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@bluestriped bee: do NOT apologize for what you wrote! You don't sound butter, jut honest. I can only imagine what a difficult journey this has been for you and your family and it's important to talk about it, especially here where it's a supportive community. I am so sorry about the difficulties you've encountered and I hope that things improve for you in the very near future.
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Nobody needs to apologize here!
This whole thread was about letting it out, saying what's on your mind and be honest with each other.
I think that, as women, we have all of this pressure to make sure everything appears perfectly happy, and it's not healthy to hold everything in, to keep the rough stuff to ourselves. Also, a bunch of us don't have girlfriends in real life who understand the frustrations of what we've been going through. It's not that we don't have supportive friends and SO's, it just that they don't understand. That's one of the reasons why the 'bee is so important. The women here GET it!
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My post ia kinda heavy....I'm happy with my baby and hubby but I miss my mom so much. She passed away last year and I still cry everyday for her. I saw hwr everyday and we did everythong together. Shes my best friend and i syill cant believe she ia gone. Im really really lonely without her...Its hard to be truly happy when you miss someone so much and I just can't get over that she never got to meet pierson. Its just not fair and I know I sound greedy saying its not fair BT I would give anything in this world to have her back and there is nothing I can do to fix that and it kills me. I just want her here for all of this with pierson.
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@MaisyMay: Totally agree on the 'bee being a place where fellow HB'ers just get it! I have great friends and DH is awesome, but they don't understand some of my worries and think I'm going bonkers.
I'm having a hard time balancing work and home. I just started a new job a few months ago and really love the my new position, work and colleagues. I'm also loving being a mom to DD. But I feel like I'm up to my eyeballs in both places, which makes me feel only mediocre at work and at home. My job had been really demanding an busy, and pre-mom me would have had no problem working late + weekends to get stuff done, but I am a dust cloud at 6pm to rush home so I can play with DD then put her to bed. I only see DD 1 hour a day during the week and feel like I miss a lot of her firsts. Overall just feel pulled in 50 directions and sucking at everything. =(
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Wow, I need this post today. I am unhappy for so many reasons.
I thought my PPD was going away, it's not. It's making me crazy. My DH is sniping at me all the time because we don't have enough money. Get a new job buddy. It stresses me out that he is being such a donkey. I can't seem to get a job either, no one is calling me back after my applications are posted. Some days I get NO time alone because neither child will nap. We have 1 car that we have to share and every time I want to use it I get the third degree. I'm having a hard time being at home all the time, my DH expects the house spic and span every day with two kids. Ya right buddy. I can't even go to the store without the shakedown. I also have NO money of my own.
Phew. -
Wow - it's such a bummer that so many ladies are having a rough time, but I love that the 'bee is a place for people to let it out.
I just went back to work and I'm hating my job. I'm a teacher and the school I work at is so intense. I'm so stressed about getting things done at school so I can leave on time to go home and see my son for an hour before he falls asleep. Everyone there is the type of teacher that will martyr themselves and it's always about "the kids" and we need to work insane amounts of time for "the kids". I feel awful saying it, but I'm not a teacher for "the kids". I teach because it's fun & creative - or at least it used to be. I hate that my school dictates to me what my personality should be. I doubly hate that everyone is so nice to me, because it makes me feel guilty. And I triply hate that my income is the higher one, so there's no way for me to quit and go work at a preschool.
Plus, since starting daycare DS has had exclusively green frothy poops. I have no idea exactly the cause (too much milk in my coffee? Am I only pumping foremilk at work since my pump breaks are so short? Is he sick?), but he's up constantly at night wanting to nurse for comfort because he's got terrible gas.
I wake up every morning so grumpy, but I'm trying not to put it on DH because he works so hard to support me. Thanks hive for letting us get these things out in the open. Maybe I'll start to feel better soon?
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I guess since everyone else is being so honest I should elaborate a little more.
I have never felt more unattractive in my entire life.
I have always battled depression, and now that we are TTC I can't take antidepressants, so I just feel really crummy 24/7.
I can't keep up with the housework.
We make enough money to cover our bills but I cant seem to space them out properly, so we over draft some weeks and then have excess other weeks and I am surprised at how difficult this is.
DH and I are in a scary rough patch relationship wise and I don't think he even realizes.
I haven't slept more than 2 hours without waking up in at least a month, I am so.freaking.exhausted.
I am so irritable..everyyyy thing pisses me off.
I am just generally miserable. I haven't had one day in a long time where I just felt happy. Or even content for that matter. -
@MrsTiz: Talk to some of the companies that you owe about changing the due dates. My mom did this with her cell company because her cell bill was due right when rent was, and they were able to switch it to later in the month, after her next paycheck.
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@MrsTiz: I agree. It's my always that we don't have the money but just keeping up with the bills is a full time job!!! I used to be so good at it when I had the time and when LO came I kinda said screw it but then we ended up with a bunch of cc debt.
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Nothing really. Not thrilled with my post baby body, but I know it's temporary
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@MaisyMay: The problem is that I can't figure out what days to move them all to. Uhgg.
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Generally, I'm happy.
However, I think I'll join in the financial woes boat. I'm a little stressed about money, especially when I go on mat leave. My income is the stable income in our house and DH's income is dependent on weather and clients willing to pay bills on time.
I'm also a little unhappy that one of my co-workers is going to die soon and we're probably having a meeting about her never coming back to work again oh... maybe in a half hour or so?
I also am unhappy with our house. I love love love our location, however, our house is just not big enough at all for our expanding family. Which is insane and I feel totally greedy that some people manage to live in small apartments and I can barely make a two story (with basement) house work. Our main issues are layout and the fact that my husband has large hobbies/jobs. Fitness trainer/drummer/artist. Those all take up a lot of room. Such a petty thing to be unhappy about but it's the truth.
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In general I am happy but the main thing that I am unhappy about is that all I think about it my miscarriage 4 months ago. My thoughts always go to what could have been.
I'm unhappy that my perfect job is a 70 minute commute one way... and I am exhausted by the time I get home.
I'm unhappy I have zero sex drive. Sex feels like a chore for me.
I'm unhappy that I don't have any friends here other than DH.
*sigh* -
@Ash:
I forgot about that one. I totally understand your frustration about lack of sex drive. I don't have a big libido and my husband does and I just feel so bad and guilty all the time because of it. I'm really sorry you feel the same way. It is so dang frustrating.
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@.twist.: me too. I feel like if we do do it, then I just want to get it over with. And if I turn him down, I feel like I hurt his self esteem. You're right... it's so frustrating!
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In general I have been happy, lately. The few issues I do have...
-Student loans. I feel like I shouldn't complain because I'm lucky enough to have a job to cover the payments, but it sucks knowing sooo much of my checks automatically goes towards loans. I wish I could go back and choke my 18-year-old self for putting myself in this position!!! I feel angry at myself and guilty in my marriage, because I feel my debt is holding us back
-My brother is a junkie (heroin). Dealing with his addiction has been the most stressful experience of my life. I would never wish it upon anyone.
-I'm not sure what I want to do career-wise. I work in accounting (industry, not public) but am thinking about getting my CPA license. This would entail at some point working in public accounting...kill me now.
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Debt - my husband experienced 2 layoffs since 2009 and a crappy low paying job between them. when we got married we kept our finances separate, unbeknownst to me Hubs racked up a lot of credit card debt. Now we combined finances, he has a better job and I'm working a full and part time job and it still going to take almost three years to climb out of the hole
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@Ash: @.twist.: a big HUGE +1 on that. I can't remember the last time I initiated sex, or was excited when DH asked lol poor guy.
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Generally happy, but currently not happy as our family has the stomach bug. My son has not had one healthy week since starting daycare 3 months ago and I feel terrible about it.
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@winniebee: Aww, poor guy
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@MaisyMay: "I think that, as women, we have all of this pressure to make sure everything appears perfectly happy, and it's not healthy to hold everything in, to keep the rough stuff to ourselves. Also, a bunch of us don't have girlfriends in real life who understand the frustrations of what we've been going through. It's not that we don't have supportive friends and SO's, it just that they don't understand. That's one of the reasons why the 'bee is so important. The women here GET it!"
This. Exactly.
I forgot about that one. I totally understand your frustration about lack of sex drive. I don't have a big libido and my husband does and I just feel so bad and guilty all the time because of it. I'm really sorry you feel the same way. It is so dang frustrating.
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