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@Cherrybee: if it makes you feel better, I do all the night wake ups- she only wants to eat and I'm still bfing, so Dh stays snuggled in bed. He always "offers" but he knows I'll do it.

@Cherrybee: well, all babies are different. Chloe started sleeping through the night (9pm-5am) at six weeks old. I thought I was so lucky! Then the four month sleep regression hit and it was harder than when she was a newborn. And then, when she was about six months old my husband went out of town for two weeks. Chloe had her nights and days mixed up, and I work from home. It was the most exhausting two weeks of my life.. And I wanted to punch everyone who told me she should be sleeping through the night.

Is it possible for your husband to give you *some* help? Like forego taking his sleeping pills one night, just so you can get an extra few hours of sleep? For instance, let's say you go to bed at 8pm and he's up with LO until midnight, then takes his sleeping pill. Is this an option for you?

@Cherrybee: my good friends son sleeps 7-7 too, and has since he was about 4 months. She follows Baby Wise very closely and it totally works for them, obviously, but it's not for me.

I was begging C to take a paci for months, because nothing soothed her, but I guess the upside is there is nothing to wean her from.

@Cherrybee: 1. I agree with your DH, it's so normal that she has never STTN. I think people who have a LO who did earlier/younger tend to shout it from the rooftops, whereas the rest of us are too tired (my LO never slept through until he did, just before 9 months).

2. I don't think you said, why *haven't* you put her to bed earlier, especially since you say she seems like she wants to?? My LO rarely "follows the rules" when it comes to sleep (or anything else) but I will say, an earlier bed time always makes us all happy. It has moved back and forth slowly as his naps evolve, but whenever I'm in doubt, I put him in earlier, and he always surprises me by falling asleep faster.

I know I've said this to others, but if you feel in your heart she's hungry, she probably is. I am definitely NOT in the "baby is 5 months/20 lbs/whatever, clearly they're waking out of habit" camp. I'd be pissed as hell if someone else told me I wasn't hungry when I am, as an adult She's probably almost to the age where she can reinsert her own paci, I think, we have a thumbsucker here so I don't know from experience.

I agree with@scg00387: why haven't you tried putting her to bed earlier?? If she's tired se might be overtired and that might be what's waking her up.

Have you tried gradually decreasing the amount of oz she gets in each night feeding?

Is she able to put her paci back in? If not I have heard this usually happens by 7 months...up to you if you want to wait it out til then or paci wean (we chose to wean).

Hugs mama! My Lo didnt sleep thru the night til 13.5 months...it was a long road!

You don't want much advice from me, after reading your first two paragraphs but I still wanted to offer my support and sympathy.

I feel for you on the multiple wake ups, the horrible four month sleep regression, and being the only one who handles nighttime. Also, my LO just turned eight months and has never STTN, but that's not helpful to you! (((Hugs)))

Maybe try the water in the bottle thing (see if she refuses, dot actually let her have too much water although I doubt one bottle of water would hurt..) or giving the paci instead of a bottle and/or forcing the dropped feed for a night (not all at once just trying the paci and going longer) and seeing if she eats more in the day. Sort of like a reset. Also minimize distractions during the day! If you get her to the point where she's maybe just waking once to eat if she is still waking all the time for a paci or soothing then maybe you can think about sleep training. It sounds for now more like "reverse cycling," which I know is a term used for bf babies but nonetheless...

We were in the exact same boat and sleep trained at 4 1/2 months!

Here's what I'd try:

1) I think it's easier to get rid of the pacifier before object permanence hits. We kind of did it on the fly...I was SO sick of them waking up and getting out of bed just so I could shove a piece of plastic in their mouth, and I knew it was the ONLY reason they were waking! So one night -- actually it was their five-month birthday -- I put them to bed with the pacis. When they started crying, we shifted into a full-blown CIO (we did it with checks). They were done with the paci's the next day! No object permanence = what's gone is GONE FOREVER!

2) 'Ya may not want to hear it, but I think you may have more success with an earlier bedtime/earlier wake time. It sucked for us at first, because I LOVE to stay up late and sleep in, but I honestly think babies are really in tune with circadian rhythms and sunrise/sunset. (I have come to this conclusion after daylight saving/standard time changes have turned our lives into living hell!)
Anyway, at around 6 months, we started doing a 7pm bedtime, which equals a 6am wake time in this house. Basically we go to sleep before 8:30 most nights now and occasionally wake up before the morning news. We're cool like that now.

3) If she's taking her bedtime bottle at 5:30pm, maybe aim to do bath and story right after that? When we sleep trained, we got rid of the "nurse-to-sleep" affiliation and started putting them into their cribs awake. Yup...more CIO, but it helped a ton.

4) For nighttime waking, we did two things:
#1 - DREAMFEEDS. Basically, you sneak into the room like a bottle-wielding ninja about 2.5 hrs after they fall asleep and feed them IN THEIR SLEEP. This basically puts the first night-feeding on your terms. Dreamfeeds saved my butt, since I, too, was/am kind of on my own at night. (To his credit, DH does wake up. But he takes between 5-10 minutes before he'll move and occasionally falls asleep to the sound of the babies' screaming, in-tandem, at level 4 on the monitor during his "wake up process." (WTF.) This annoys me to no end, so I usually just end up dealing with the situation myself to avoid becoming homicidal against my DH, who I normally love to the ends of the Earth.) Anyway, the Dreamfeeds helped them stretch their next feeding to 3am, then eventually 4 and then 5am. And I actually enjoyed doing them, because it was so peaceful to sit there in the dimly-lit room and, essentially, watch them sleep while they nursed. It was my little pre-bedtime ritual.
We ditched Dreamfeeds cold-turkey at about 8.5 months when they were clearly getting enough calories during the day between formula and solid foods, and we have never looked back!
#2: CIO...kinda. I let each of them show me how long they could go without a feeding, and then that was their new limit. If Cole slept for 6 hours between feedings at night, then I knew he COULD do it. That became the new time when I would draw-the-line, (i.e., if he went until 3am at least once or twice, then I knew he was entirely capable of doing it, and I'd make him CIO until 3am from then on). Harsh? Maybe. But over the space of a week, both twins stretched their MOTN feedings from 2am until almost 5am.
#3 - Once both babies were somewhat night-weaned (around 4.5 months/after sleep training),we set a limit of 5am. Until that time, they weren't coming out of their room. If there was a 4 in front of the number, we treated it like a night waking, and they had to CIO. At almost 13 months, DD still wakes around 5:45-6am, (I've read a lot, and my conclusion is that 6am is pretty normal for babies). But if she's happy and just sitting there babbling, I'll make her stay in the room for up to 20-30 minutes while I have my well-deserved cup of coffee!
#4 - For me, it wasn't a choice...during night feeds, I put my babies into their Boppy pillows and fed them on the floor with one bottle in each hand. THAT SAID, I've talked to a number of Moms of both singletons and twins, and we all think that the Boppy pillows helped make the MOTN feedings kind of sterile for the babies: they got zero cuddle time, the lights were off, and I kept them swaddled with the noise machine on full blast. Most of Moms probably do Dreamfeeds in the rocker while holding their babies, which is probably better for bonding. But a BIG part of me thinks that the Boppy feedings may have made the MOTN feeding SO un-rewarding that they just decided it was easier to learn to self-soothe. (Which goes back to getting rid of the pacifiers, if you think about it...but that's kind of meta and too much for a "quick" post!).

Anyway, GL! And sorry for the long post!

Hugs. I would have hoped my LO would be consistently STTN by now, but at 11 months, she still has 1 MOTN wake up, but I don't think the 2 feeding wake ups are your issue. The other paci wake ups are. I never sleep trained but I agree with PPs that say to try putting her to sleep earlier and looking into some sleep training to get rid of the paci so she can self soothe. I bet once she can get rid of those wake ups that don't actually require you, the feeding wake ups will be cake.

@Cherrybee: sorry hun, that night schedule sounds rough I haven't read through all of the responses--but i'm guessing the issue is the dummy. It might be hard initially, but can you try and wean from the dummy and see if she will suck her thumb instead? I kind of think she needs something to self-soothe on before you attempt to sleep train. That's what I told myself before we did some light training with S once she turned 3mths. Once I knew she could consistently soothe with her thumb, we let her cry for up to 10mins at a time to put herself to sleep and for naps. Turns out she was ready and on day 2 and since there has been NO crying.

Mine are 6.5 months and don't come close to STTN, so not all babies do at that age! It sucks, I think some pacifier sleep training would be worthwhile and then you can start to work on the night feeds in a bit...

C has a lovey (A&A security blanket) that she rubs on her face and sucks on as she is settling herself. If you decide to paci wean, I would recommend that. I also keep her nails really short but she does still manage to scratch her face once in a while. Right now she has a tiny scab on her nose that looks like a nose ring piercing.

I have no advice, just sympathy. 9 months and DS still has two night feedings. About a month ago it got better and he was only getting up once. Then he got a cold and everything went downhill.

We did do some sleep training (CIO with checks) at about 6.5 months. This was just to get him to go to sleep on his own. We also don't get him out of bed before midnight if he wakes up, unless there is an obvious problem. I also try to wait 5-10 min before going to get him as sometimes he will just go back to sleep. Again his depends how he wakes up. If he is screaming, I go right to him.

@Cherrybee: if she's just fussing, I would absolutely leave her for 10 minutes and see if she falls asleep again. Fussing it out is totally normal in my book and the first step toward more intense training. Good luck mama!

@Cherrybee: do you think if you managed to cut out the paci wakeups you'd be more ok with the 2 wakeups to eat? because I think at that age, those are still very normal...but combined with the million other paci wakeups you must be going crazy! i would definitely try letting her fuss a bit without it, or try weaning from it.

My 2 cents, from a kiddo who slept pretty crappily til 5-6 months. EARLY BEDTIME! Seriously, for months and months and months, Colin went to bed at 5:30, 6 pm at the latest. It felt ridiculous, and stuck for me to be trapped at home so early in the evening, but it made a huge difference.

Also, I would just be more vigilant about trimming those baby finger nails, and then let her hands be free to learn to reinsert that paci. I kid you not when I say that I would keep 8 of them in the crib, so C could always find one, once he could insert it himself (which happened faster once they were constantly within reach. We used a breathable bumper so they wouldn't fall out of the crib.

Also, pitch black and constant white noise all night long helped a lot too.

Good luck Cherrybee - hugs to you!!!

@Cherrybee: I would definitely let her fuss for 5-10 min and see how that goes.

This baby sleep is so tricky. DS now goes to bed around 6-6:30. Until about 6 months he went to bed around 9 or do, then he just kept making it earlier. We do bath time at 5:30, which seems crazy.

We are all here for you when you need to get it out in the middle of the night.