Someone in our family knows that she will probably become a MIL in the not too distant future. She's so sweet and ask me for advice on how to be a good MIL and build a good relationship with her DIL. her! Anyway, I basically told her these things but that I would think if there was any other good tidbits and let her know:

-Think about things that you loved or that bothered you in your relationship with your in laws and do/avoid those things.

-Show her that you care about her as an individual, not just as ____'s wife. i.e., ask about things you know she has going on in her life, take her to do something you know she loves, etc.

-Give them room to grow into their own family, while being available for support/help when they ask.

-I didn't say, but I'm going to add: Be aware that your roles will be shifting when they have kids, and that causes some adjustment and turmoil. Let them be the parents, let them give you advice/instructions (even if it's silly and they know you know) before you keep their kids, etc. because it's THEIR kids and even thought you're very capable and have been a mom for a long time, it's their turn to navigate those waters and they care about their baby the same way you care about yours. Tell her she's a good mom. It will mean a lot to her that you acknowledge that.

What would you add? If there was a magic seminar all new in laws had to go through, what do you think the key points and advice should be?