Baby girl's ventricles have gotten markedly worse. The doctor gives her a "high 90's" chance of never having any brain function beyond that of an infant. Unfortunately her brain stem is unaffected, so she could likely live if we deliver, even this early. So we'll be going to another state, most likely Colorado since we used to live there, to terminate some time next week.

Right at this moment we're both doing fine. The initial shock has worn off, and we are at peace with this being the right decision. There is virtually no chance of her (or us) having any quality of life whatsoever, so this is in her best interest. There's even a small (and guilt inducing) element of relief that the not knowing is over, and we don't have to dread having a child that could be extremely disabled. I'm sure once the time comes to actually move forward, the grief will hit hard, but for now we're doing well.

I'll be taking a hiatus from HB for a while, and I don't know when I'll be ready to be back. At this point we still don't know what caused her issues, or if it's related to my previous m/c's, so we don't know how we'll move forward on the starting a family front. But when the time comes I'll be heading back here for the support to try again, or maybe to start the adoption process. Thank you to everyone for your support.