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Do you have anyone to babysit.so you can
sneak in a date every once in a while? We make sure to try to fit in a date at least once a month if not more. And when lo goes to bed we have a couple of hours for us time.

@BabyBoecksMom: what if you guys just cuddled in bed? You can rest and still get some hubby time.

I don't think you are alone in feeling this way! I'm not there yet, but I can imagine how the balance is going to be difficult! My husband jokes that he is "going to be ignored" when the baby arrives. I think to some extent that is true at least for the first few months....the baby has so many needs and is so helpless! I'm just hoping as LO grows and we settle into a routine, we will have more time for our relationship.

I say wife first, then mom second.
You and your DH were a family before your lo came into the picture. Must make sure that your marriage is thriving and healthy so you can provide a stable and loving environment for your LO(s).

Your LO is still young. After 3 months or so things will settle down and then it might be time to do some evaluating. Right now it is too soon and you are learning how to meet LO's needs so I say don't put too much pressure on yourselves. It seems like you are doing great if you've already had 3 date nights. Most people probably don't get to do that so soon!

I tell people pregnancy lasts for 3 months after baby is born. I was back down to my pre-preg weight within 2 months but there's a lot of recovery and learning that needs to be done in those first 3 months. You guys will get better at carving out time for one another but 7 weeks isn't that long when your body and life just underwent major craziness.

You need sleep to be a good wife and mother! So don't feel bad for sleeping! Date nights both in and out of the house will get easier. While LO is a sleepy newborn and it's getting to be spring try to go on little lunch dates out of the house or to the park. Baby can be there sleeping while you and hubby bond.

I have NO idea. And I don't know if there's a magic answer to this one.
I think it'll be a hard balance to maintain. Even more so if you think mother first but husband thinks wife first.

I think for my husband and I we both thinks parents first.

We don't have family nearby to babysit so those few -hopeful- hours at night after she goes to bed will be precious!

I'm worried about how to balance wife and mother after baby is born too. I think it's normal to feel a little torn and overwhelmed in the beginning, but it's about finding that healthy balance. It takes some major adjustment and effort in the beginning, but that's something we're prepared for. Our LO will be 1 month old on our 1 year if she comes on her due date. We're fortunate enough to have our families close though, so we'll be able to take some alone time and date nights when we need to reconnect hopefully.

I'm not a mother yet, but my mom always taught me to be a mom first and a wife second. So I might be in the minority here. I think that my DH is mature enough to realize that a child requires more attend then he does. However I do not plan on neglecting him, he is just more self sufficient than a child will be. We will just have to be aware of when we need a date night or an adult night.

@tequiero21: I think for us it'll be a case of both parents being useless to each other until the LOs are past the first six weeks at least!
Yeah overall I know of too many couples where the marriage became too small of a concern while the kids became the world - it often results in spoiled, entitled kids and collapsed marriages. I married him for him, not just to have kids with. But it is a very fluid balance, and newborns are always going to take over your mind body and home... It'll come right!

This actually came up in our pre-marital counseling. We spent tons of time on it (way more than I thought we should actually since we aren't even anywhere near ttc), but he really harped on wife duties come before mom because your marriage will be more solid to be better parents. Shrugs-I have no personal experience, we're newlyweds too, so I'm still learning what this all entails.
But, don't feel bad. Everything is a learning experience. Make sure you are taking time for YOU or else it won't be good for anyone. Even if it's 10min to walk outside, read a book, etc. A day of pampering is always a wonderful suggestion but you may not have the extra funds, or even time to do that with a new LO.