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Sigh. Toddlers are tough!

Have you tried distracting/redirecting instead of saying no? You could try other methods for a week or two until she forgets her current reaction to the word "no."

We're also having some issues with DD, and I've been trying to stay calm and direct with her. When she gets upset, I simply move on very calmly to the next thing we need to do. Ignoring her isn't working for us, and I don't want to scoop her up each time she throws a tantrum. So, for example, tonight she refused to put her pj's on. I gave her an opportunity to do it by herself, but she refused, so I gently put her up on my lap and put her pj's on for her. She started crying, and where I normally would have reminded her that doing things herself is easier on both of us, I totally ignored what just happened and moved on to picking out a story for bedtime. I took out three books, described each one and asked her to choose. She stopped crying, moved on, and the rest of the bedtime routine went off without a hitch! Idk if this will help you, but this is the first thing that has worked for us!