Ugh, I do not want to think about spending $20k on my daughters wedding! I know we obviously want to save for her college education first and that probably won't be until its time for her to go to college!
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I don't think we'll contribute large amount for either of our kids' weddings. We want to help, but we feel they should be responsible for the bulk of the costs. So... we probably won't ever save specifically for their weddings.
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I think that we're going to start a fund for her that she can choose to use on college or on a wedding. I figure we'll give her $10k like my parents did and anything she wants beyond that she'll have to pay for.
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@Thehistoryofus: we are planning on putting a down payment on a house for them and renting it out to pay of the mortgage. When they reach a certain age we will give it to them, giving them the choice to live in it or sell and use the money for another house or wedding or combination of the two. For some reason I think it's better for them to consciously pay for a wedding- it's such a big decision.
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Education first. We talked about offering all of our kids some money down the road, but we won't be paying for the whole thing, since we'll be helping out in other ways. And with the divorce rate as high as it is, I just don't feel like it's our responsibility so much as education and such.
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DH started it the day we found out the gender and he won't let me contribute to it! We also have education savings accounts set up for her!
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@autumnlove: that's cute
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We haven't even thought about this! I think DH would freak if we started talking about her wedding now... he's going to be one of those protective dads... poor girl.
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I'm going to sound mean.....but never! We had to pay for our own wedding, I will expect my children to do the same. When the time comes we might give them a small head start, but I will refuse to pay for it all!
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We're not going to save for it. Will just pay for her wedding when the time comes!
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@autumnlove: that's really sweet!
We will save for college first and then start thinking about the wedding. Ugh... not looking forward to it...
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I definitely don't think we'll start a wedding fund. Our wedding was pretty simple and we planned to pay for it ourselves, although my parents thankfully contributed a lump sum that covered a big chunk. I don't think parents should feel obligated to pay for daughters' weddings but not sons', and I'd like to just be able to give my kids an amount (whatever we're comfortable giving) and let them budget it as they like when the time rolls around.
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Never. A wedding reception is a party; you pay for parties yourself.
We will help payfor college, and would help with a home purchase; but we will not pay for a wedding - in full or in significant part.
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Irrelevant. She's never getting married because she's never going to be allowed to date.
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Never. Regardless of their gender, we'll contribute a small amount to our future kids' weddings--whatever amount is helpful but does not put us out in any way.
I think saving for retirement should be priority number one.
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@mediagirl: hehehe
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Nope. We'll contribute whatever is comfortable for our financial situation at the time, equally for our daughter and son. Contributing to their education is more important to us so they'll get more funds there, but again it will be based on our situation at the time, no special savings accounts.
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We won't save for a wedding either - we'll definitely contribute when the time comes, but I'm not going to save towards it. Hubs and I had a very inexpensive wedding and my kids can do the same. If they want something fancy/expensive, they can pay for it themselves.
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We won't save specifically for a wedding. We'll do a college savings account and we will continue to invest for the future of our family as a whole. When our children marry we will contribute what is comfortable for us at the time.
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We won't save for any weddings - definitely education first. My parents and DH's parents did this and it allowed us to graduate debt free, which was HUGE help when starting our lives together (a gift I didn't truly appreciate until recently).
That being said, both sets of parents helped out with our wedding more than we had expected - we will likely do the same in the future.
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I kind of hate that this is such a gendered situation. Like, why can't a boy's parents contribute? And I know several situations where this has been the case. I guess I'm hoping that by the time LO gets married (if she gets married) this is one antiquated tradition that's dead.
As for saving for the big day? No idea. I'm so much more concerned about her education, to be honest.
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We won't be saving up for a wedding. We plan to start a college account ASAP, but that's it! I don't understand spending huge amounts of money on a wedding, but if that's what my son/daughter wants, they are more than welcome to work hard and pay for a big party!
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@mediagirl: exactly! We're raising a nun.
We'll definitely contribute as much as we can when the time comes, but won't start a designated fund. We do have education accounts started for her though.
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@mediagirl: haha!
I'd like to pay for both DD's and DS's weddings but I want to put their college funds first. Maybe we'll give both 10k to do what they choose with after school is over.
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I'm surprised some are saying you would save and let your child choose College or Wedding. There is no way I would let them use thousands that I saved on a wedding party if they didn't have money for college.
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First I have to think about bat mitzvah and braces.
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Absolutely never. My savings will go for college, and maybe a house downpayment. She's welcome to save up for her own 20k wedding, just like I did.
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I will not pay more than a 5-10k for my daughters wedding... I paid for MY wedding all out of pocket, 3k. I don't think a big, extravagant wedding is a NEED. I would much rather help pay for college, car, first apartment etc.
Maybe if we aren't struggling so much financially, I might be willing to contribute more.
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Either gender, we will start savings accounts for college for them and make sure we have savings for that. I'd love to pay for or help pay for their weddings, if we can comfortably, but it isn't nearly as important to us as paying for their schooling.
That said, we probably would feel more of an obligation to pay for a daughter's wedding than a son's. Which I do think is dumb- my parents paid for their daughters' weddings and my brother just got very generous gift.
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