I've noticed the past few times I've seen my sil, she buckles her dd into the car seat way too loosely - as in, you could probably fit at least 2 arms between the straps and the baby. 
I told dh about it but I'm not sure what to do without sounding like a know it all.
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This is a tough situation b/c you will probably offend her if you say something outright but it's a safety issue so you feel like you need to say something. I had a friend who was doing this, although maybe not as loose, but what I did was to help her get her son into his car seat and then tighten up the straps and make sure the chest buckle was in the correct spot. I think it helped her see how things should go. Are you able to jump in to "help" buckle in your niece?
Someone posed this exact question on one of my mommy FB boards not too long ago and there was a mix of answers running from who cares if you offend to don't say anything.
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If it wasn't a huge safety issue, I wouldn't worry but I'd feel so guilty if anything were to happen. I think it'd be awkward to put her in her seat because sil doesn't really let people hold her so I don't think I'd get the chance - although it's a great suggestion.
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How about if after putting her in the seat you say, "hey, do you want me to tighten the straps for you?"
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Maybe you can say something in terms of yourself instead of pointing out that SHE is doing it incorrectly. Like "OMG, so I just found out I've been buckling in my LO WAAAY too loosely in the car seat!!! Did you know that the straps are supposed to be so tight that you can only fit two fingers under them and you can't pinch them?? I had NO idea! Did you??" or something like that!
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Is SIL your DH's sister? If so, I'd just have him say something. I'd be annoyed if my brother's wife said something to me about it but if my brother was like "hey dumbo, this thing is way too loose!" I'd just roll my eyes and fix it.
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I don't really see this as a big deal.... maybe I'm too brash in real life. I would have just brought it up and said "hey that looks a little loose from what I was taught etc...".
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You could also maybe jump in while loading her in the car, tighten the straps, and say "Oh I went ahead and tightened the straps for you while you were putting XX in the trunk so you wouldn't have to do it!" It might need JUST the right situation, but make it as if you don't think she was doing something wrong- you just did it for her (like you assumed she would do it) to be helpful. Then you're not saying anyone's "wrong," you just are being "helpful," and hopefully that plants the seed.
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If it was me, I would want someone to straight out tell me. I wouldn't be offended, but tbh, I'd probably be irritated if you beat around the bush and did a sneaky tell me, if that makes sense.
BUT is it possible she is putting er in the seat and waiting to tighten it until they get in the car? C gets annoyed if se is strapped in tight before we are getting in the car an going so I wait until the last minute to tighten. Either way, if someone saw me with it loose and was like, are you going to tighten that in the car, because it looks too loose? I'd tell them yes but thank you for checking.
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I would probably say something like @Adira: said. It gives her the info without being confrontational. But I am a confrontation avoider!
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I would just be straight up, and deal with her potentially being pissed off at me. The kids safety is more important that her sensitivities, or my relationship with the Mom for that matter.
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I think @Freckles: 's approach is perfect! It's unassuming and casual, but still gets the point across.
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@gingerbebe: lol no it's dh's brother's wife. But dh could tell him.
@OpinionsLikeKittens: I wish I could be that way! I'm a weenie.
@Foodnerd81: this is baby #2 for her and I don't think I've ever seen them tight tbh.
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@Ash: I just saw this blog post come through my newsfeed today and thought of this thread. Maybe you could post it on your FB and she would see it? http://carseatblog.com/26763/carseatblog-quick-tip-proper-harness-tightness/
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@kiddosc: oh my! Thanks so much!
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I'd probably have DH talk to his brother or say something to them. I don't really care what my inlaws think about me being a know-it-all though
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I recently read a statistic that like 75% of carseats/safety belts for carseats are installed incorrectly. Maybe you could share this info with her just like you're having a conversation. Then maybe say we should take our cars up to the fire station. They'll check to make sure it's installed correctly. Then a 3rd party will tell her the straps are too loose.
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16 comments