Hellobee Boards

For DH and I, our tipping point has always been our marriage relationship. If we're fighting or resentful or pissed off about something, we have to fix it because we cannot go on and be good parents or employees or friends to other people because we're doom and glooming about the other person. It actually forced us to change a lot of things about parenting and household balance stuff after our son was born because the plans we made with regards to certain parenting things just did NOT work for our marriage.

Depends on what the issues are I'm looking to change and my long and short game. Sometimes being unhappy/overworked/overtired in the short term means a better long term.

My tipping point was LO's health. He was FTT when I returned to work and refused bottles. No way was I going to risk his health for anything.

DH was comfortable in a dead end job for wayyyyy too long and so overqualified. It took them putting him on a performance review for him to get motivated about finding something else.

I often think that I come across as pathologically dissatisfied; it seems I'm always moaning about something. But its because my tipping point is simply not feeling happy or my LO/DH not being happy. If I'm not happy, then something needs to change. These days, I have other priorities to consider above my own happiness - LO's long term well being etc - so some things cant be changed on a whim (eg I can't just quit my job because we need my wage), so then I have to work out what, specifically, I'm struggling with and try to remedy that.

My tipping point would be going to the office everyday and dreading it. I've had that feeling before and I refuse to do that again. While I may have some struggles balancing parenting and working, I look forward to the challenges of my job and genuinely love what I do every day. If I didn't, I'd change it.

I think if the stress of work was seriously impairing my health or the health of my family. Or maybe if I was treated really badly and there was just no way I could win the fight (like some of the sexual harassment horror stories you hear about...) I'm willing to have things suck in the short-run to make them better in the long-run, but need to know its not permanent and have some confidence that it's likely to pay off in the long-run.

We kind of got there recently with where we live. I've never loved this area, I moved here for work. And the weather the past few years has been so tough. The cost of living is high, the commute is terrible. I also miss living near my parents. So last month when we were visiting them we finally said lets just move here. We still have a ways to go because our house needs to appreciate more. But I got tired of constantly being frustrated by where we live. So now we're making concrete plans for a change.

My mental health. Years ago when I was still young and single in my very first job I finally realized how horrible the job made me feel. I dreaded going in every day and was getting very depressed. So I found a new, much better job and quit with no notice (I was an at will employee). Absolutely no regrets and the new job literally changed my life (ended up meeting my DH there).

I didn't respond to the last thread, but like everyone, I struggle with balance. I need a lot of downtime as an introvert, and it's really hard to find that with a kid who doesn't go to bed until after 9, a full time job that requires me to be "on" pretty much all day, a long commute and trying to be the best parent, person, etc. But it doesn't make me unhappy. I love my job and wouldn't give it up, but when it gets overwhelming, I try to build in time like today, to work at home so that I'm less "on." I neglect going to the gym and my own self care a lot (and I need to be better about that), but I always build in 15-30 minutes of reading time after LO is in bed. Husband and I have been pretty terrible at investing in our relationship, but now that LO is a little older, we've been trying to get out more. It's never perfect, and it's always a bit of a struggle, but I wouldn't categorize it as unhappiness. Though once it gets into that territory, it's time for a change.

I think my mental health, marriage and physical health would be 3 big things to signal that a change is needed for real.