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Our pediatrician said boys train closer to 3. Our son is interested and goes on the potty but is perfectly content to pee and poop in his diaper. And I'm 37 weeks pregnant so not feeling much pressure to push him.

Our ped and all our friends ESP with boys have said don't even bother until close to 3. Our daycare has to have them PT by 3 to move up classrooms.

Our preschool wants them potty trained before they start at 2.5...but we keep thinking LO is trained (at 2.5) then she has an accident while we're out, like every 2 weeks (and she's not nap/night trained).

I definitely don't think 2.5 is late! I think most of the 2's and 3's are meant for potty training!

I say to do it when all of you are ready. If you're ready, it will take a three days...if you're not, it will take a year and three days. I was a preschool director, and we definitely pushed potty training so kids could move up classrooms. It sucked.

I think if you are not potty-trained by the time she goes to pre-school (3+ years old?) then that is socially considered late... because most schools require your child to be able to use the potty after 3. So I think you are in the good zone

I would say try to give her an hour of underwear time each day? And tell her that she should keep her underwear clean and dry because it is so pretty and she is a big girl now. Gradually increase the underwear time if she is able to remain clean and dry....etc. Things will happen VERY quickly (when they are ready), so even if you start training in January she may get it within 1-2 weeks. Seriously. Don't worry!

And very often I heard from parents of girls and they said they didn't do anything, they just train themselves, as in having long periods of dry time and asking to be in underwear / use the potty...etc. all you need to do is to show them.

Potty training is a lot like breastfeeding I think (haha). No matter what you pick (training early or training late), unless you are super successful at one go with no accidents (which is not possible), the parents will be guilty somehow. For me I am guilty that I pushed him when he was just 2.5 years old when he was clearly clueless and not ready. I felt like I traumatized him (and me) unnecessarily because I was afraid of what your husband described. So the truth is you are OK regardless of what you do! Hugs!!