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Sleep and going out to eat past 6pm
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@Truth Bombs: how awful! that's a mother's worst fear
@mamabolt: me too! I kind of regret all the vacations I took as a single girl. If only I'd thought to save that money so I didn't have to work so much...
I miss being able to get stuff done. Cooking that used to take an hour is now an all day project with constant interruptions, and art projects that would have taken me one weekend now drag on for months. I also miss hiking, and being able to help people. Like if someone I know has a health crisis or something, it's almost impossible to drop everything and go see them... never mind smaller stuff like shoveling my parents' stairs in winter.
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Money. Sleep. Being up on all the great restaurants. Being able to sit on the couch and watch stupid tv without calculating how many hours until I will be woken up...
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Watching tv at my leisure while snacking in the middle of the day on the couch in pjs. Going to target alone! coming home from work and not caring about dinner if i don't feel like it, getting in pjs and going straight to bed to watch tv.
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You know, last year this question was posted and I had a list a mile long. Now that LO is 2 and I'm more used to this life, I miss less. Right now, I'm missing doing things on a whim. Deciding last minute that I'm going to go shopping or to the gym etc.
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money & nice romantic dinners out.
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Spontaneous nights out. We used to go to the theater/symphony/concerts every 1-3 months, and sometimes it was spur of the moment. I haven't been to the theater in a few years now.
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Right now? Carefree childless vacations. We just did Maui the other week with a 1 year old and my parents and it was SO MUCH WORK. DH firmly does not want to take DS on vacation again until he's at least 2.5 or 3.
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Morning sex.
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sleep. Vacations is a really close second. No, if I had to put it in order, it would be travelling and then sleep! With 2 back to back kids pretty much and me being on mat leave for 24/28.5 months, we can't afford to travel!
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Spending quality time alone with DH. Now if we want to do that it has to be scheduled way in advance ands costs a ton of money. We never really slept in past 7/8ish anyway and thankfully daycare isn't a huge financial burden.
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Hair appointments! I use to go every 6 weeks to touch up my color. Now I'm lucky if I can go once every few years
Which stinks because I have a lot of grays now.
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Same as @Truth Bombs:, I miss being able to hear sad stories and not being overwhelmed by it. And not worrying a lot, having to check that she's breathing, etc.
I also miss free time to do things like spending hours decorating cookies. Or hell, just having time to clean.
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@ChitownRo: this might be one of the main things I am looking forward to on our vacation next week.
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@MK0180: haha yes! 630 used to be such an early dinner before the baby but now it can't be later than 5 or else it messes everything up!
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Sleeping in, being mommy-guilt free, having money to go out.
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The convenience of spontaneity is great, but really and truly nothing.
I'm much happier now with my monkeys squabbling in the living room than I was closing down a bar at 2am. I have definitely learned to appreciate our rare date nights out much more.
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@mrs.shinerbock: same here! if I leave work a little early and miss traffic I can run maybe one errand (thankfully grocery store is directly on my way home), but I miss the old days of leaving work, going to target/tj maxx/grocery store without an eye on the clock.
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Quality sleep. I feel becoming a mother means I'll never really deep sleep again as every little noise wakes me up now. And traveling without kids - it's not really relaxing with a toddler.
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Freedom to do whatever, whenever. It takes so much planning to get out of the house with her. And I can go several days of trying to just get to the grocery store before I actually do.
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Being able to do what I want when I want to and sleep. My sleep is not the same since having kids and I'm quite sad about that.
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Sleep. And planning travel. Travel is just so much more of a headache now, and we have to travel far in order to see family. Ugh. But I have to say, I mourn my old life a lot less than I thought I would. The things I miss have been replaced by new, crazy, fun (at times) things!!
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@ChitownRo: Yup!!!!!
#1 would have to be going out to dinner or drinks on a whim.
Also my figure. I totally fall into the "I wish I was as skinny as I was when I thought I was fat" camp.
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Sleep. Specifically, not having to get out of bed immediately after I wake up (am woken up).
Having marginally less anxiety.
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@mrsjyw: ay carumba, the big overseas travel holidays!! But I know we will get back there soon, just financially we've been pretty tight with ourselves since LO arrived. He has been on a plane 12 times already, but only on trips across to NZ so I don't count it as a real holiday
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Being able to leave the house in the evenings (like after LO bedtime).
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Today, I'd say I miss my relationship before my son. In many ways its better, but overall we were more in tune with each other and more light-hearted in our interactions when it was just the two of us. I see the old "us" more and more every day, and I think that I can finally see us getting back there in the near future. The first year of parenthood is HARD. It felt like we were gone for good. We were just...different.
A year ago I was in newborn shell-shocked misery. I missed my "me time" and freedom so, so badly. I didn't feel like myself. I remember in week two just crying my eyes out as my son slept because I hadn't left the apartment in days due to naps and weather and fear. I thought to myself "I'm never going to have a life again. My life is over. I'll never be happy again. This sucks. I can't believe THIS is what I went to great lengths (IVF) for." Could have been baby blues. Could have been some mild PPD. Or maybe its just normal new mom stuff, as I know a lot of women who felt that way. I'm amazed at what a difference a year makes. We have worked out a great system so that we have at least one date night a week and I see friends about once a week for dinner or drinks. We finally have figured out a way to split duties that makes us both feel happy and leaves us with free time. My son goes to bed between 6:30/7 and sleeps till 6:30/7, so I have a good 5 or so hours to myself before I go to bed. I really am a "me time" person and in many ways a loner. So that alone made a huge difference.
I say all of this in case there is anyone reading who is struggling in the early days and thinking about missing "me" time. Its so cliche and you'll hear it a gazillion times, but it DOES get better and before you know it you'll feel like you again
Hope this didn't get too off-topic! -
definitely just having the freedom to do whatever, whenever.
but having kids has made me so much of a better person so it is a totally awesome thing i wouldn't trade for the world.
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