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Can you do 11 weeks and look for a new job while on maternity leave? 17 years is a long time.... and to be threatened with disciplinary action because you need time off to care for sick family???

Though I assume they need to treat everyone fairly and sweety that to you because of "policy".

@Ajsmommy: I thought FMLA gave you 12 weeks? Isn't that a law? Your company is saying you only get 8 weeks with FMLA?

@Ajsmommy: ah I see - man, that sucks

I think I would take the full leave and then hope for the best! If your LO gets sick can DH take off?

Ugh honestly we should all move to Canada where mommas have off for a year!! But this is such a personal choice and only you know what is best for you family.

With that being said, I personally, if it were me, I would do the 9 weeks with 8 days remaining or the 10 weeks with 3 days remaining. Reason being is because things happen and who knows if god forbid something happened and you needed all your days. One of your babes wakes up not feeling well, or just something off the wall happens preventing you from going to work.

It's soooo unfair but thankfully this isn't your first, not that this baby deserves any less time but you could always use those extra PTO days and use them from cuddle time if you feel like staying home with the baby. There is no easy answer. *HUGS* I hate that you're going through this. I've been there and it's awful!

@Ajsmommy: I was lucky and didn't have to take any sick days immediately after leaves. I was also lucky that I have a partner who can work from home occasionally. But, I will say it was really hard to wait to accrue vacation again after that. I was super burned out. Although since we'd spent those months with me unpaid or only partially paid, we didn't have the funds to take any trips anyway.

Either way, I completely understand your frustration. But I'd still take extra days with the baby over potential future sick days that may not materialize.

@MamaG: This! If you only take 11 weeks, that extra week may be able to be intermittent.

@Ajsmommy: you can use your 12 weeks of FMLA for the entire first year, so since you're only using 11 weeks of it, you'll have a week left to use. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your math, though.

If that's not accurate, I'd take more time with baby and just risk not having days you may or may not need for 2 months.

This seems to be more of an issue with your company policy than FMLA - I'd be pissed if my company made me completely exhaust my PTO before taking unpaid leave for FMLA, because that just seems like a shitty thing to do. Why in the world would they make that their company policy? I'd think it would encourage people to not come back to work after having kids. That being said, I agree with PPs who said to talk to your manager and explain that you're worried about having to go the first two months of daycare without being able to take time off. If it's a big company, chances are they've dealt with this in the past and will allow you make up time, not report absences as long as there's proper notification, etc.

@Ajsmommy: I would look into that more. I took some of my FMLA as intermittent leave because I WFH for the second half of my leave. I have about 3 weeks left that I can use (obviously unpaid) for sick baby, doctors appointments and basically just baby bonding time for no good reason.

ETA - just looked it up and apparently intermittent leave for baby bonding is at the employers discretion. Your employer sucks! I'd find a new job if that's how they're going to be after 17 years!!

So I think the running concurrent vacation/PTO and FMLA (and any STD and FMLA) is pretty standard. It sucks, but it is what it is.

I wonder how much 'wiggle room' their policy has. I can't imagine most employers would write up a 17-year employee for missing work with a sick newborn. I personally would take the 11 weeks and go back without any saved time and play it by ear.

Leave sucks so bad in this country. We shouldn't have to "apologize" for getting pissed about getting like 10 paid (or unpaid!) weeks off. It's all atrocious!

Oh and def find out about being written up. My company has a points policy for unexcused absences and you'd have to not show up for like 3 weeks in one year before you got fired. So, having a "ding" on your personal record (insert eye roll here) might not be a big deal if it happens.

Would your employer let you borrow against days you haven't earned yet if you needed them for a sick kid? I wiped out all of my days off with my leave when DS was born and when I needed extra days I was permitted to borrow against days that hadn't accrued yet. It took me awhile to get caught up but it all worked out.

My company's STD/ FML was similar. I had to use 5 days of PTO when the FML portion began, but had the option of going unpaid after that. Is your husband able to be the go to person for doctor visits or kid sick days for two months? If so, I would take the full 12 weeks off.

ETA: I know you're venting because your company has rules about PTO use with FML, but in all seriousness Mat Leave is not mandatory. If FML wasn't legislated companies wouldn't have to provide time off or job security. I don't know if L&D is even a legit disability to qualify in its own as STD.

This sounds so frustrating and like the policy is set up to basically encourage you to not take the 12 weeks you are afforded by FMLA. Especially with HR saying you" need to make the best decision with the information that [you] have" - doesn't that sound like they are indirectly suggesting you come back at 9 weeks so you have some time off banked?

It sounds like you really want to take 11 weeks, so I would do that and have faith that after 17 years as a faithful employee, if you or one of your kids gets sick and you have to take a day off, they will understand.

At a previous job, in certain circumstances were were allowed to "go into the red" with our PTO and then basically anything we accrued counted against that. So maybe if it comes to it, you can suggest that rather than asking for "extra" essentially?

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: L&D is a legit disability for STD. As matter of fact most STD policies have exclusionary periods for pregnancy/maternity benefits, meaning if you have L&D within the first 12 months of the policy you aren't covered.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Depends? Per the DOL:

To be eligible for FMLA leave, an employee must work for a covered employer and:
have worked for that employer for at least 12 months; and
have worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months prior to the start of the FMLA leave; and,
work at a location where at least 50 employees are employed at the location or within 75 miles of the location.

I'd take the max leave and then hope for the best for those two months, esp if your husband is able to do some of the sick care. A lot of that falls to my husband right now, because he has a more flexible schedule and more sick days. It works out ok for us.

That's a crappy situation though and it sucks things aren't easier. I have to max out my sick leave to be eligible for any STD, but I will fortunately not have to go back to work until my leave balances renew.