I'm curious to hear what maternity leave was like with your second, especially if you kept LO1 in daycare/preschool. I have these visions of it being relaxing and having all this free time but I don't know if that's realistic! My mat leave with #1 was stressful and overwhelming mainly bc I had no idea what I was doing...
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It was awesome!
The hardest part that we didn't really anticipate was getting her up and out the door in the morning. I thought I would just be up and able to help DH. But really, the baby was getting up at like 5 am to nurse and then he would go back down with his longest stretch of sleep until like 8 or 9. So there was no way I was missing that sleep to get up at 6:30 am to help them leave for school. DH stepped up big time. She would watch tv and eat her breakfast while he packed up and got dressed. They woke around 6:30 and left by 7:15. He also brought her home from school which meant I really never had to leave the house if I didn't want to. I tried to do my best to help with dinner prep as I was able.
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It was relaxing and wonderful. I think because I was less stressed/worried/ect. being she was #2, I enjoyed my maternity leave a lot more than I did with #1 due to FTM jitters. Also, LO2 was such a good baby and a spring baby we were able to get out of the house more than LO1 who was a late fall baby and it was cold.
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Good question!!
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i have the same vision as you do!
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It was definitely better the 2nd time around, mostly because I had an easy 2nd baby who slept all the time until she was 3.5 months!
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I have a long leave and both of them at home, but whenever I have just the baby for any reason, it's SO EASY. I find it difficult to have sympathy for anyone with just one kid anymore, lol.
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It was lovely...We kept our nanny and had her come M/W/Fr and DS went to preschool T/Th from 9-12. I was SO much more relaxed this time around (albeit, just as tired) and I really felt like I enjoyed DD and her newborn phase much more than DS because I was less anxious and had a lot more help. I napped when I needed to and didn't feel the slightest bit guilty about it this time
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I stay home so it's not the same, but it's not very relaxing
One or the other always needs mummy and I am cleaning up so.much.poop!!! A isn't in preschool but we try have play dates at least every other day, daily of possible. Now I have the hang of getting everything ready as soon as I get up, we stand a chance of leaving the house on time. Caffeine is my best friend. Having good mummy friends has been so important too. If M is in daycare, you might find it more relaxing though. I found learning how to get everyone fed, dressed, packed and out the door by far the hardest thing.
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Great question. I am currently expecting #2 and have told DH that we will be leaving DD in Daycare during Maternity Leave for a couple reasons 1) she loves it 2) I'd like to keep her life as uninterrupted as possible and 3) I want to give LO#2 the same quality bonding time DD had.
I'm worried about mornings as I do drop off and p/u right now. Hopefully LO#2 will be as awesome of a baby as DD was!
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It is more relaxing to a certain extent (my first is in daycare and the second one home). But you are also more bound in a certain way because I have to pick LO1 up from daycare get dinner ready etc. which I didn't have to do with my first so I was more flexible in how I structured my day. (For example no 5-7pm stroller walks this time). But as for how to actually care for baby - that was way easier the second time around.
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I have my first at home and it's been awesome. It took a while to figure out the routine but it's been a ton of fun for us all. It's made me seriously consider becoming a SAHM.
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@travelgirl1: my sister always said the same thing about getting out the door, it was her biggest challenge with 2 kids.
I guess my leave won't be all relaxing because I only plan to have LO1 in preschool 3 days a week, the other 2 days i will need to work on this routine and getting ready thing, which seems to take a while still with just a toddler!
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Freaking. Glorious.
I'm not even kidding. It was only stressful for a couple of weeks, because figuring out BFing, etc was a hassle. He got thrush, had his tongue clipped, etc, and took us a few weeks/a month to get settled. But it wasn't a big OMG freak out. I just knew that we would take care of it and it would be ok (totally a second time mom thing, btw! It's so nice to not be freaking out about every little thing that happens with your kid because you've been there done that!).
On leave, I watched lots of tv, got the entire house organized during his naps (i'm not even kidding. Every closet, cupboard, etc has been cleaned out. I threw out so much trash and clutter!), was able to work out pretty frequently, and I ran errands no problem, which made life easier for Dh, too (he took on a management role while i was on leave, so his stress level and hours of working skyrocketed)...and life for me was mostly non stressful. Dinner was always on the table, and mornings were not as scary as I thought they were going to be. I figured out a routine and then we were set. We also potty trained E during the time I was on leave, which was stressful for a couple weeks but not the nightmare it could've been! Same for moving her to a big girl bed. And now it's done! But, T is a very chill and not screamy baby. I wore him a lot and that enabled me to do dishes, etc. When he needed to be fed, it was time to catch up on a show or read a book. Towards the end of my leave, he stopped napping so well without being held, but I had had a golden 8 week window where he would take long naps without me and I could mosey around the house and do things. I sewed some clothes for him and E, too. I kept E in daycare 5x/week because I didn't want to mess up her routine just for a few months, then put her back in full time. I actually felt refreshed going back to work, because I'd had a mini stay-cation to myself. I get less sleep now that I'm working, but that's ok.
I totally stressed myself out that leave with #2 was going to be hectic and crazy and it was anything but. So, sometimes it's pretty gravy.
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@T.H.O.U.: that's a good point- getting up with LO1 and getting her ready might be tough after being up with the baby
@LuLu Mom: that's awesome, hoping for the same experience!
@lamariniere: good to hear
@Rockies11: haha! I always hear people say that so I'm totally nervous for how 2 are going to be!!
@bushelandapeck: I'm also hoping to enjoy the newborn period more, I hated it and was so stressed with M
@travelgirl1: @oliviaoblivia: yea having both home does sound hard, but I'm sure it's also a lot of fun!!
@Mrs D: yea I also do all drop offs and pick ups too...so that might be a challenge, but I have the same reasons as you about wanting to keep LO1 in daycare
@Pumuckl: that makes sense, good to know!
@californiadreams: ugh yea mornings are so hard for us now, I'm dreading it with 2! She seems to move so slow and it takes forever to leave...
@blackbird: haha this is awesome, totally what I am imagining so I hope I have the same experience! I feel like I will be able to clean and organize the entire house, relax and read books, go for walks and just have a little vacation lol. We'll see!
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@hellobeeboston: @californiadreams: hopefully it's like this for all of us!
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@blackbird: this gives me hope!!!!!
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Maternity leave #2 was super relaxing. LO 1 was in daycare FT for the first month and a half before we switched to PT for the rest of my leave.
I had lots of bonding time with the baby, did stuff around the house, cooked a lot, met up with friends, watched a lot of TV and enjoyed time with both kids! -
I'm on maternity leave now, and I can't say it's super relaxing because I have a toddler at home (daycare is near my work, which is a 1 hour commute away, so continuing her while I'm on leave was not possible).
The sleep deprivation is tough again, because my newborn is up most of the night, but then sleeps like a champ during the day--but during the day, my toddler is up.
Luckily, I've had a good amount of help from my mom and my inlaws just arrived, so they are willing to watch the baby for an hour or two while I take the toddler to the park--but I'm definitely busy all.day.long.
No relaxing, or reading, or netflix shows over here. I'm generally doing the same as ever--3 meals a day and two outings a day for the toddler, plus all the BFing and diaper changing and soothing of the infant.
It's fine though--I don't have the pressure I had the first time to "do" something with the baby all the time. I basically just let her do nothing all day. I figure being alive and having her sister all up in her face every day is stimulation enough.
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So far (six weeks in) it's kind of more stressful. I had a real easy recovery and managed to avoid a few dumb mistakes I made with my first, but DD is a very sensitive baby and just harder to keep happy than DS was at that age. If she's awake and not eating, she's usually screaming bloody murder. She's just starting to calm down a bit now... I think.
I'm curious, for those who keep older kids in day care, how did you explain this to them and keep them from getting jealous? DS is marched off to day care every morning, whether or not he wants to, and I feel awful about it. I was home alone with both kids twice so far and neither of them got decent sleep or attention, but everyone survived... I'm not sure if that's really better than day care every day.
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It's been so much easier and relaxed this time around! I had the same experience the first time around due to the time of year (Nov baby) and being a first time mom trying to figure everything out for the first time.
This time, DS has been at home so far (he starts preschool next week!), and I've loved having the time to bond with both of them. I've been able to keep up with house work, do small projects here and there, and see friends when the time allows, I've even gotten in a solid gym schedule so far (6 weeks pp).
I think it's a combination of me being more relaxed, having a warm season baby, a great pp recovery, and my body being used to the lack of sleep and still being able to function! As well as a pretty easy going second baby and a toddler who's really independent.
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I am a WAHM and DS only recently started FT daycare. I think it was fine. Both kids were home but that gave lots of bonding time. DD was dream baby and amazing sleeper, so it was super easy.
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@Mama Bird: My first loves company so he never had any issue going to daycare. He was never jealous of the baby staying home. So for him his routine continued pretty much as normal.
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I found it much more enjoyable but I was still super busy. My mom helped everyday - she watched DS1 before the baby was born so she stayed "on the job." I often left the baby with her and went and did fun things with my toddler. I feel like I got to enjoy both boys on my maternity leave.
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I'm 11 weeks in with #2 and it is super relaxing. When I'm home alone with baby everything feels super chill, even when he's screaming. He nurses all the time so really there's a lot of TV and HB.
Things get more stressful at 5 when I strap LO2 in and walk to get DD from daycare. We go to a park, come home, make dinner, eat, and double bedtime. It's kind of a slog but it's the only time I spend with LO1 so I enjoy it a lot. Nights still suck. Weekends are chaos since everyone is vying for attention and I do not get one moment to myself. (I realize that will be my new normal soon).
@Mama Bird: My DD (2.5) doesn't seem to care that DS stays home with me. She's never asked to stay home. She loves daycare though. I think she's going to be much more jealous when DS goes to daycare with her.
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@oliviaoblivia: I'm going to be making the opposite switch shortly after lo is born (to WOH) but I'm glad it's going well with your first at home, since unless dd gets to start part time preschool she will be home too. And even if she does start it'll only be part time!
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@autumnlove: that sounds perfect, I may even drop LO1 down to PT once I have a few weeks at home to settle
@Anagram: yea, I can definitely imagine having the toddler home would make things way tougher...but it sounds like you are all doing well and that's great you have lots of help! That's so important, esp with 2
@Mama Bird: that's how my first LO was, it was so hard
I am just praying baby boy is a much happier baby but I know it's 50/50! I have the same worries about sending my oldest to daycare while I stay home with the baby, I'm hoping wording it like "you get to play with your friends all day Snd have fun, baby brother is too little, he has to stay home for a bit" and seeing how that goes...@mrsjyw: that sounds awesome, best of both worlds!
@BandDmommy: good to hear!
@Mamasig: I so wish my mom could just stay with us the entire time...we will prob only get a week with her, but it'll still be helpful none the less!
@Corduroy: yea I imagine nights and weekends being the toughest in the beginning...
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Didn't read all of the above, but mine was awesome! So much easier the second time around...being a seasoned momma helps! LO2 was a pretty good sleeper too so that helped. My older kiddo was 20 mo and I kept in daycare 3 days/week (usually full-time). Was a perfect balance for me. Gave me extra time with my older kiddo and an excuse to get out of the house on the days I had him with me. Newborns can be boring so it broke it up a bit, but I had plenty of time alone with the newborn too. It was also April and May so a nice time of year to get out for walks, etc.
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This thread makes me optimistic! I'm totally picturing a relaxing leave this time around, especially the 3x a week C will be in daycare. I might be in for a rude awakening but I know I will be a lot less stressed this time around!
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I was SAH and T went to school 2 days a week as usual. The days he was home with us were extremely chaotic! The days with just R were soooo easy the first 3 or so months! I was so much more relaxed (but way more sleep deprived!)
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I had both kiddos with me because our nanny moved away, so we decided to save $ and hire a new one to start at the end of my maternity leave. Some days have been hard, and I certainly have not watched any TV (except occasional Disney Junior) overall I have so enjoyed being home with my toddler. I wish I could be a SAHM.
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I thought the same thing, but my nearly 3 week old has terrible colic/reflux issues sooooo I spend my days so far trying to get her to stop crying. I do hope it improves soon though!!
One or the other always needs mummy and I am cleaning up so.much.poop!!! A isn't in preschool but we try have play dates at least every other day, daily of possible. Now I have the hang of getting everything ready as soon as I get up, we stand a chance of leaving the house on time. Caffeine is my best friend. Having good mummy friends has been so important too. If M is in daycare, you might find it more relaxing though. I found learning how to get everyone fed, dressed, packed and out the door by far the hardest thing.
I am just praying baby boy is a much happier baby but I know it's 50/50! I have the same worries about sending my oldest to daycare while I stay home with the baby, I'm hoping wording it like "you get to play with your friends all day Snd have fun, baby brother is too little, he has to stay home for a bit" and seeing how that goes...Reply
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