sign her up or not.

Don't know if this helps but I'm the mom that didn't invite friends. Here's what/why:
- 4 moms, 4 three year olds all decently friends.
Interaction level:
- Moms hang out 2x a month
- 3 of the families hang out weekly
- Group chat
- Playdates maybe every 4-6 weeks
- All live within 10 min, mostly 5 min

One friend, T, invited us all to a weeklong camp via group chat. E didn't respond, but me & C did. Cool, week 1 of camp done.
A couple weeks later, T invited us to another week of a diff camp, no response from C or E. I signed up.

A couple weeks later, I find 2 camps that fit in the pther 2 weeks of June. I only invited T. Here's why:
- Didn't think C or E would be interested bc of their lack of interest earlier
- The drive was inconvenient
- E has to share the car with her husband
- E is really tight with her kids and doesn't do any childcare (she homeschools, has the kids stay with her in church, etc).
- C doesn't really schedule things for her kids it seems
- C has a bunch of vacations planned for June.
- For one camp, it was last-minute the week before (still accepting reservations)

So, anyway. Maybe some or all of these reasons apply here.

How do you feel about initiating play dates at third party locations or your house, either as a group text or in person? That's what I and my friend T do, and it helps build friendships! I will warn you, after 5-6 no-replies or "sorry, we're busy"s, we sometimes give up with certain people.

I am an introvert too, and I totally feel you on all of this. I do not think it's intentional; as busy as we all are, sometimes if you're not at the conversation in that moment, or you're not one of the regulars, it's almost inevitably to get left out. It's not one's fault, but it sure does suck

I have no good advice since my oldest is only entering K (so I'm totally going into your territory now), but don't worry!! He does and will have friends and as long as he gets to do things with his friends, it's gonna be okay!

For one, I'm not sending my DD to our town's most popular summer camp b/c their program just doesn't work well for working parents. I WISH I can send her so she can hang out with her school friends and form deeper friendships, but it just doesn't work out right now.