DD told me tonight, "I don't like you. I'm mad at you because Daddy's not home" (he was on his way home from work). Sometimes I just want to say "yeah well I don't like you either right now!"
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I say "that's okay because I love you!"
It makes no sense, and she usually forgets that she doesn't like me or tells me she loves me too.
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My son doesn't do this (yet), but when the kids I worked with said it, they were clearly testing my love for them, so I always said "that's a bummer, because I really like you!" Took the power away from them and defused the situation.
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Sometimes I'll say, "you don't have to like me, but you still have to listen to me."
Other times it's, "Well, I still love you no matter what." - then she'll respond with, "I didn't say LOVE. I said LIKE."... so I'll go, "Ok well... I'll still LIKE you no matter what too!"
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Too bad because I still love you even if I don't like how you're acting right now.
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@BeachMama: I agree with pps about not engaging and reminding her that you love her.
I also think it may help to reflect her feelings and validate them, ie "oh you are mad because you wish daddy was home. I wish daddy was home too. You love to xxx with daddy/what do you want to play with daddy next time he is home/etc."
It sounds like she is really upset about daddy and that you are not him, so that might be a better conversation?
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@Mamacate great reminder! While our LO doesn't say that exactly, we are starting to get "go away" (usually Daddy) and other unbecoming behavior. Good for me to remember not to take it personally!
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Like others I usually say "that's ok, you don't have to like me right now, but I do love you"
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My son has said that he is mad at me before, and I answered with "It is okay to express your feelings." I tried to be as neutral as possible and not make it about me, by saying that my feelings were hurt. I am not sure it made much of an impression though.
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@looch: yes definitely be neutral! The 1st time DS told me he hated me my feelings were so hurt and I sent him to his room. After talking with the therapist she told me that was the worst thing I could have done - he was looking to get a rise from me and he succeeded!
I have learned my lesson! -
I'm sure as soon as LO can formulate this sentence, she will say it. =) Every evening, she gets a little grumpy and repeats over and over...."Dadda office? Dadda home?"
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