Hellobee Boards

Do you want my honest opinion on the subject of child spacing?

I don't think it's something you can really control. It is lovely to think your life is going to go a certain way but in reality, it couldn't be more far from the truth for the majority of people.

I know that I used to put a lot of pressure on myself (and most likely my husband too!) to create this perfect picture in my head of what our family would like like in x number of years.

Just like @looch, I have come to the conclusion that this picture just puts undue stress on us. What I have learned (OK, still tryingto learn) is that there will be a time and a place for everything, and when I get stuck on what I think things should look like, I am invetiably disappointed.

I am trying my hardest to let go of these"original" ideas and allow myself to go with the natural flow of things. It's not easy, and I find myself becoming increasingly jealous of others whose plans seem to be "picture perfect," but I try to let it go and do what's best for my family, in whatever stage of life we're currently in.

@runsyellowlites: I think it's totally normal to have an unsettled feeling! I know several families that have children with special needs, one of them the oldest had special needs. In my own family, my youngest brother had special needs.

I also thought that I would meet my husband during my college freshman orientation. I would bring him home on Thanksgiving, and then we would date all 4 years. When we graduated, we would get engaged and move to the same city. We would be married two years later and our first son would be born when we were 25. We would own our center hall colonial home on 1 acre of land by the time we were 30 and have had 4 children in total.

Well, my life didn't turn out that way and in all honesty, I am glad I am on the road I am on.

@Periwinkle: I totally get you on the "picture perfect" thing. People tell us how we got our timing perfect w/LO2 coming 3yrs after LO1. But they had no idea of our IF issues and how much we wanted to have them closer!

@runsyellowlites: A little off topic, but I have a friend who wanted 4 or 5 children and had to stop at 2 and she was pretty upset about it as well. It's tough knowing that you want more and to have a large family, but the two you have could be it. After my last MC, I'm starting to face the reality that S might be it for us if I have another MC. Just wanted to say hang in there and send some love

@runsyellowlites: *hugs!!* Trust in God!! He has a plan for us! We're not supposed to know what's going to happen I'm a type A personality so I struggle with this on a daily basis, so I totally get where you are coming from with the unknowns!

I thought that I wanted two close in age. It's looking like it's going to be more like 2-3 years in between kids. We still need to move to the burbs. I don't like my new coworker, but need to stay in order to have maternity leave in the future. So that's a bit of a rock and a hard place. I'm working on getting a certification and enjoying my marriage and LO.

Also, I'm losing weight which if I did it sooner, we probably would be trying sooner. I like that I'm losing weight, so getting pregnant and gaining weight isn't too appealing right now at least until I get down to close to my goal weight.

I was so sure about getting pregnant again 6 months ago. Now, I'd rather wait a bit at least until my weight goes down enough that pregnancy doesn't put me in the 200's again.