I'm thinking about buying a necklace or bracelet to help heal. What did you do? Do you have any suggestions for me?
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We have an angel ornament for our Christmas tree. It's part of our tradition where we get an angel for special people we've lost that year.
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We planted a hydrangea.
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My friend planted a weeping cherry tree in their yard
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After my mc, a lot of cardinals started hanging around our yard. I remember thinking they somehow came by to tell me that everything would be ok. So we bought a christmas ornament of a small cardinal to remember.
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I walk with my friend who lost a baby in an annual Walk to Remember. I think that organization has chapters throughout California and maybe other states.
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I got a bracelet off etsy. It had the doctor who quote- "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things… The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things, and make them unimportant." I also intended to get a Christmas ornament, but now that I think of it, we never found one I liked so I didn't. I'd still like to do that. My second loss was so early I didn't do anything for it. Had it been my first, I probably would have, but after a later one it just didn't seem as big of a deal.
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We were going to get me a piece of jewelry but I never found exactly what I wanted in either case. For both our losses, we named our babies (while it was early, we both had a sense that they were each girls). We sent out cards (basically like a baby announcement) to our friends and close family that included their name, the meaning behind it, and the Bible verse that helped us through each loss. We have saved one of each and will eventually have them framed. We were very open about our loss with our family and community and it allowed us to go through the full grieving process - almost like having a wake - because it acknowledged the life and the death. We found it to be very healing and oddly super helpful to other women we knew who had miscarried but had never talked to anyone about it until we brought our own MC up.
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Ours was a bit different b/c it was quite late at 20 weeks, but DH and I both got tattoos, we organised a plaque for the baby an put it on my grandparents' grave and then we had a kind of memorial, just the two of us, on his due date.
So sorry about your loss
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We went to one of those paint and drink classes the next day after we found out to try to cheer ourselves up. The painting was of a budding branch in spring. I have them hanging in my bedroom and they remind me of a sad time, but that new things grow.
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