DD is 17 months definitely starting to test my limits these past weeks, with some hitting, pushing, food throwing, and tantrums. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do when she starts acting out. I try calmly explaining to her why we don't hit, throw food, play with breakable things, etc. but half the time I feel like she's not even listening or taking in what I'm saying.
If you do time outs, what age did you start?
pineapple / 12802 posts
If she understands that it's notice, I would start by removing her from the scenario, or taking a specific object away. You could also designate a space for her to sit, isolated from exciting activity. I think they say a minute per year. So, she'd get one minute.
Eta: it might help for her to see a timer too?
coconut / 8498 posts
We started doing them a month ago. LO is 18 months old. We tell her, "No (insert action)," calmly but sternly and ask her to obey. We also tell her that disobeying leads to time out. If she continues, she goes into her crib for one minute. The fact that her crib is on the same level as our living space makes it an easy choice. As she gets older, we will start using the bottom stair.
One thing that really helps is choosing to focus on just a few behaviors at a time. For instance, right now we're really strict/consistent with throwing food on the floor, hitting, and coming when called. As she gets better at those things we will replace them with other "issues." Obviously, that doesn't mean we let other undesirable behaviors slide all the time, but we're more likely to be lenient with them.
pomelo / 5093 posts
I've been trying them at 25 months - my daughter has been trying to play with our dogs in a way that scares them and isn't acceptable. They've been somewhat effective, but I'm not sure they're any better than just repeating (endlessly) what she can and cannot do, and giving her alternative ways to play with them.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
We do timeouts and started them around 15 months I think. My approach is to use them for more serious safety issues, like hitting, biting, throwing toys. We try to do a lot of redirection otherwise and a lot if positive praise for desired behaviors as well.
We do one minute in her room with the door closed. I say the limit firmly (no biting etc) then close the door. She usually screams. When the minute is up, I go back in, pick her up, and talk to her. I tell her I know she was mad then reiterate the rule and safety issue. Then I give her a hug and we move on with our day. It has been pretty effective.
pineapple / 12566 posts
We started early, around 14 months. I think he understood (would go sit in the corner by himself by 16 months) and it worked for us.
pomelo / 5178 posts
We started time outs with DD at 21 months, but was very verbal so she got the concept pretty much immediately. Our pediatrician recommends not starting time outs until 2, and I know DS is nowhere near ready at 19 months. We might not even do time outs with him, or it will at least be a very long time before we start.
Right now, DS is in a throwing phase. I give him one warning not to throw, and then I take the object (food, toy, rock, etc...) Away. If he's throwing woodchips at the park, we leave and go home. When he pushes, hits, etc... I just tell him that I don't want to play with him when he does "x" behavior and I walk away from him. If he hits, pushes, etc.. while we're out, we leave and come home.
coconut / 8234 posts
We started them about a month and a half ago (LO is 18 months) and I don't know that they are successful. Just yesterday she was playing by herself and gave herself a time-out, went to the time-out spot, and then looked at me and laughed. #FAIL
@MamaCate: I might try it your way, that sounds like that might be more successful than what we've been doing.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
We started them at around 15 months. They worked well for us!
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@mrsjazz: I find that the "time in" afterwards is a real key to making them work. It has taken a little while for LO to get the idea but I think the repetition has helped. I actually work in early childhood mental health and this is the approach we teach, so I have seen it work for a variety of families too!
honeydew / 7295 posts
Super nanny says not until they are two years old but I do think some form of mild no and taking them away from the situation can help.
nectarine / 2504 posts
We started around 17 months. He knows what time out is now. If he's miss behaving and I ask him,"Do you want time out?"--he shakes his head and stops whatever he's doing.
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