TLDR: I uncharacteristically didn’t plan out or study up on dropping the last couple of nursing sessions and it was a wildly sad bedtime experience! Can/should I start over?

DS is 19 months and we have been nursing mornings and before bed. I’m torn about weaning, but on a whim this evening, I bargained myself down to once a day. Hindsight is that the morning feed maybe should be the one to go first... Even though he loves loves “na-na”, we went from EBF to two feeds very smoothly without much planning or studying on my part. Last night (and another night about a month ago) DH had to handle bedtime without me and all went well. So that’s why I got the idea just before bedtime tonight of just continuing with last night’s pattern.

Tonight I did our bedtime routine (books, nurse, brush teeth, handoff to DH, I leave room, crib) except the nursing/“na-na”. I told DS a few times no milk tonight, but it’s not like he’s been hearing that for awhile. He was his normal self during teeth-brushing, then started to wimper when I put on his Zippadee Zip.... and then full-on screamed for “na-na” like I have never heard before when I passed him off to DH. Right then my gut was telling me that he isn’t ready and/or I didn’t do this gradually enough and/or dropping the morning would have been better.

To make it worse, DH said he needed a sippee of milk (which should be before teeth-brushing, per the routine). I thought he had said NO milk. Ugh. So I had to go get the milk while DS was screaming and sad. At that point he was too upset for milk and DH just held him. Minutes later he was asleep with just a little off and on whimpering.

So... quite a bungled effort. I am thinking of just starting over and maybe trying to drop the morning feed first. I’m just sensitive to a toddler who likes/needs structure and (as I have now learned) a gradual introduction to big changes. Help!!! I really feel like I’ve messed this up.