Scenario : You find out your SO is cheating on you. You are married, have kids. What would you do?
Btw, this is purely hypothetical. Just curious.
Scenario : You find out your SO is cheating on you. You are married, have kids. What would you do?
Btw, this is purely hypothetical. Just curious.
41 votes
pomelo / 5789 posts
It would depend on the nature of the cheating ( one time vs long term) and whether he was willing to go to counseling. Hopefully we could work it out through counseling. If it happened a second time I'd be gone.
Hopefully this is just a hypothetical.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
It would TOTALLY depend on the {hypothetical} situation. If he was wholeheartedly repentant and wanted to stay with me and work toward reconciliation, I would work toward that with him, but I know that it would take a looooong time for me to trust or respect him again.
But if he wanted to maintain a relationship with said woman, there obviously isn't much I could do.
clementine / 889 posts
I would definitely go to counseling and try to make things work, but knowing myself, I don't know if I could get past it. I would not want to stay with DH if I was resentful and bitter. But I would do everything to try to get past it.
My sister divorced her first husband (who was an abusive, mean a$$hole). They had a child together and I see how she struggles with custody arrangements and not being with her child full time. For our son alone, I would do everything to make it work. I could not be without my son, so I don't what I would do.
grapefruit / 4006 posts
really depends on the nature of the cheating. if it is serious and involves a lot of emotional involvement along with the physical, it might be hard to fix the damage. if it was a one time thing solely for the physical aspect, i think it would be easier to get past it. i believe in second chances though. third and fourth chances? maybe not.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I can't tolerate lying. If my husband cheated and lied, I probably wouldn't be able to forgive him. If he cheated and told me about it, I could get past it (I think).
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
Sometimes unfortunately it's not cut and dry...even counseling doesn't always mean you'll stay together. Sometimes it works but only if both parties want it to. Close family member attempted counseling and her husband continued the affair. Really sad. They are divorcing. I don't think I'd know what to do until I was in that scenario.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I would start with counseling and if that didn't work I would consider divorce.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I think this is something you cant judge until you're in those shoes.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
@artbee: I totally agree. It's easy to say how you would react to something until it personally happens to you.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@artbee: I completely agree with you. My first thought would be "there's no way I'd stay" but there a whole other part to it. It's not as easy as it seems.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
For me, abuse is the only reason I would get a divorce. Everything else I would work through, with or without counseling. And to be fair (and DH knows this)--he doesn't have enough game to cheat on me if he wanted to.
I wouldn't allow him to use cheating as an excuse to get a divorce--we are in this through thick and thin!
But yes, @artbee is right, you can't tell until you;'re in those shoes (and I hope none of us is ever in them!)
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
As difficult as it would be for me, I'd have to leave him. Can't have a happy marriage without trust.
coconut / 8475 posts
What a HORRIBLE situation....I'd leave. Everything our marriage is based on: trust, monogamy, faith and love would be lost at that point. I wouldn't see a reason to stay at all.
I'd probably just pack and LEAVE and not get the actual divorce for awhile after. He might repent, we might go to counseling...who knows. But my initial reaction would be to take the kids and disappear for a little while at least.
*oh and I'd be an insane person. Like, those chicks that bust every window in the house before leaving....that might be me. Or his clothes would be sent to the salvation army and his bank accounts cleared before he even gets home from work that day. I always say i'd be classy about it but...who am I kidding? That's an extremely crappy situation that I wish on no one! Man or woman...or children.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
It would suck, but I'd probably leave. I would never be able to trust my SO again and I wouldn't want to live with that fear and worry constantly:
grapefruit / 4400 posts
@chopsuey119: @TurtleDoves: ditto with you gals! I'd leave, and not try to "work things out." Cheating = trust is gone.
Life is too short to stay in a bad marriage, kids or no kids. To me, the kids wouldn't affect my decision. I wouldn't want to stay "for the kids" because that is shitty in itself.
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