Hellobee Boards

I think it has something to do with the size, possibly that a lot of the users originated from WB and came together and a lot of them knew each other and really set the tone?

I also think that Mr./MrsBee have the whole "less is more" thing down when it comes to moderation. None of us feel like we're going to get scolded if we swear or state an opinion. As long as we state it politely we can pretty much say whatever we want. I think as adults it's nice to know we're trusted and not treated like children.

I think size has a lot to do with it. It's a fairly small forum and the community feels close knit. I also think the members do a good job of policing each other and calling each other out when there is BS going on.

I think size, maturity level and education level play a big role. Posts on this site tend to be better spelled, worded and are in general more rational and researched than things I read on other baby/mom web sites, so I figure we all have better things to do than be inflammatory just for fun.

i think mr. and mrs. bee set a good tone and example for us
they always have an encouraging and respectful way of commenting on even the most 'controversial' topics, while still giving their own personal opinion of it.

Size and level of education, agree. The mere lack of "text speak" on this site sets it apart from a lot of others, which I happen to think lends itself to things being more civil overall. Everyone seems relatively mature and educated and more likely to be able to engage in peaceful discourse.

@sarac: i totally agree. i think that because everyone else acts in such a civilized and supportive manner, it's much harder for a single user to come in and be aggressive and nasty.

Size and age of the site, I think. But I think we're more civil on topics of parenthood because we know how touchy our own choices can be when criticized, so we tend not to criticize others. Plus we're all in the same boat of learning as we go, so we're more open to other opinions and experiences, reading material, etc.

But I've seen a lot of that kind of fall apart on more political, non-parenthood-related topics. So I'm trying to steer away from those types of threads in general because things can get pretty snarky -- which I think is going to be the case anywhere when you're dealing with non-experiential controversial topics where people's minds cannot be changed.

I think the size has a lot to do with it. There does t seem to be people in and out as much as other sites. I love that it is drama free and hope it stays that way.

@tororojo: I agree -- I've always thought that HB users are a little more educated than those on other forums. Either you're all posting from iPhones with fantastic autocorrect, or you've got a pretty good handle on the English language.

I remember when I first started TTC before I discovered HB. I was on some other forum (The Bump - maybe?), and I couldn't get over how snarky the whole thing was. It annoyed me that they were always getting mad at people who posted BFPs without "participating" in the community. It made them all sound old and bitter.

I HB !

I think it's a number of factors, but ones that stand out to me are the smaller community/family size and the thoughtful ways that people ask questions. I can't remember ever seeing a post that started out with a negative tone, condemning others of their choices - instead posters always leave it open to input and honest curiosity, which I love.

Also, that part on 30 Rock had me laughing so hard last night!

I agree its the size, theres not so many members, we pretty much all seem to be familiar with the regular commenters and thread startes so its harder to be rude or mean to people that you feel like you "know"

Also a lot of use knew each other from weddingbee, but the topics here are much less tense and stressful than the wedding planning at weddingbee

@Mrs. Tricycle: yup, some of the other boards are rough. I don't use other sites, except WB, but one of the girls on my birth month on WB mentioned that one of the other boards was awful, so then I HAD to go take a peek, of course...

And sure enough, on my birth month on THAT site, there were a lot of "vent" posts about hating how everyone (on that particular month! Not even on the general board) posts about the same things. They said they didn't want to hear about anyone's utrasound worries or updates, didn't want to hear about baby naming quandaries, didn't want to hear about any more baby showers, didn't want to hear any more gender announcements, and didn't want to see any more "stupid questions" that had already been answered.

I was like, what is a monthly birth board for, except for those things, specifically? yuuck....not fun.

Edit: To clarify, not my birth month on WB--those girls are great, actually. It is another, well known site.

I think life stages play a big factor.

Take for instance wedding forums, where everyone is self focused on their ring stone size, dress brands, big day details, the whole thing is somewhat vain and temporary.

Then you have a child or prepare for one, and all of your life's priorities take a shift. When your 3 weeks into caring for a newborn, your engagement ring is probably the absolute last care in your world, that dress you wore one time means nothing. Motherhood instincts and survival kick in.

HB is great because while your struggling , and trying to stay afloat in this whole new world & mindset, someone can always offer you a word of advice, tell you your not alone, or crazy-whatever the issue is at hand. Having children whether through adoption, or any method possible is life changing! You will never be quite the same!

And also having a tight knit, more exclusive community helps boat loads. If there were 5,000 members, I'm not sure it would look the same!