Hellobee Boards

My parents were going to come up and they were going to stay in a hotel. I didn't want any overnight visitors, period. No, no, no.

Inlaws and out of town visits caused a huge mess of problems when they visited LO at 3 weeks old. This was the first visit where they didn't stay, hell, first time they visited us in our condo since we married 3 years earlier. Suddenly they took interest in us once LO arrived.

We asked them to stay in a hotel, etc. MIL booked a house which happened to have bedbugs. They had to relocate for the night, etc. Their first day here was a mess. We spent that looking for a hotel for them with MIL laying on the guilt heavy about not letting 3 people overtake our house with a 3 week old infant and new parents. They found lodging eventually after a couple of other hotel disasters-all brought on by her.

Long story short, we didn't have the space or the ability to accommodate them. We got a lot of shit for not letting them stay with us. If your family is amenable and respectful, they'll do fine with a hotel. MIL stayed with us a month later for a week. We've been in counseling since that visit. She's no longer allowed to stay with us after that.

Nobody will be staying with us because we don't have the room. I think my Dad and stepmom will be getting a hotel and staying for a few days, and I'm not sure what the ILs plan on doing. I know my FIL can't take a lot of time off of work, so he may just drop MIL at a hotel or my in-town BIL's house and she might stay for a few days. My mom can only come if it's on a weekend, which is BS, but that's a whole nother story

My mom came for two weeks when my son was about 5 weeks old, she stayed in the guest/nursery room, as LO was still bunking with us. My dad surprised me and came along for the weekend as well, I was so shocked to see him.

It worked out well for us, my mom helped with laundry, cooking and she even watched LO for us so we could go out for Mexican food one night.

My parents stayed with us. I loved it. They were there while we were still in the hospital, so we came home to a spotless house. They did tons of laundry, helped out a ton with LO... And they stayed up with her in that late night awake stretch so we could get some sleep. I cried like a baby when they left. It still makes me sad

No advice, but I'm so afraid of this myself. Especially since ILs would expect to stay at our house and be here for the birth Somewhat hoping that my SIL gets pregnant at the same time so they go to her instead...

@grizz: 15 hour drive here! Luckily we get to see them every other month, or so. You won't have to entertain them... I promise, there will be enough to keep everyone busy :). I'm sure they'll be happy to hold your LO while you have a break or nap... Or they'll be happy to take on themselves! To be honest, I don't understand why people don't want their moms/sisters around pp if they have a good relationship and the person is considerate. I seriously can't stress enough how helpful it was to have my mom and dad here. They went above and beyond to help is out, and it was really nice to have my mom around since she had experienced it all before. We didn't really have a relationship where we discussed nitty gritty body stuff, but that all went out the window when I was in so much pain and had no clue what was happening to my body.

We did not have anyone stay with us. Even though LO was still sleeping in our room and the futon/guest bed is in the nursery we were using it for changes and were all over the house at all hours.
My MIL/FIL live 3 hours away. We told them we would call during labor at some point so they could drive up and check into their hotel, then we would call when the baby was born and again when we were ready to have visitors at the hospital. They left the next day after some more visiting and returned a week later for 3 days (long weekend). They rented a B&B cottage. They asked us what time was good to come over in the morning, stayed and visited for a while through lunch, left in the afternoon to give us a break, and then we did dinner together and hung out more until they went back to their place to go to sleep. They entertained themselves by having leisurely breakfasts and enjoying a 'vacation' (reading, napping, whatever).
My parents live 10 hours away and we scheduled them to come for a long weekend when LO was just shy of a month old (I do wish it was sooner and that they could have stayed longer but it is more difficult for my dad to take off work). They also stayed at a B&B cottage. They came over and we just hung out at my house and did a lot of nothing. My dad grilled burgers for us and washed my car. When she wasn't holding the baby my mom compulsively cleaned our house (I couldn't have stopped her if I tried). Aside from just hanging around our house, we took LO to the B&B one night and had dinner there, and also went out to our first meal at a restaurant while they were in town.
I was really worried about all of it, but in the end our families were respectful and gave us plenty of space to do our thing in the evenings and the mornings. We are very lucky though and have flexible and understanding parents who let us decide what we were comfortable with.

@Foodnerd81: I don't mean witnessing the birth itself, but I think they expect to be in the waiting room like they were for their first 2 grandkids. I don't mind that so much as people staying at our house right after such a life changing experience! There would be no getting around it, they live quite far away. Trying not to worry about it until I actually get knocked up...

@Mrs. Champagne: It's tomorrow. Husband had our flight rescheduled wrong, so both of us are working from home today and tomorrow. LO is at daycare right now. We're picking him up early to go back to the doctor's. Poor dude woke up with puffy eyes and a continued cough. At least, we have another day or so to work on getting him well for a weekend with the inlaws.

DH wrote the email we talked about in counseling. I did my reply as well. It's progress especially after a tough couple of days where we were fighting non stop about issues with her and other stuff.