Hellobee Boards

We're going through this too! Have you tried making reasons why you have to leave for a minute and then coming right back? I'll say something like, "I just have to change into pajama pants. I'll be right back." And then I really do come right back. I try to lengthen the time I'm gone each time, but I do stay for awhile when I go back.

Following along because I have a soon-to-be 4 year old in this very same predicament! I tried the "leaving for a minute" thing tonight and he instantly freaked out!

We offered a series of rewards for falling asleep by himself when DS was 4. They ranged from a happy meal for lunch the next day to a big Lego set he had been lusting for (this was bought and lived on top of our cabinets for the 30 nights that he had to complete to earn it)

I was unable to make any headway on this until my son was well past 6 years old, I think it's been something like 2 months now where he can fall asleep on his own (which I know sounds insane because he did sleep on his own from birth to 2 years old). I tried and tried, bribes don't work and he literally just kept getting out of bed so I gave up...I am not okay with gating or locking in the room so that option was off the table.

We just explained to him that we couldn't lay with him every night anymore. He was mad and cried the first few nights but it was actually fine. He got out of his bed a few times and we just brought him back. He's a rule follower though. He slept on his own from birth to 3 but then when he had a big bed it just sort of happened that dad sometimes fell asleep with him so it became a habit.

Our 4 year olds fall asleep on their own, but we are still working on our 2 1/2 year old. What we have had *some* success with is progressively weaning ourselves out of the room. I say some, because we have phases like right now, where he fusses if we leave. I started by patting his back but standing up next to him. Then I moved to sitting in a chair part way across the room. Then to sitting all the way across the room. If he started asking for me, I would just tell him I'd stay in the room while he went to sleep, but only if he closed his eyes and laid still. And if he did fuss about it, I would leave. After he cried for a few minutes, I would go back in, give him a hug and ask is he wanted me to sit in his room while he went to sleep, and then return to where ever I had been before I left). After that, I started waiting until he was really close to falling asleep and I would say I need to go check on his brothers, potty, etc., but that I would be right back. He usually went ahead and fell asleep by the time I came back in 5 minutes or so, but if not, I just sat in my spot until he actually did fall asleep.

Most of the time now, I still sit in his room while he gets sleepy, but it's nice to know I can leave if I need to. I still will tell him I'll be back to check on him in just a minute, but if he starts fussing after that, we let him cry for a few minutes since it's more about his personality (very determined to get his way) and not that he can't/doesn't know how to go to sleep on his own now.

@travellingbee: I thought we would never conquer this one but we did! This is what worked for us around 3 years and a few months old:
-I had been sitting next to her bed rubbing her back every night until she fell asleep.
-we slowly introduced the idea of "big girl time" to practice falling asleep by yourself.
-first we would just leave her very briefly by herself and then go back in and praise her for resting calmly in her bed
-then we would stretch the time out little by little (this is like the "excuses" above but felt less sneaky to me)
-I would only go back in if she was calm
-once she was able to fall asleep some of the time, we did a reward chart to seal the deal
-she was really motivated by frozen (the movie) and nail polish so we made a chart with frozen characters. These were "big girl" things in her head so this connected.
-every night she fell asleep by herself she earned a sticker. 4 stickers earned a nail polish. The nights did not have to be consecutive. 16 stickers earned the movie.

She is now 5 and falls asleep every night by herself.
It was not a miracle overnight solution but it worked for us. We tried to keep it very positive and encouraging and supportive. I was not willing to leave her to cry or lock her door so inflect comfortable with this approach.

I just wrote you a novel! Let me know if you have questions!