My almost 7 year old is very easily distract-able when doing day to day things like getting dressed, brushing teeth, showering, etc. Ironically she focuses pretty well on tasks like schoolwork and computer games, but otherwise she's perpetually in the clouds. Which results in a lot of me telling her to hurry up, which I hate, and her getting frustrated, understandably. Does anyone have tips, resources, etc, anything that's helped getting your kiddos to focus on things like this? I'm not asking for perfection by any means, but I'd like to empower her a little more in ways that aren't just me reminding her of things over and over. Thanks!
You might also enjoy...
-
I find that the combination of a timer and sticker chart works pretty well with both my 4 and 7 year olds. I set a timer for a reasonable amount of time (say 5 minutes to get out the door, including going to the bathroom and putting shoes on) and then they know they get a sticker if they do it. I felt like I was spending my life repeating the task at hand ("put your shoes on, put your shoes on, put your shoes on") and the timer/sticker chart has reduced that feeling a lot.
-
For brushing teeth what about chompers podcast? Would keep her entertained and on task. I’ve seen other people on here recommend a playlist or songs for tasks
-
Does she have trouble moving from one task to the next in daily routines? My five and a half year old has responded well to some checklists we posted in key “routine” spots - like a bathroom checklist for getting ready in the morning, an out-the-door list of stuff she needs (haha, needed...not quite the same now!) before leaving the house, and a bedtime checklist in her room. She helped me make the lists, but we kept them pretty short and to the point and we update them periodically. For a while we had a clothespin she moved from one item on the list to the next to mark her progress, but at this point I don’t think she uses that as regularly.
That sort of thing doesn’t help with her focus while she’s in the middle of one particular thing on her list, but it does help her keep the pace and flow in mind and I can say something short like, “check your list!” instead of rattling off all five things she needs to do.
-
@caitcat: her challenge is really focusing on the task. She knows what to do and generally in what order, but once the task has started she floats off into her imagination so brushing teeth takes 15 minutes, getting dressed can take 20 minutes, etc. If I'm not constantly jarring her with reminders, it would take her hours to actually get ready for the day or take a shower.
-
She sounds like my niece. My niece has ADD and is medicated. My SIL said its really helped.
-
@Mrs. Carrot: we can relate to that, too! But I haven’t found anything that really helps on that front yet...we’ve tried timers, songs (like “finish by the end of this song!” kinds of strategies), but nothing has made a lasting difference yet. The best luck I have is if I can do some sort of parallel activity beside her - like pick the next day’s outfit at the same time, pack our bags at the same time, brush teeth together. But that obviously only works for so much, and still feels very parent-driven. I’ll follow along here for ideas! It will not surprise me in the least if my daughter is diagnosed with ADD at some point, but at 5.5 we’re still in a wait and see stage.
-
Unless I am missing context, this seems age appopriate. I ask my 6.5 yo to get dressed, brush teeth, etc.... many, many, many times before it actually gets accomplished. Obviously difficult to do now, but I think natural consequences are the best solution - it only takes missing one activity because they couldn't get out of the door for it to sink it. Now that we have no place to go, I often just walk away in the morning if I have tried to move her along a few times and she's not listening. Then she has to get ready by herself or misses out on fun hair, both of which she hates, so she usually speeds back up. I also don't think kids that age have a great sense of time, so I try to be understanding that "hurry up" oftens has zero meaning to them.
-
A timer sounds like it would work! Or if that would cause push-back, maybe a song for certain tasks? My boys usually have two songs to get out the door. The first is brush teeth/get dressed if necessary, and second is shoes on and stuff gathered. Right now, the first song is clean up and the second is teeth/dressed before we start school work. I never have to ask them to hurry up in the mornings (even if they occasionally forget a task).
-
@Madison43: That's totally fair. I'm a bit fixated on independence teaching right now because she's an only child and DH and I have taken the easy route of doing things for her a lot and I'm nervous that I'm going to put her behind the curve. She does know what to do, but gets lost in her own brain and then gets frustrated when I remind her that we'll be late for X. For example, we have a nightly call with her grandmother at 8:45. On Sundays when she has to put her laundry away, we start around 7:45-8 to give her plenty of time, and she often gets distracted and starts playing with the laundry rather than folding it so I'll remind her a few times that if she doesn't finish by 8:30 we won't be on time to call her grandmother. Sometimes that motivates her, other times she starts complaining that she's too slow and can't do anything right and then it falls apart and I hate that she feels that way so I've been trying to support her but I'm also trying to let go to some extent too. Though that might not be reasonable at this age, which is totally fair.
-
@caitcat: I wouldn't be surprised on the ADD front either but her teacher and everyone she interacts with says that at least for now she doesn't have this issue when she's at school or at activities, so it doesn't affect her functioning enough for it to be a concern. Mostly my own impatience lol
-
@Mrs. Toad: We've been told repeatedly by her teachers that she doesn't exhibit the symptoms, it's only at home tasks that she's easily distracted.
-
@Jess1483: I think a timer is worth a try. She's definitely responsive to external reminders, I'm just trying to not be that external reminder all the time lol
-
@Mrs. Carrot: I hear you about worrying. One of my friends recently mentioned that her son (my daughters age) showers independently at night and I was slack jawed. I feel like we are super far from that for a lot of reasons. I was wondering if things may improve when she knows how to read a clock. Like would she then better understand we we need to focus on the task at hand if we need to leave at 10 and it’s 9;30? I don’t know.
-
@Mrs. Carrot: My daughter responds really well to a visual timer like this one. I think there are apps that do the same thing, but at the moment we have the real one that I brought home from my classroom.
-
I use music a lot! "You need to be done getting dressed by the end of this song," and stuff like that. Additionally, Sarah Ward is the CHAMP of things like this- look up her videos about executive functioning, especially when kids picture what done looks like as well as her "Get Ready, Do, Done" charts. Seriously life changing- totally changed the way my classroom functions and I'm able to use a lot of it at home with my highly distractable 7 year olds.
-
@meganmp: Thanks, I'll definitely check that out!
-
Ugh this is/was my son. He is 8 and was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. He can focus when he wants, but "boring" stuff is always a struggle. We tried all sorts of checklists and reward systems but meds + strong routine is what helps most.
-
We use sand timers, noisy timers, visual schedules, and also a "say it until it's done" strategy which is exactly what it sounds like. For example, my son will whisper over and over to himself "put your shoes in the basket put your shoes in the basket put your shoes in the basket" until he has done that.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
18 comments