If a memorial includes a separate viewing and church service, how do you decide which to attend? Is one for more intimate relationships or is it based on schedules?
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I think I would reserve visitation for people/families I know well.
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We usually go to the service or both (we have really only been to funerals of close friends and family) but I think people would understand if the visitation fit your schedule better.
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I always think this is so interesting when it comes up because people's experiences are so different. For me, wakes/visitations are for everyone to come and pay their respects and the actual funeral service is a bit more intimate. That said, I don't think it's inappropriate to go to one or the other.
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@Madison43: I was thinking the same thing.
I would go to the visitation only of someone I didn't know as well. If it's someone I'm closer to, I'd go to both or if I had to pick, just the funeral. -
I agree with @Madison43:
Since funerals are usually during the day and wakes are usually in the evening, I only take off for a funeral if it's someone really close.
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I only ever go to the viewing unless it is an extremely close friend or family.
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If the viewing is separate I would skip it unless it's someone close.
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We don't do viewings in the Jewish faith, so I usually skip those if I'm attending a funeral for another religious faith
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I've unfortunately been to a lot of funerals and in my experience the viewings are just for very close family/friends and the funeral service is more for everyone.
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All the funerals I've ever been to have been greek orthodox. the viewing (trisagio) is almost always for the immediate family and then the funeral for everyone else. we then do several further blessings at the cemetery, and the one at 40 days is also a big one which almost everyone at the funeral then attends.
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For family, I go to both. Otherwise, just whatever works for my schedule.
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11 comments