LO kept asking me this question this morning. She's been asking it when she sees photos of DH and I before she was born. She was looking at the wedding photo we have hanging up.
She's 3.5, too young to understand eggs & sperm and she takes some things very literally. For instance a friend said to say "in my heart" and LO will actually think she was inside my heart before she was in my belly.
We are not religious, so saying with God won't work for us. What would you say?
pineapple / 12802 posts
I saw your status on FB this morning and I've been thinking about it since and I honestly, still, don't know what I'd say.
coconut / 8472 posts
Does she understand seeds/plants? Our plan is to say something like "daddy planted a seed in mommy and it grew into being you." Or something.
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@mrsjazz: Can you say that mommy and daddy made you? I think kids understand more than we think!
coconut / 8234 posts
@.twist.: Yeah I need to come up with something because I know she's going to ask me again.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
But I feel like her question is not how she was made but she wanted to know WHERE she was before she was even in your belly, which the real answer is NO WHERE, lol! That's a tough one!
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
I would say nowhere. I don't know what else you could say...
coconut / 8234 posts
@snowjewelz: Yes! She gets the concept of being in my belly and she knows that her mommy and daddy made her...but the before part! I tried to explain eggs and sperm and she was lost once I said eggs...she thought I meant chicken eggs! I told her she wasn't born and she kept saying "but where was I?!?"
coconut / 8234 posts
@rosegold: I love that answer. Reminds me of that video where a scientist is talking about how we are all stardust (or something like that).
coconut / 8472 posts
Oh, I just had an idea - what if you cooked something with her, like brownies. And then ask her where the brownies were before you made them. Point out there were ingredients that combined in the oven and then they became something else. So she has ingredients from mommy and daddy and they combined to make a new person.
pineapple / 12566 posts
We haven't had the full on birds and bees talk yet, but my LO is definitely curious. I've told him that women have teeny tiny eggs inside of them and that it grows into a baby when the time is right. We haven't gotten further than that yet though.
pineapple / 12802 posts
@ShootingStar: That is a really great idea. Filing that one away for later use! THANKS!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Well she didn't exist before you and your DH made her. Could you bake a cake with her or something to illustrate in a fun & yummy away how she was made? A cake isn't a cake until it's baked & iced. All of the ingredients unbaked are just the inputs- no cake yet. She has features and traits just like the ingredients from the two of you that make her her.
EDIT: I see my typing was too slow, Shootingstar had the same idea.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
My son asked me what a tampon was the other day.....and I stuttered and stammered. Not prepared for these things!
apricot / 428 posts
@mrsjazz: dh and i have far too many convos mixing science and religion. it's only appropriate that we pass that idea along to little one.
squash / 13208 posts
@winniebee: ha! My kids know all about periods! I pull out a tampon and my DD says "Mommy are you on your period again?" 
coconut / 8234 posts
@winniebee: @Mamaof2: Yeah my LO tried to demonstrate how to use a tampon and once made me a pad out of construction paper.
@rosegold: DH will love it, too. It's a good answer because he's an atheist and I am one of those spiritual but not religious folks.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: great minds think alike!
honeydew / 7811 posts
@mrsjazz: that's such a deep question when you think about it! Wow. No good answer here but I love the way your LO thinks. 
pomegranate / 3127 posts
I've gotten this question before and I always stammer, say "you weren't here yet," and change the topic. "Nowhere" just doesn't seem like the right answer!
nectarine / 2987 posts
If the cake doesn't work, my fallback is to say that I don't know and ask if they know. It works a surprising amount of the time.
pomegranate / 3706 posts
My 3.5 year old asks me a lot of questions about death, and about before she was in my belly, so while it's jarring, I've gotten used to just telling her the truth. I've said, "you didn't exist yet." She has a little sister I can talk about too, which makes it easier, because she remembers the time before her sister was with us.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
@winniebee: My 21 month asked, "For mommy?" when she saw a box of pads the other day. I said yes, and now she keeps saying, "Mommy's diaper!" -- Well, sort of? 
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@winniebee: Cobi asked me that too! I had no idea what to say! I think I told him to let me go to the bathroom alone and go play hahaha.
@MrsSRS: ahh that's a good idea. I do that with my son a lot of times, I love hearing what he thinks is going on haha.
@ShootingStar: that is BRILLIANT. Seriously.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
I love this topic ... mostly because I believe in all of that hippie woo-woo stuff. I love the stardust thought, or that all of us have lived many lives. Maybe your kid is really 500 years older than you? *brain explodes*
You could always show her this, and ruin her life forever!! https://vimeo.com/27847934 Hahahaha ... I bookmarked this when I was pregnant. I still can't remember if I thought it was a good idea or a joke.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@littlejoy: hahahaah so funny! I guess some parents could use that? I don't think my three year old is ready for that though lol!
pomegranate / 3375 posts
@Mrs. Pen: And, it makes me kind of ragey ... like, what about two dads, or two moms? Or c-sections? Or IVF? Ha. My kid's sex-ed cartoon would be like 35 hours long. I'll stick with "you tell me".
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@littlejoy: hahaha well I didn't know about all that stuff when I was a kid! I think if I were an IVF mom or a same-sex couple, my talk would be very different. But I do think it's evident of the changing times that a simple video can't explain it completely anymore. I guess it truly depends on their age when they ask!
FWIW that video was based on a book from the 70's soooo
coconut / 8234 posts
@littlejoy: @Mrs. Pen: That video is too funny. LO knows more about c-sections than vaginal births. I had tell her babies come out of vaginas, too.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@littlejoy: @Mrs. Pen: he sort of saw me in the process (and frankly, he probably Wendy old enough to ask the last time I had a period!). He said "why you doing that? What's that for?" And I was mostly honest and explained it in as basic terms as possible. He didn't ask again so I'm guessing he is momentarily satisfied!
blogger / pear / 1509 posts
My very non religious parents used to say, when telling stories about before I was born, "back when you were just a twinkle in my eye." I always loved the image and I remember feeling special, like they were dreaming of me long before I arrived. I later found out I was an accident, hahaha, but I think the idea was nice.
nectarine / 2173 posts
Can you just say "my belly is where you were formed/started"? I'm not sure it needs more of an answer!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I would respond with in my heart or in my wishes. Maybe dreams?
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