My daughter hit it off with a girl in her class recently, so we connected with the girl's parents to see if we can get them together for play dates, etc. The mom is very sweet and we've enjoyed getting to know her, however, there is very definitely a strong neediness vibe that I've had a bit of a hard time managing. I try really hard not to judge - I have a very hard time making friends myself - but this mom has latched on to DH and I in a way that makes me a little uncomfortable. IE, she put us down as emergency contacts/authorized pickups for her daughter without telling us. We only found out because she called us last week asking to pick up their daughter and we said absolutely but would need her permission and she said the school already had it. We invited her for dinner the same night we picked up her daughter and had a really hard time getting her to leave. It was 9 PM, her daughter was clearly tired and starting to melt down, and she just kept on chatting with us, despite us trying to hint at bedtime, etc., and then sent a note about another playdate the next day. She has talked repeatedly about being there to pick up our daughter if we needed someone to and even bought an extra car seat (which we appreciate, but again, we barely know each other) and doing all these things together. The biggest concern for me, beyond all that, is that her husband gives me a really bad vibe. We've met him a few times, he barely says anything, my DH took the girls out for a playdate with him when I was out of town and said the other dad basically didn't say anything the whole time. The mom really doesn't censor, so we know a lot more than we should at this stage of our relationship about both their backgrounds and it sounds like he's basically a drifter going job to job and she's trying to keep them afloat financially, but he doesn't want to leave our very high cost of living area.

Anyway, I definitely don't plan on having them pick up our daughter or having her be alone with them when I have the weird vibe, but I'd love any advice on how to manage someone who's very intense like this mom. She's very sweet and I really don't mind hanging out here and there, but I feel like eventually it's going to become obvious that I'm resisting her advances and I don't want to cause hurt feelings.