Hellobee Boards

Well I was an only child but I was treated like the baby and display most of those traits. Most people categorize onlys to be like the oldest but its just as easy for them to be treated like the baby since they are essentially both the oldest and the baby.

I was the middle of 3 girls.

I was definitely the outcast, forgotten middle child

I was the first born and the only girl. I definitely display some tendencies of the first born. We are treated differently in some regards but most of the different-ness is just due to my parents learning what didn't work with me and that makes me proud to have them to look up to. I had a little more responsibility and I am far more independent but otherwise, everything was prettypretty even at our house.

I was raised as the oldest (come to find out I have older brother/sister but that's another story). Anyway, it is a lot of pressure to lead, protect, be responsible for the younger. I do think you have first hand adult attention and special experiences the younger doesn't get. For example, the younger is expected to pick up a lot on his/her own or from big brother and sister whereas I think the oldest gets a patient explanation because it is the parent's first go around.
Again, that's generalizing because sometimes some parents are much more level headed with the second one and the first one, they are struggling to keep it together. I think it depends. Seems more fun to be the youngest but then again, I think it's just grass is greener mentality.

@808love: Im an only like stated before but I have 2 of my own so it is interesting to the see the dynamic and how my DH do treat them a little differently because of their age difference obviously. The biggest thing I have come to realize is that socially my son has to navigate it all on his own. We of course help him along but like in pre-school he has to learn how to act and be with other kids and since he was an only child for much longer its all very new for him. His sister will always have the benefit of his knowledge. When she enters school she will already have been around another child her whole life making it easier I think for her to share and act around other kids (less hitting etc because this is already addressed at home) Also her brother will always be there to inform her of things directly and indirectly as they age since he will have gone through everything years before her. Growing up as an only I always had to navigate alone as well but never passed on my experiences since there was no one else. I remember running into so many social things that other kids knew of because they grew up with other kids that I never knew. Knowing this I try to arm my son with as much extra knowledge as I can as he grows but I realize my daughter wont need it as much as she will naturally pick up on a lot at home with her brother as is. Its very interesting I think, birth order and how it effects your life.

@JennyPenny: Yes that could be why indeed. Inherently they probably always knew how to be better friends because Im sure your parents would have made sure they played well with you and their other siblings and tried to hammer out any bad behavior (hitting, biting, etc) as soon as it happened vs when you were younger and they never had to address those issues because you didnt have to share or deal with another child. My son didnt act aggressively ever until he started school when I realized he never had to before among adults but now other kids were touching "his toys" and in his space. My daughter has never had a toy that was soley hers as her brother is into everything she is and she never has as much personal space because he is around always. There are pros and cons to both but socially I anticipate it will be easier for my daughter going to school, easier for her and easier for us discipline wise as well.

@Mrs. Chocolate: I am super independent and am comfortable with authority. So in that way, I fit in with the grown ups. That's pretty insightful that the youngers have never been alone and are raised sharing and therefore adapt in peer relationships pretty easily.