It's been two years of marriage and I'm finally starting to call my in-laws mom/dad. It still feels reallllly weird but I'm mostly trying for my husband's sake, since I haven't always had the best attitude about his family. I really have to think about it every time I address them.
Maybe part of it was because they never asked me to, or said I could. So I had no idea what to call them
When did you start calling your in-laws mom/dad?
honeydew / 7917 posts
Umm.. yeah I just let DH call them. I don't feel comfortable speaking to them on the phone.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Never. They are Mr and Mrs H. They aren't my parents and I would never feel close enough with them to call, them that.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
I call them by their first names, it'd be super weird calling them mom/dad to me.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
@mediagirl: did they ask you to call them Mr and Mrs? That seems super formal to me.
bananas / 9628 posts
i don't, we were married in october. they've asked me to, but i have a mom and a dad, his parents will never be my parents, so i don't have any interest in calling them mom and dad. maybe if they had been welcoming from the start i'd have a different feeling, but they would literally call DH while he was staying at my place and ask him to come home to meet other women they had invited to meet him. needless to say, it was a rocky start & i don't feel very close to them.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@yin: I'm referring to how you refer to them - do you refer to your in laws as Mrs/Mr, Mom and dad or first names?
honeydew / 7917 posts
@Coco Bee: Oops! I read through it too fast and didn't notice. After we were married I felt pressured to call them mom and dad in Vietnamese (I'm Chinese & have never spoken in Vietnamese to them before). Now I just avoid it when possible. It doesn't come naturally to me.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Never have. I might, if FIL asks me to (MIL is deceased). Also, my dad is "Papa", so having a "Dad" doesn't seem that weird.
kiwi / 623 posts
I don't think I will ever call them mom or dad. I call his mom by her first name and his dad Mr. ___. Now that we have a LO, I sometimes refer to them as grandma and grandpa
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Do people really do that?? I have never heard of calling your in-laws mom and dad! My parents addressed their in-laws by their first names for my whole childhood, and that was even with them coming from the South. I call my in-laws by their first names, just the same as I would any adult.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@prettylizy: they're in their 70's, totally old fashioned and.. Old.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
I rarely address them. With them being out of state it isn't too hard. We are not on good terms. My dad calls my mom's mom, mom and it still seems awkward.
honeydew / 7504 posts
I don't and never will. I have parents. I call them by their first names, but that took me almost a year after we got married to even do that.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I don't and I don't plan on it. Before I got married I called my Mil Ms. N. After the wedding she said I could call her Mom or N. I call her N because I feel more comfortable doing that. Also I call my mother Mom and didn't want to hurt her feelings calling someone else that too.
As far as my FIL goes, he doesn't deserve to be called Dad by me or my husband.
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
They are not MY parents so I would never call them Mom/Dad out of respect to my actual parents, who deserve to be called that. I call them by their first names, but I still never know what to call them for sure so I try not to have to actually address them, I just start talking 
nectarine / 2834 posts
I do. Both of my parents call their inlaws mom and dad and both of DH's parents call their inlaws mom and dad, so I felt really weird being the odd one out, even though my mother hates that I call my inlaws Mom and Dad. Go figure. She asked my DH not to call them Mom and Dad, so DH just doesn't address them. I'm close with my inlaws though. Even though I'm saying Mom and Dad, it doesn't feel like it has the same meaning...maybe it makes me a hypocrite, but it keeps the peace.
pomegranate / 3383 posts
I use their first names. Calling them mom/dad is weird to me. DH feels the same way.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I use their first names, I will never call them mom and dad, I will call them grandma/grandpa when LO arrives though.
pomegranate / 3890 posts
nope, i wouldnt feel comfortable doing that, that title goes to my parents i dotn really call them anything lol
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
more comfortably in the last year (our 2nd year of marriage). the only reason it works is because we call my parents by "appa" and "umma" mom/dad in korean.
even still-- i only call them mom/dad in 3rd person ref either when i'm talking to dh about them, or if i'm talking to one of them about the other. i never directly call them anything STILL and it's been 6 years!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Never will. I will always call them Mr. and Mrs. ___. My MIL wants me to call her lailai ("MIL" in Cantonese) but it makes me uncomfortable so I don't and it drives her mental.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I think it's too weird for me. I personally call them by their first names, and so does my DH.
pineapple / 12793 posts
I could see myself calling FIL Dad someday...though I'll probably just switch to Grandpa. I'm the same age as his grandkids so I'm used to hearing him called Grandpa. Right now I call him Sir. Don't know why, it just kind of stuck.
I have not yet referred to MIL by any name. It's really awkward. A few years ago I looked at the gift tag on my Christmas present for a clue as to what to call her. It said "To: Oliviaoblivia From: Mrs. Firstname Lastname". No clues there.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
I call them by their first names, except when addressing cards and stuff like To Mom Love, Rachel and _____ (DH). When we first started dating I didn't know what to call them so I just avoided having to call them anything, haha.
cherry / 154 posts
Just first names, but the exception is that I add "Momma" before DH's stepmom's first name. She told us that it would mean a lot if we could call her that, and we figured it doesn't harm anything!
nectarine / 2530 posts
I don't yet because it's never really been brought up, but I have a good relationship with them and I too have been wondering if it's something they expect me to do. Mostly I'm really good at avoiding calling anyone by a title or name :). Sometimes I stutter and refer to 'your husband' or 'your wife' when I'm talking to one or the other.
Here's a weirdness though (to me). My husband's ex wife still calls them mom and dad. Now, I understand that she was used to calling them that, but at the same time she only does it when she needs something from them (mostly help in watching the kids) so it feels a little manipulative to me.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I called them mom and dad in Khmer (their native tongue) about a year before we got married.
kiwi / 537 posts
First Names or grandma and grandpa now that LO is hear. I could never call them Mom or Dad
apricot / 302 posts
I call them by their names, not Mom & Dad, but they are divorced and both remarried, so its just easier to use all of their names.
pomegranate / 3008 posts
I use their given names as that is what they asked me to call them. Even if they asked me to call them mom/dad I don't think I would as they aren't my parents.
clementine / 916 posts
I'm not sure I'll even call them Mom/Dad. My Dad calls my grandparents Mom/Dad and it seems natural... but not for me/my ILs. Although, now that LO is here they're often Grandma/Grandpa.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
We both use first names for our in-laws. I'm looking forward to having kids, so I can just call them grandparent names!
coconut / 8681 posts
I use their first names. Once LO gets here they’ll probably be Grandma and Grandpa though.
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