Just wondering for what reasons you give a time-out? I've given DD a couple before for directly disobeying me (i.e. giving the dog her cracker when I had just told her not to). But lately she has been throwing tantrums for every little thing. I'm wondering if a time out would work, help calm her down. I really want her to start learning to calm herself down when she gets so upset.
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My son is 3 and I give a time out after about 3 warnings OR if the behavior is flat out unacceptable from the get-go like throwing, hitting, biting, etc. Luckily, our son doesn't really tantrum, so I don't have any suggestions for that. After he has been in time out for a few minutes I go to him and ask him if he knows why he is there, explain why what he did was wrong, and make him apologize. FWIW, we started time outs pretty early, around 15 months, but they have been very effective for us.
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Usually if it is a known rule (throwing blocks for example) they get one warning and then a time out. For excessive tantrums after a certain age I will give them s heads up that the tantrums have been too much recently and if next time they can't calm down with a reminder and a little help that I am going to move them to their room. Next time they can't pull it together I take them to their room and stay nearby. I am not sure it is a huge help to be honest but sometimes it breaks the cycle so it's worth a shot.
We do their room for tantrums because time out is on the bottom step and it becomes a power struggle of they are having a fit.
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@BeachMama: how old is your LO? Before 2, we pretty much did timeout just for safety issues: biting, hitting, etc. now we will do it for not listening as well after 3 warnings.
We also do a lot of redirection and emotion coaching in response to tantrums and I feel that has worked well for us. Now that LO is over 2, we do sometimes ask her to go in her room to calm down if she can't stop crying and that has worked too.
Whatever you decide are behaviors that warrant timeout, do your best to enforce them consistently.
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For tantrums, I don't. I let him calm down and then try to talk to him. We sing the mad song from Daniel tiger and it works like magic to calm him down!
But I do give time outs for blatant disobedience (he likes to throw things off our second floor apartment balcony and gets a timeout for that), and anytime he hurts someone (biting, hitting, etc).
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I do give DD a time out when she has a tantrum - she needs the time to cool down. I tell her "I think you need a time out - when you have calmed down you can come back" - She walks to the step and sits for a minute, calms down and comes back - works great for us!
She is 3 yrs old
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