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For me, I WAH, but my kids are in daycare full time so I don't have to really balance anything until daycare pick-up. Daycare closes relatively early here though, so my day ends right before 4 when I have to go pick them up. On slower days I do any housework/chores/grocery shopping that needs to be done before I pick them up so that we can spend more fun/quality time together.

It's hard! I don't know that I'll ever feel balanced and it took me a while to come to terms with that. I'm currently on mat leave for #2, but normally WAH 30-40 hrs/week. My mom watches DD at our house and I've found that really trying to act like I'm not home (except for lunch time when I go out and chat and eat with my mom and DD) works well. Sounds like the day-weaning you're working in will be really helpful for you, since it frees you up a bit! My DD would never take a bottle and in the first six months I always felt frustrated to be torn from work so often.

When the kids were being watched at home by my MIL (DD until she was 20 months; DS until he was 16 months), I definitely felt the same way. I felt so guilty because the kids would know I'm home and come knocking on my door or call out to mama, and I felt bad that I couldn't be with them. And mentally, I was distracted because I was just not 100% focused on work, and was thinking about them and dealing with feelings of guilt on both ends (guilt for not being a great employee, guilt for not being there for them when I was pretty much right there behind a door!).

First, it got better when I weaned (before I would nurse even while on calls, or in between meetings). Then it got better once the kids went to daycare, so I could just focus on work even while at home!