So I live in TN and my whole family and my in-laws are in MA. I'm supposed to fly home in two weeks for my baby shower. As some of you may know I was in the ER last week with some pre term contractions. They seem to be under control with medicine and modified bed rest (basically I'm allowed to go to work but that's it. For evenings and weekends I'm on bed rest). I had a Dr's appointment today and I asked about flying home for the shower. My doctor basically said she would leave it up to me, but she didn't feel comfortable saying that I can absolutely go because I'm still so close to the episode of contractions and she would hate to have something happen in the air. I could tell that part of her hesitation was just covering her own butt (she even said, "I can't tell you it's fine for you to go and then have you sue me if something bad happens"). But I also feel like if she's hesitating at all I don't want to chance it because if something bad did happen I would never forgive myself. I do feel like if we're going to cancel we should do it sooner rather than later to give people the courtesy of plenty of notice so they can decide to either not buy a gift, or to have one shipped. I would hate for lot of people to buy gifts and have them wrapped and ready to go and then we cancel last minute and they have to figure out what to do with their present. I know everyone will understand that baby and my health come first, but I still want to be as considerate as possible. What would you do?? HELP!
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How long is the flight? An hour or so?
If you're feeling okay now and don't have any issues within the next 2 weeks, I would probably go, but take it easy.
I definitely wouldn't fly more than 2 hours though. -
I'd cancel and offer to fly out with the baby later on for a "meet the baby/shower" afterwards.
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I would probably just reschedule for a time for after the baby is born. I know this kind of stinks, but as someone who cut it too close and had my kiddo six weeks early (and had my shower while he was still in the NICU), I wouldn't chance it!
I'm also not a risk taker at all....
BUT I would say, I felt like I KNEW he was going to come early and got in several fights with my hubs about it b.c I was still traveling for work and I thought he should stop. So I would go with your gut.
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I wouldn't go. Better safe than sorry. It sucks.... but I'd just worry too much.
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@chopsuey119: Flight is about 2 hours and 15 minutes in the air. Doc said the air time is the only time she would worry about me because she knows once I land I'm in Boston and near some of the best hospitals in the country.
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I would cancel, personally...I am in the school of better safe than sorry. Disclaimer: I HATE showers and can't decide if I even want to have one when the time comes!
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I'd stay home...It's not just the time in the air, it's also potential delays, travel to and from the airport, just too much moving around given what's occurred.
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@MamaMoose: I had bleeding during the first 2 trimesters of my pregnancy with LO. I felt good though and flew to see family when I was 20 weeks along since it would be a long while before I could fly back. The plane ride and visit weren't stressful and I was fine.
I just came back from another visit with family and OMG. It was so exhausting and stressful (~4 hours each way with a toddler on my lap while 23 weeks pregnant). All is well though.
If you don't feel comfortable flying, then I would cancel the flight. Go with your gut. Both time I felt like flying/visiting would be fine, so I did it.
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I agree with the pps . . . I wouldn't chance it. I might feel (slightly) differently if your Doc didn't have you on meds and modified bedrest, but ultimately, if it were my decision, I would cancel.
Also, in addition to the flight, travel is extra wear and tear (and stress!) on your body. And if anything were to happen, you wouldn't be at *home.*
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I also wanted to say I am pretty sure my mother would forbid me to come anyway.
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I wouldn't risk it, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something did happen & I'm sure they would all understand that your and baby's health is most important!
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I think I'm just going to go ahead and cancel. I'm really really bummed to do it but I think it's the right decision.
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@looch: Normally my mom would be like this too. But I think she's feeling really sad because she missed her own baby shower because my brother came early so she was really looking forward to hosting mine. But we'll just do something at home after the baby comes.
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Maybe they can skype you a shower?
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hmm....most registries will ship gifts for free to the registrant....and people should understand anyways! Baby's health comes first:)
I wouldn't go but i'd go after baby was born and do a welcoming party for baby.
It's not just the flight that is the issue...can you imagine how hectic packing and visiting and going about are going to be when your on a quick trip home like that? You'll be doing something everyday you're there:/ -
I had a friend who was in the hospital from Month 5 and she ended up having a skyped baby shower. The hostess had the computer set up and let people come and talk to her and she even 'opened' some presents! It was cute and a good way for her to have a shower when she couldn't leave the hospital at all.
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I'm on the side of better safe, but I also think you can do something fun on that day instead: still have the gathering (if the host is willing), and Skype in and show off the nursery, play some silly games, hoard boxes until then and open them via Skype etc. Stay safe, but still have the fun and don't waste a good party! Maybe you can even have a (small) group over to your place to join you in person, too.
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I think the skyped shower won't work because my mon was going to be putting a fair amount of money into the event so it makes more sense to just post pone and have a party after baby so I can be there. A lot of people were going to be revel from NJ/NY to be there so it would be a lot to ask them to do that and not get to see me. The good news is my boss is throwing me a shower in TN so I'll still get the experience.
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If you're significantly worried, I'd just postpone. People will understand!
I found out I couldn't fly out to my shower the day before it was scheduled to take place...I had my bag with me at the doctor's office because I was going to head to the airport after. Ugh. The shower was at a fairly inexpensive venue, though, and everyone attending except for me was local. My dad set up Skype, like some others have mentioned, and it was nice to be able to participate on that level, but if I had had enough notice to reschedule, I think I would have done so.
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