I'm doing my performance evaluation for 2013 today. I was on leave from Feb - July so it's a little hard to evaluate everything. Besides, I can't write the things I really want to write. Here's what I want to put.

-I pumped over 1500 fl oz of milk - without missing a meeting. I am in sight of meeting my goal of pumping until 1 year.
- I remembered my pump parts 97.7% of the time.
-I walked out of the pumping room wearing a shirt 100% of the time.
-I remembered to bring my pump bag home 99.2% of the time.
- I never left early for a sick child retrieval. (My baby likes to get sick on my drive home.)
-I skillfully lulled my baby to sick baby to sleep while conducting conference calls.
- I consistently arrived within 1 hours of my agreed start time.
-I got up, came into work, and made it through every day without once calling in sick for exhaustion.
-I blew off work and went to the zoo during those 'wait 24 hours after fever/diarrhea/antibiotics windows' (it can't all be in work's favor, right?)

What performance measures would you have?