Do you feel like it's enough? When does your SO get "me time"? Do you feel like it's fair?
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I work a traditional 9-5 type job, my husband works most nights and weekends. It's really tough to find "me time" since most of the time I'm not working I'm solo-parenting.
When DH is home, I feel bad going out alone because our 'family time' is rare.. -
I SAHM so if I get a double nap that's my me time. Sometimes it happens a lot sometimes not at all. I usually use that time to do a quick workout and that's all I have time for. I'd like to read more too but whatever. My SO doesn't regularly take me time but he is a homebody and there aren't many ways to escape while staying home. But we do what he wants in the evenings so I think it counts. I'd say I have it better than he does but I feel it's fair because my husband is the "eyeore" type. Even prior to kids he claimed he never got enough rest but was constantly bored. So I don't have much sympathy for his plight unfortunately. lol
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DH works 10 hours/day and does daycare drop offs and pick ups. So that leaves some time for me during the day, which I usually use to go to the gym. I take care of bedtime routine and such, so that is usually his time. Then the little time in between getting home and bedtime is family time. If there is something specific one of us wants to do we always accommodate it.
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I joined a couple of women's/moms groups that get me out of the house and talking to other women. I will also go out with friends when I can. I take advantage of naptime for me-time, too!
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Hahahaha what's that?
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I don't have regularly scheduled me time but DH is all about me going out and doing things for myself whenever I need to. Even though we both work I still spend more time with DS than he does so he definitely encourages me to go out on the weekends or a weeknight to have some time to myself. DH has me time maybe once a month, he'll go out for lunch with buddies or just himself. He is a weirdo and doesn't really need much alone time!
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I try to get out and go to the gym on the weekends by myself, and will also go out while the kids are napping (if I am not napping myself) on the weekends when DH is home. He's great about it when I ask to go out with girlfriends but I only do that once a month or so. I consider going to the grocery store by myself to be me time
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We do a pretty good job of taking turns giving each other a break on the weekends to either relax at home or go out and do something alone/with friends. It's really pretty easy to do with one kid. We have another one due in six weeks and I think it's going to be much harder to give each other a break for "me" time once there are two kids in the mix!
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After my son goes to sleep. He's asleep by 7:45 most nights so that gives me at least 2 hours most nights (if I am not already asleep). My husband also takes my son grocery shopping on the weekend so that gives me another hour and I'll return the favor by taking my son to an activity while my husband gets some time to himself.
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Mornings, evenings....and we switch off on weekends.
Last night, I didn't even want to watch tv with DH. I just wanted to sit in the quiet kitchen, alone, and edit photos. *shrug*
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On the weekends. DH never complains if I tell him I have plans and he is on solo duty. He loves his one on one time with LO. If he is home during the week, I will go out to dinner with friends and he does bedtime. He is always telling me I should go out more. Sometimes I just go during nap time. So I don't miss out on something with LO and DH.
I do think that it will be much harder to get alone time when we have another.
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When I go grocery shopping...
And on nights where my husband is watching sports, I get me time after both kids are in bed.
It's enough for now.
My husband gets "me time" after the kids are in bed and sometimes for a few hours here and there during the day on the weekend.
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After the kids go down at night, on the wknds, etc. I just make plans and let DH know in advance if I can
A few momcation wknds throughout the year helps tremendously for my sanity too!
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I go to MOPS 2x a month - that's the only "me time" I get.
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I don't really get any. Im either looking after DD, commuting, working or being a wife. My DH doesn't get any either, though, so there's no resentment there. I'd really benefit from some me-time but then I'd have to reciprocate.... and looking after DD solo is so much harder than juggling her between us! We currently do everything together and, if I take her somewhere solo its because DH is working or doing DIY.
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I don't get any. But it`s kind of my own fault, because DH would be happy to look after them both. I have been thinking about this a lot this weekend and going forward I'm going to try and work out how to get some,
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We do our own thing a couple of nights a week. We are both introverts, so it suits us
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When the weather is warm/cool, DH will take DS out on bike rides since he loves though, but they're only gone for like 30 minutes. Otherwise, I don't really get "me" time unless i take a PTO day and drop DS off at daycare.
DH gets him time in the evenings when he goes and play tennis so that's at least 3+ hours or when he goes out for boy's night. I feel like he gets a lot of him time even if we're all at home because DS likes to ask me to play with him vs asking daddy so DH can watch TV/play on his phone uninterrupted.
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I don't get any unless you count my commute to work. DH gets me time when he is on nights and gets home while we are still asleep.
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On days I don't work, DH takes DS to the park after breakfast and I have a 45-60 minutes alone. Most of the time I go back to bed for a few minutes. DS gets 30 minutes of independent playtime in a safe space most days while I am in ear shot and he also has a 30 minute morning nap so that's a mini break or two. Then DS has his afternoon nap for about 2 hours and I get that break too. DH usually handles bath and bedtime so I'm usually "off" around 7pm most nights and then I do chores and relax.
On days I work, I'm out the door before DS is awake and can run errands after work or during my lunch break since my mom has him. DH and I also do date night once a week while my mom watches DS.
DH and I are homebodies so me time really isn't a going out thing for us. I'm an introvert so I just need a lot of decompression time and I have high sleep needs. So my time off is usually spent dealing with that. Having more kids is going to be hard!
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I don't get much totally me time, like when I can go and do something. But I sah and since I'm 7+ months pregnant, I definitely rest while she naps during the day. Once a month I go to my book club in the evening and Dh gets home early from work to take care of c.
Weekends I tend not to do anything just for me, but I could if I really wanted. I would rather do family things (with Dh doing most of the toddler wrangling :)). He's a golfer so when he goes and plays that takes a lot of time, but he hasn't been able to play as much as he would like.
I would say neither of us quite feel like we get enough me time but there are only so many hours and the only place we could get more is sacrificing family time.
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@rachiecakes: same.
We both WOH FT. DH also works till 9 on tues and Thursday . And every other Sunday, so our family time is very limited. Not to mention couple time! Every now and then, when I am feeling run down, one of the nights he works till 9, I will try to get everything set or let a few things go, and just take 30 minutes before he gets home.
BIL has started a poker night and DH has gone a few times. We've agreed that it's smarter that he stays over. Since it goes so late and he's drinking during it. I'm ok with it and he deserves the time off. He feels guilty about it, so on Saturday I went out to lunch solo and leisurely walked around target. It was awesome.
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DH plays soccer or racquetball 2-3 nights per week. And he travels about 1 week per month, which I count as quasi-me-time, since he doesn't really have obligations for evening stuff with his coworkers and gets to go do whatever he wants. I don't typically take any me-time during the week because all I want to do is go to bed once we have put LO to bed and cleaned up, but I don't hesitate to schedule stuff with friends or my sisters on the weekends a few times a month. DH also takes LO to church on Sunday mornings and I get to sleep in.
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I WAH most days and this morning I put my infant to sleep while doing a web support call. Just now I had a phone call while my DH played with DS and talked in the background. It's almost 1 pm and I'm about to that a shower. My first reaction to this thread was "lol yeah right!"
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Nap time and evenings... Once in a while I will go out with my girlfriends or my sisters, but that's more rare now that we have 2, I feel badly leaving Dh with a 2yo and a newborn. We also don't get a ton of family time since Dh works a lot, weekends are pretty sacred now.
Dh plays hockey 2x a week in the fall/winter and golfs 2x a week in the spring/summer, so that his "Me" time
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I don't really get me time. DH gets his "me time" Monday-Thursday for at least an hour if not more. The last me time I got was after E's scope last Monday and my mum was here so I could nap!
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I actually feel like I get more "me" time than DH.. I work early hours and he works for himself, so I go to work first thing and he drops off. I choose to wake up ridiculously early (4:45am) to go to the gym before work, which I consider me time. I do pickup and dinner and DH is usually still working, or helps me with bath or dinner or books or all 3. Neither of us tends to do much for ourselves on the weekends since we don't see each other all week. I take LO to activities on the weekends sometimes just so DH can have an hour to himself!
ETA: Nevermind - DH stays up way later than I do, so his me time is after we're all asleep
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Never, because I am a WAHM on a flexible schedule. Which is great when someone needs to pick up a sick kid at preschool, but not so great when it means every single night after the kids go to bed, DH is on the couch watching TV and drinking wine and I'm in my office working until I can't stay awake anymore. So that's fun. It almost makes me wonder if it would be worth sacrificing the work flexibility to just be able to be done with work in the evenings...
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I'm a SAHM so usually an hour during naps and a few hours after bedtime. Once a month I go out by myself or with friends or my sister. Probably for 2-3 hours. I feel like it's a decent amount of time!
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I have one weekday off per week and I typically send LO to daycare for half the day so that's my time. DH has a standing get together with friends one weeknight per week but leant go out until LO is asleep so I have the evening to myself after that. DH will cover if I want to go out for an evening with friends but most of the time I'd rather be at home and we do our socializing on the weekends.
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DH gets way more me time for sure, but I let him b/c he does do a lot for us, and his job is more demanding/stressful. He always encourages me to take me time too but I'm the one that can't leave DD b/c I already WOH all week!
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I SAH but the kids go to daycare/preschool 3 mornings a week, around 9 hours a week. I use that time alone to do schoolwork, grocery shop, clean so I don't know if that counts. Sometimes I'll just sit in front of the TV for two hours though. At night after they go to bed and before DH gets home I usually have a little time alone but I'm usually folding laundry or tidying up. Once or twice a month I'll go out with girlfriends on the weekend.
DH has a long commute so he gets to watch his shows and snooze. He also plays golf every Sunday, weather permitting. That's loosely defined though, he has played in the rain before. Even though I wish he'd spend more time at home on weekends it's really his only hobby. He occasionally will go out to watch a game or to a bar with friends but he always does it on a week night. I love those nights cuz the kids are asleep and I can have the house to myself for a few hours. -
err, like never. I don't dance anymore (not since I was 22 weeks with LO1). I feel like there's always a kid attached to me. DH plays video games after LO1 goes to sleep.
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Nap time, mostly. Also I've been setting an alarm to get up 30 min earlier than I really have to in the morning so that I can eat breakfast and read my book in silence before having to jump into my day. My husband doesn't get daily "me time" like that but he likes his job and has friends with work that he eats out for lunch with like 3x per week so I think he feels like that is sufficient. Weekends it sort of just depends on how busy we are. I have no problem asking for an hour or two to go out or just lock myself in our bedroom and be alone if we have time for it. DH doesn't really require time like that, but he does watch football for 6 hrs every Sunday (albeit sometimes while watching LO but often not) and he is more likely than me to do things that take him away from the house for longer periods of time less frequently (like golfing for 5 hours).
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We both switch off. We work from home so we schedule lunch/coffee with friends. DH prefers to just hang alone most of the time so I'll take DD out and we'll do something fun.
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