I guess I just want to know if my thoughts are normal or if they are severe anxiety seeping through my medication. I’m considering seeking a therapist.
I find it hard to enjoy my two girls sometimes because I worry that having them is too good to be true. I constantly worry that I’ll lose them. That one of them will die. It hurts to even write that. But I think about it every day. I’m haunted by it. The thought of losing them absolutely kills me. I know I could not go on living if anything were to happen to them.
I love them with literally all of my being. They’re what I’ve waited for and wanted my entire life. I had them at 36 and 39 (they’re almost 4 and 9 months). Of course there are difficult times, but I usually just bask in the glow of them. But sometimes at night, I think back on the day or look at pictures and start to worry and fear and panic about losing either of them.
Does anyone else think this way or have these worries? I know everyone worries about their kids, but is this normal?
I can’t talk to anyone about this in real life. So, thank you for “listening.”