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I'd make a point. 20 months is old enough to learn how things are supposed to go.

it would depend on the situation. was it past her bedtime? was she cranky because she was tired? i wouldn't make a big point if that were the case.

not wanting to put on clothes is a very common toddler tantrum that we have with charlie all the time. there are certain things that we absolutely make a point -- no hitting, spitting, etc -- but we're not as strict with things like putting on clothes/shoes.

I don't give in because once I start giving in she starts trying to battle everything. When it is time to do something it is time to do it. Now she is three years old and we hardly ever have these battles anymore.

DS is only 9 months and I'm already starting to tell him no, no touch, gentle, etc... I know he's to young to get it yet, but its not to early for him to hear the words. I think that 20 months is definitely old enough to follow directions. Kids throw fits sometimes, especially at that age when they are tired or hungry, but that shouldn't stop the parents from standing their ground and being consistent about enforcing the rules.

@mrstilly: I get that. In fact, I said that I personally think discipline needs to be consistent. However, I also know that quite often parents discipline their children and then grandparents don't back them up and instead of the discipline working, it backfires when the precious little angel faced baby runs to grandma and gets exactly what she wants. In that case, the mom can talk until she's blue in the face but it's not going to get her anywhere. Similar to how I try my best to be consistent in expectations and consequences with my students but when they go home and their parents allow them to hit their siblings, talk back, etc it completely undermines what I've been working on in the classroom and makes my job a lot harder.

This is a tough one. Honestly, if it were me in the situation, I don't know how I would have reacted since we weren't at home and it would be past his bedtime and out of the routine to be putting PJs on at someone else's house.

Being the parent of a toddler, I've learned that you have to pick your battles. We don't tolerate tantrums too well, and have implemented time outs that mostly work pretty well, but in extenuating circumstances we'll sometimes just give in. Whatever it takes to get whatever needs to be done done. With some tantrums, if you just force them to do what you want them to do, the tantrum can escalate and get to a completely uncontrollable situation. Like vomiting and red zone screaming. Sometimes you just want to do whatever it takes to prevent the escalation because you've been to the red zone before and you don't wanna go back!

I try not to judge other parents in their decisions since I now understand just how difficult it is to deal with a tantrum-y toddler... so when I see parents not dealing with their crazy kids (especially when there's more than one!) I understand a whole lot more than I did before RJ started on his terrible twos. So while it's good to watch, learn, and discuss how you want to treat those kinds of situations in the future, know that you will be there someday and it is NOT. EASY!!!

If she's old enough to help put on her jammies, she's old enough to learn. And there's a difference between punishing her and telling her the right/wrong behavior. I would probably say something like "There's no need to fuss. If you get changed, you can do X." And yeah, I wouldn't fight a tantrum unless it is in public.

Also, with a little one on the way, she may be acting out against decreased attention from mom. In which case, ignoring her is the only way to handle a tantrum.