I think family members should totally be able to give showers! My mom is convinced its tacky and won't throw me a shower when we have a LO.
I think family members should totally be able to give showers! My mom is convinced its tacky and won't throw me a shower when we have a LO.
watermelon / 14206 posts
My mom and MIL threw my shower. I've even heard of people throwing their own showers.
squash / 13199 posts
Yeah I know a lot of people that throw showers for their family members
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@katiew92081: @Mrsbells: Agreed! I am trying to convince her, but Miss Manners says it is not proper etiquette.
bananas / 9899 posts
My SIL did my wedding shower. No one was offended.
Why the heck is it such a faux-pas if invitation addresses are not hand written? I don't get this. My handwriting is so terrible most of the invitations probably wouldn't have made it lol. I wasn't about to pay for someone else to do calligraphy on something that is going to be thrown away. I printed the addresses, they looked awesome and it still took me hours of work.
I think etiquette needs to evolve with the times.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Oh I have one...the double envelopes for wedding invitations. Totally not needed and they're a waste of paper. They're left over from when the mail was hand delivered and the person delivering the mail would remove the dirty outer envelope for presentation.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
none of our family members care for the shower rule. my MIL threw my big bridal shower and threw me a small baby shower. my mom threw our other baby shower.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@daniellemybelle: Did you tell her that my etiquette crazy mama and her sisters gave it the OK??? : )
coconut / 8234 posts
@daniellemybelle: I agree. I don't follow that crap. All of the baby showers I have been to were organized/hosted by the pregnant woman's family.
@pui: This one I don't get either. Some people have illegible handwriting, so you have to pay someone to write pretty for you? I swear that some of these rules were made to swindle us from our money.
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
@daniellemybelle: I've always heard of family members hosting. I've only ever been to family hosted ones.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@MamaMoose: She would probably just pat herself on the back for being etiquette superior. I think I am going to break her down, though!
@pui: I guess it seems like it's not as "heartfelt"? Because paying someone else to handwrite it is sooo heartfelt...
@looch: That's interesting background! I don't think inner/outer envelopes are necessary at all. That was one thing my mom was actually OK with not doing!
pomegranate / 3580 posts
I've never heard of the no family hosting rule. I think all showers I've been to have been hosted by family!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@daniellemybelle: if you really want a shower throw it yourself. You can't force anyone to give you va party. The invite could read; come celebrate the upcoming arrival of baby...You can leave out the hosted by part abd just put your contact info down y for the RSVP.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
My mom, sister, and sil hosted my shower. Wedding and baby shower actually.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: My mom would throw herself off a bridge if I hosted my own shower.
So interesting that no one has heard of this! Just to substantiate it: http://living.msn.com/life-inspired/miss-manners-advice/miss-manners-on-throwing-a-baby-shower-for-mom-zilla Not that I buy it one bit!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I know of the 'no family throwing showers' rule, but I ignore it, as does almost everyone I know. I'm pretty sure almost all of the showers I've been to or been invited to were thrown by moms and sisters.
Other than that, there are a lot of rules that I might find silly, but I follow just to not look bad, I guess. I hand address envelopes because my handwriting is nice enough and it's easier than printing for me, but the double envelope is dumb.
I do think throwing your own shower would be a little tacky, even though I can see the temptation. My little sister and her fiance are having an engagement party for themselves and even that I was hesitant about (even though it's really none of my business and no one cares).
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@daniellemybelle: ha ha, well you don't want that to happen! I have heard that close relatives are not supposed to throw showers, but a) how will you get the event you really want if you don't do it yourself and b) does it really matter? IMO- No!
The Kardashian sisters and mom threw Kourtney her babies' showers. Kim and Phaedra threw their own over the top showers for their sons.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@Foodnerd81: I think anything where you look greedy (having your party where gifts are expected) is not in good taste. But engagement parties are not always gift-giving events so that's a gray area.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm so with you but I don't think using reality TV stars as examples for my mom will win her over!
honeydew / 7687 posts
@daniellemybelle: my mom thinks the same - I haven't heard of or been to any family hosted showers before though.
Not sure if its etiquette but I never make the bed unless we have company... Just seems like a waste of time!
pomelo / 5000 posts
The shower hosting thing is outdated for sure!
I also learned that it's poor taste to say "congrats!" to a woman who is recently engaged. I have always done so. Here's a cut and paste that explains it from on etiquette blog: "Saying congratulations to a bride implies that she has won something – her groom. The groom is to be congratulated for getting the lady to accept his marriage proposal. To avoid controversy, many people just extend their best wishes to the bride and the groom!”"
eggplant / 11716 posts
Thank you cards after a funeral for people who sent flowers. I had a friend whose mom died young, and very suddenly, who was SUPER stressed about writing a thank you card to the people who sent flowers or even just a card (wtf---I think it's ludicrous to send a card for a card) when she was also trying t arrange a funeral, help her dad figure out leftover hospital bills, insurance policies, contact family members, buy a funeral plot and stone....arrange a wake, and and after-dinner for out of town family members. And she was beside herself with grief during the whole process.
And one of her aunts called and complained that it'd been two weeks since she'd sent flowers and she hadn't received a think you card yet.
I wanted tell her aunt, "bitch, keep your flowers if you have to have a card in return!" But that's because I have no patience for mean people.
That's my biggest etiquette pet peeve.
coconut / 8475 posts
@pui: I didn't know this! I'm addicted to my label maker. My handwriting looks like I am still struggling to finish up the 2nd grade.
@daniellemybelle: I'm 100% against throwing your own shower. My mom and sister threw mine though! No one seemed to have a problem with it. We even used my house! Mainly because it is more "party friendly" (counter space, seating, open concept) and because I didn't want to carry preset to & fro (we have 35 guests).
nectarine / 2217 posts
LOL!! i totally thought it was the family who was SUPPOSED to throw the shower for the new mom/bride!
who knew?
i've been to both kinds, where family (SILs, sisters, moms, cousins, etc) who throw the shower, and others where girlfriends throw the shower.
coconut / 8475 posts
@Anagram: are you kidding me!? There is no way IN HELL I am writing a thank you note to a person who brought funeral flowers. If you really care about my grief, then you wouldn't burden me to remember your card at a time like this! I would, however, return the kind gesture if ever they were in a similar circumstance....then is being flowers and no, I wouldn't expect a thank you card
pear / 1895 posts
@daniellemybelle: my mom wouldn't throw me a wedding shower, either. The only parties/showers I've ever had in my honor were given by friends. I'm from MS, so maybe things are more "proper" there? Are you from the South?
pear / 1895 posts
I'm really not much for etiquette, beyond being polite and respectful. I want people to be themselves! Being around super-proper people makes me all uptight and nervous.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@Anagram: Never heard of it and so not cool. Usually at funerals I have attended a family friend will thank all the well-wishers and peope who provided for flowers during the service because the immediate family is to distraught in their grief.
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