Background: there's a young-ish guy working at our large in-home daycare. He's not just some random guy wanting to be with little kids; he is the long-time teacher's younger brother AND he went to that very daycare as a kid. My place is a registered NYS daycare center and he was background checked.
TBH, I think it's creepy. He's fine I guess, has said some unprofessional things and seems in general kind of.... like a loser. It's just not sitting right with me, but I have no basis I guess to think he's that weird...I think I watch the news too much. My 9 month old has been there for 2 months and seems very happy but I just cannot understand why a guy would want to work with a bunch of literal babies.
Am I being judgmental? Are there guys working at your daycare?
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We have a male working at are daycare. It never phased me and LO loves him. But he's totally not creepy and a dad of 3
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Last year we had a 19-year-old guy do his civil service at daycare. Where we live, military or civil service is required out of high school. He was awesome. He really seemed to get along with the kids and I liked that they had a male figure in an otherwise female-dominated school. This year he started university but he is still working twice a week for a few hours at daycare. The kids seem happy to have him around. We also hired him to give my older LO guitar lessons. I think he's studying to become a teacher, so it all makes sense to me. I think it's great and I've seen a number of other daycares around here with either male "volunteers" (like our guy) or male teachers.
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The preschool teacher at our daycare is a guy and he's awesome! The kids love him and I've never had a second thought about it being weird or anything.
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Our daycare is a owned by a husband and wife. The husband spends most of his time in the office, but he definitely interacts with the kids still and they all love him!
I don't think this would bother me, especially at a center where teachers are often paired up and not alone with the kids for extended periods of time.
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We have had 2 males and me and the kids and tons of other parents all LOVED them!! I think there should be more male teachers!
They both had their Bachelors in Early Education and were great with the kids!
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I hate that this even bothers me, but it does! I just wonder why a young guy would want to wipe butts when he could be doing something else.... Out town has a lot of service jobs and is bustling...
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@pachamama: I should mention males are NOT allowed to do diapers or anything potty related at our DCP.
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We don't use daycare but almost all of the teachers at our Kidville (a gym/music/art place for kiddos) are guys in their early 20's - even the ones in the baby classes - and I've never thought anything of it. But I also don't think those guys are creepy, unprofessional or losers - if I did, I'd have a problem, male or female.
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@pachamama: I know what you're saying but isn't this universally true? Like, why does any young person want to wipe butts alll day when there are other jobs?
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@pachamama: is it men or just this guy? Unprofessional comments and seeming like a loser would not make me feel comfortable whether male or female.
At a church we went to when my oldest was little there was a guy who started looking after the 1 year olds. I left her once and wouldn't again. I told DH I guess I was a little sexist and he was like well, you don't think it would bother you if it was a woman had their butt crack hanging out, didn't look like they'd bathed in a week and wouldn't make eye contact. I'm like yeah, good point. Trusting someone, especially people who are essentially strangers, with your kid is a big deal so we pick up on little things.
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There are not men working at the daycare but there are men who volunteer at the church daycare and they have all been great with the kids.
My DH is a SAHD and we have talked about him potentially working at a daycare - he is very good with our kids, was a teacher for 8 years, etc. I don't think a male working in a daycare should necessarily be viewed as creepy or loser like. Why does gender have to factor into if someone is a good daycare teacher/worker or not? -
Posts like this always make me so sad
I work as a nanny FT but I also have a ton of families that I babysit for randomly. My boyfriend often covers for me whenever I am already booked. He's amazing with kids and every kid and parent loves him. He babysat all the time in HS to make extra cash. He has a very special bond with my nanny kids and it melts my heart to see him interact with them. I'm so grateful that our bosses are so accepting.
Would you feel the same way if you had a son who wanted to babysit? Do you feel the same way about a male nurse or teacher?
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@maysprout- I agree.
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I don't get this at all. Why should a young man be any less interested in working with kids than a young woman? My dad was a teacher - do you think that's weird? At what age do you think it becomes ok for men to work with kids?
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@Mamaof2: I think this is weird! The male teachers aren't allowed to change diapers or take kids to the bathroom? If I were one of the teachers at that daycare (male or female) I'd be mad about that. They trust them to work with the kids but not to see their private parts? I think if you don't trust that the men you hired, vetted, and work side by side with aren't pedophiles you probably shouldn't hire men.
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I wouldn't think twice.
DH is awesome with kids I could see him working in a daycare in his younger days.Getting a sketchy feeling is different though.
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There are a handful of college guys working at our daycare- it's part of the local university teacher curriculum to participate and a couple of them have stuck around and gotten hired as teaching assistants. It's normal for us.
I think if a person creeps you out, you stick with your gut.
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@erinbaderin: I think teachers are a little different than the infant room at a daycare, but I guess I'm judging again
I'm a teacher myself and I rarely see men in the younger grades but I know some wonderful male teachers. I think it's more of my gut instinct that's bugging me.
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@Mamaof2: that is so strange males can't change diapers and do potty. That reinforces the idea that men are not to be trusted with babies, right?!
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I used to be a preschool teacher and worked in several daycares during/after college. In my 5 years in early childhood education, I only knew 3 male teachers...and they were all amazing! I know it's uncommon, especially with babies, but it wouldn't bother me. If they were otherwise non-creepy and professional, I wouldn't think twice about a male teacher.
My husband is a teacher (2nd and 3rd grade) and he considered moving to kindergarten this year and it's sad, but he mentioned how he hoped no one would think it was weird, just because it's so uncommon.
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There is a male teacher at my daughters daycare. He's in the pre school room. I don't think there is anything strange about it. The kids love him. And the daycare has subsidized spots so several kids are from low income single parent homes , I think it's awesome they have a male influence .
Also I think my husband would make an amazing daycare teacher. He's so good with little kids. Not sure why male daycare teacher would automatically = creep?
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I don't think it's weird - we had a male preschool teacher at daycare, and my uncle is a kindergarten music teacher. If a specific teacher, male or female, gave me a bad feeling, that's different.
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@pachamama: @erinbaderin: we don't go there anymore so I cant ask why but I just remember the director telling me this was policy
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There are three young/young-ish males (early 20's to early 30's) working at my daughter's daycare through UPK program (so pre2's through 4's). One of them is a program head, two are gymnastics/dance teachers who also help out in covering the head teachers' breaks at lunch and rest time. I've seen firsthand how much they adore the kids of all ages. They're great - energetic, enthusiastic, and super patient. My older DD listens really well to them at preK, and my younger DD has done a few open gyms with one of the guys and is obsessed with him! I think it's so nice the kids get to interact with males as well as females, particularly for the little boys.
You didn't say what makes this guy a loser in your mind- is it a gut feeling, his appearance, specific behaviors?
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Our daycare only has 1 male teacher (works in the Pre-k room) and he's been there 15 years. DS1 loves him!
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@erinbaderin: I agree! The not diapering/toileting thing is totally bizarre to me.
D had a male caregiver in his young toddler class and he LOVED him. He was really sad when Mr. Z left. But I got zero weird vibes from him.
I have no issues with a male daycare worker. But if you're getting a weird vibe from the one at yours, that's different. I get a weird vibe from one of the women at ours, and A is supposed to move to that class once she's a year old and walking. Weird vibes can happen, male or female.
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So my younger brother really loves kids and is great with them, which I think makes it seem a bit more normal to me but I admit, that it would give me pause to see a male DCP, especially with young young, non-walking babies. But overall I know a lot of young guys that love kids and are stellar with them so I would just brush it off.
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@littlebug: agreed!
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I used to work at a daycare that had a male daycare worker and male cook. The daycare worker was quite young, but had two kids and his fiancé worked there too. He was great, hardworking, and the kids adored him. Theee are so few men in childcare it sort of sucks for the kids. There are more men working in schools (less than women) and it always seems that the kids often immediately gravitate towards them and like them.
The male cook at that daycare was not a pleasant person though and he made a lot of inappropriate comments throughout the day and to me personally. Not related to children, but it made me uncomfortable. He was a fair by older.
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The lead teacher in DD's toddler room was a guy, similar in age to me and DH. I admit, I was a little weirded out at first, but he is a great teacher and DD absolutely LOVED him. After thinking about it more, I couldn't justify feeling weird about him when the daycare owner is a man and the head music teacher is a man. Why should it have mattered that her actual teacher was a man too? It must be something ingrained into us culturally or something. Anyway, after a little while, I got totally used to it and honestly he ended up being the best teacher she has had. He was always professional, on top of things (the women teachers were a little absent minded, frankly), and great with the kids. He has his own children too, and I think he just really liked working with kids. DD was sad to leave him when she moved up into the preschool room.
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Yes you’re being judgmental, but you know it. If I were you, I guess I would want to also focus on why you question why a man would “want to wipe butts” but not why a woman would? Why should a man be out there looking for something else – but women should be happy to work at a daycare? I think that thinking does reinforce distrust for men with children, or that work with children work appropriate only for women.
There are no men at LO’s daycare and that’s too bad. I think it would be excellent for both little boys and girls to see men in more caregiver positions.
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@pachamama: We have a similar sounding male teacher at DS's daycare. He's the brother of one of the head teachers. He's super awkward and creepy-ish although all the other teachers assure us he's great with the kids. DS is not a fan of him though. He always seems to cry when he's holding him. He was moved to another room and quite frankly I'm relieved!
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@pachamama: just from your comments it sounds more like an issue with that particular teacher...not just that he is male.
Dd had 2/4 male teachers last year. They were awesome. Her teachers this year are a better fit for her personally but I think ds is going to love that class when he is 3, and dd liked it too. I think it's great for kids to have male teachers, at any age. I worked for a director whose philosophy included that all teachers have experience 0-5/6!
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My DH has always been the one on diaper duty in our house and never minded. I think he'd enjoy being a dcp. No it wouldn't bother me at all.
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@erinbaderin: ditto to all of this
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A male DCP in general isn't an issue, but a creepy one specifically would be...like does he have any education in the field or he's just like hanging around? I don't know whether I'd like the random adult siblings of any gender just hanging out there. Doesn't seem professional.
In terms of male caregivers, some guys just like kids, same as women!
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@pachamama: If you're getting a creepy gut feeling, that's probably what's bothering you more than that he's male. Does the place have a camera? Is he ever alone with the kids? That's something I'm thinking about with any day care staff... that I'm more comfortable if they're not alone with the kids, if only because sometimes kids can make anyone lose their temper, even a professional.
There is the context too. Yes, many men are very good with kids, but there is a perception these days that caring for very young kids is a woman's job. We can argue whether the stereotype is a good thing, but it's there. So what made him go against that stereotype? Is it that's he's very driven to be an educator and loving to work with kids? Or something sketchy? I'm getting the impression you're worried it's something sketchy...
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There is a male teacher at LOs daycare, in the Jr. Pre-school or pre-school class. The kids seem to love him and I am not remotely concerned about LO being in his class someday. If I was not getting a good vibe off of him (or any teacher, of any gender) I would follow up on it. But I wouldn't automatically assume he was "weird" or "creepy" because he enjoys working with young children.
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There are a couple male workers at my kids' daycare and they range from mediocre to amazing, just like the women (none creepy though).
There was a particularly great one but he left last year to join corporate America. It's been a big loss to the school! But I can't blame him, daycare jobs don't pay nearly enough. I'd focus on the individual, not the gender. It makes me really sad to think that my sons would be judged for doing any job they wanted to just because they're male.
I'm a teacher myself and I rarely see men in the younger grades but I know some wonderful male teachers. 
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