Hellobee Boards

Not just for moms -- the way I see it, part of the problem is that it's considered acceptable for men to not be on these field trips, to miss school plays, to not volunteer. They still call them "class moms," not "class dads" or "class parents." So when a woman needs to duck out of work so that somebody can be there for her kid, she's seen as taking things less seriously than her male counterpart. And then there's that argument that just won't die -- "You want to be treated the same as men, but you don't. Make up your mind." Our own needs and our fundamental rights as humans are being used against us when convenient.

I'm not saying that men who can't attend school functions are bad people. But it was the norm for so long, that it's going to take something huge to change that mindset of "dad duties" and "mom duties." To be honest... I don't know what the solution is. I just don't think that, when it comes to careers, we live in a parenting-friendly society in general.

@ladyfingers, yes, exactly.

Flexible work arrangements for parents in general makes a huge difference. My coworker frequently comes in late so he can go his daughters' preschool and do breakfast with them or leaves early to do lunches or take them on field trips or special things. It's acceptable to say "no" to work commitments sometimes! Of course, some days are better than others, but that's just like any situation.

Why is it that working moms get all the guilt, despite 75% of us maintaining our careers? Working dads get a fraction of it.

But it also takes people to catalyze these movements within companies. For many women, I'm sure it's too easy to just quit and not come back from maternity leave instead of trying to lobby for change. Why would management change if there is no push for it? When the woman who simply quits can simply be replaced? There has to be a push for these changes.

Ha! This feels like the story of my life. I went back to work when my baby was 7 months old, and my husband stayed home until this week, when baby turned 1. I was promoted to management and given a ton more responsibility about 2 months after I went back. I work at a small company, and the "higher ups" are very supportive of my "work/life" balance, but with the exception of one other guy, everyone at the office is at least 10 years older than me, either childless or mostly with kids my age! It's hard to be the only one rushing out at 4:45 to get to daycare pickup on time. I wish there were more "middle class" role models like they mentioned in the article.

Anyone else out there?