How do you react when other moms make you feel badly about the way you choose to do things?
Recently a good mommy friend of mine just started letting loose about all sorts of things that I'm doing "wrong" (even though I know it's not "wrong"...Just different than the way she does things) and days later, I'm still feeling down and insecure about it.
Deep down, I know that I'm doing a great job with LO but on the surface, my confidence is shattered! Dang her!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
awww that is SO mean!!!!
I think you sound like a WONDERFUL mother!
Defriend her ASAP!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Andrea: The entire time she was talking I just stood there like an idiot nodding my head as if I was agreeing with her! Her tone was very "Psh, I'm a mother of two so I know more than you"...I just stood there - didn't know what to do or say! 
persimmon / 1453 posts
Ugh, that's the worst. People can be so ignorant...honestly, if they knew the least bit about your choices, they would probably be supportive of you and applauding you. The mommy crucifixions are ridiculous!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@Rubies: i really hate when people of multiple children put you down. like i have two so i am better than you. it is total BS! i am sorry she did that to you. don't believe it!!
honeydew / 7589 posts
Personally, I would write her a note..
I'd say "You know, I didn't say anything at the time, but that was actually hurtful. I'm a good mom, and your criticism wasn't appreciated. I respect your decisions in parenting your children, please respect mine."
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Arden: Can you rewrite it with a lot of profanity and send it on my behalf? 
Just kidding.
GOLD / grape / 82 posts
Ignore them. They just want to feel important and in order to do that they have to put you down.
bananas / 9227 posts
I hate when people feel the need to make others feel bad just to make them feel better about themselves. Don't let her get to you!
*hugs*
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Oh no! If anyone tells me something like that, I try to kill them with kindness and tell them that it's awesome that whatever it is works so well with their family, but this is what works for us. Don't let her make you feel bad, you're an awesome mommy! Your LO is happy and healthy and thriving.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Uh. WTF! @Andrea: lets kick her ass!
She shouldn't be telling you how to parent. And she shouldn't be telling you that your way of parenting is wrong.
The nerve.. >:T
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
I would just say something. Everyone raises their kids differently. As long as it's not something dangerous, she should learn to either keep her mouth shut or understand that there is no right or wrong way.
Egh.... mom's 
persimmon / 1087 posts
@Rubies: That is not a friend! How rude of her. My feelings would be hurt too!
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
*Augh* Neither pregnancy nor parenting is a mathematical equation with *one* right answer, Matter of fact, mathematical problems can be solved in any number of ways, all with the *right* answer . . . you really are only limited by your own mind and pre-set limitations. I just don't get some women. ((hugs))
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
If it were a good friend I would definitely explain that we have different opinions and you would prefer her to keep her mouth shut, if she's not a close friend I would slowly phase you out. No one has the right to criticize being a mother!
persimmon / 1465 posts
Who does this? I mean really, who does this? If she is going to be so rude and disrespectful to criticise you then I would have no qualms about shutting her down and making it clear how inappropriate and uncalled for her opinions are. And that they are just her opinions. I mean if a mother of four came along would this friend put up with being read the riot act?? I'd imagine not. I am so cranky on your behalf! Send her a link to this thread!
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Honestly I act oblivious. Like I don't realize they're trying to correct or criticize. Even if someone were to flat out say 'you're doing it wrong' I'd just say something like 'oh that's interesting you think that' as I try to get away from them.
grapefruit / 4049 posts
that just sucks. i don't think this has happened to me through a "friend" yet... but when it happens through other people, I do get down for a while... it's so bothersome and hard to shrug it off! know that you are the bigger person by not stooping down to her level!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I think this is one of those things that you have to say something in the moment or just let it go. My MIL does this all the time, I just say we do things differently than she and my SIL have done and then I change the subject.
persimmon / 1472 posts
That is just plain mean! =\ There are always many solutions to a single problem, doesn't mean one is better than the other. I don't like to confront people but if she does it again I would say something.
Don't let her get you down in the dumps! I think you are an awesome mom!!!
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