Pregnancy, labor/delivery, recovery, getting used to being a new parent? Was the hardest part different than you expected?
Edited to allow for multiple votes and including BFing which sounds like it was the most difficult for some!!
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Getting used to being a first time parent is definitely the hardest. Hands down. But I also was lucky to have a easy pregnancy and recovery.
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For me, the physical recovery. I was so not prepared for how beaten down I would feel. I had slept poorly for months during pregnancy and then recovering from a 3rd degree tear/severe blood loss and sleepless hospital nights was just a prelude to how bad I would physically feel, which contributed to how emotional I was making adjusting to being a new parent harder than I expected! But it was definitely my physical recovery that was way harder than I expected. The media portrays people bouncing back from pregnancy (not even aesthetically--just getting out and about!) look so easy! I had no idea what I was in for.
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The physical recovery was hardest for me bc it made it harder to forget the labor and delivery, which was SOFA KING difficult. Really took a toll on me mentally and emotionally, beyond physically.
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@aprk: Totally. I think the recovery and reliving everything really interfered with settling into the new parent groove. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wish I had sought help earlier because I think it would have allowed me to process it and move on more quickly.
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Weeks 4-12 of newborn stage. New parenting is no joke!
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@maybebaby: Can you open multiple voting? I did different "hardest parts" with each kiddo...
With G is was labor & delivery for sure. Horrible experience.
With P is was the adjustment time of becoming a new parent. I was absolutely not expecting a baby with feeding/tummy issues that cried all. the. time.
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The hardest for me was definitely becoming a new parent. It was just finding my groove. Once I got that down, I was good to go!
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Honestly, none of it really. I had a very easy pregnancy with no discomforts beyond heartburn and some terrible cramping the first few weeks. Labour and delivery were easy as well once I got the epi - I progressed well, had no complications, pushed LO out in less than an hour, and never felt any pain or pressure once the epi was in. Recovery was easy, despite a second degree tear; I never needed any painkillers and felt pretty good by one week postpartum. And adjusting to parenthood wasn't too bad either as I'd read every book under the sun and was prepared for what to expect. I was also blessed with a good feeder and sleeper, and had DH home for two weeks on paternity leave, which was a godsend.
The hardest for me was getting used to the pain of BF'ing. Everyone said if it hurts, something is wrong, to which I say bollocks. It takes a while for the nipples to toughen up and in that time, it freaking hurts every time LO latches on. That was the hardest for me but it fortunately eased up around four weeks pp.
I'm worried that this time, adjusting to life with two under two is going to be incredibly difficult!
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@runsyellowlites: Great point, edited!
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It was definitely becoming a new parent/adjusting for me!
I hope your appt goes well, or did you already go? Then hopefully you will completely heal!
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@Ree723: BFing was probably my next hardest thing and we didn't really find our groove until 9 weeks. I feel like that deserves it's own option!
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My pregnancy sucked, my L&D went off the rails, recovery was hard, but being a first time parent was harder than all of that put together. DH had to go back to work the Monday after he was born (he was born on a Wednesday) and my mom was here she left after two weeks. DH works stupid long hours half the week, so I was on my own most of the time (12+ hours a day). I hadn't fully realized how demanding a newborn would be on me. I wasn't expecting a walk in the park, but no matter how much I tried to prepare myself for the idea of a helpless infant being completely reliant on me for every little thing, the reality was even more overwhelming. He wouldn't sleep unless I was holding him. He nursed every hour--sometimes every half an hour. I spent long hours holding him and praying I wouldn't pee on myself because he finally, finally fell asleep and my full bladder came second. It was a rough transition.
@aprk: SOFA KING made me LOL.
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@maybebaby: @Ree723: I voted for physical recovery, but what I really meant was physical recovery for my BOOBS! haha. it took months for us to get that down properly!
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Physical recovery. Even my friends with csections were back in action before I was. And no one I knew had had a similar experience so everyone expected me to be out and about. That was rough. I didn't expect it.
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new parenting/baby sleep. hands down. but i think handling it was exacerbated by my rocky postpartum recovery/pain level.
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Getting pregnant in the first place was the most trying/difficult but after that I'd have to say getting used to being a new parent. I knew I'd be tired, but I had no comprehension on what sleep depravation did to me personally. Mind=blown. Pregnancy was a breeze, labor and delivery weren't that bad, recovery was quick-ish, considering that at one point there was a set of arms reaching into my uterus to pull out DD by the feet.
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For me its getting used to being a parent and specifically, figuring out our relationship and how to be parents together. It's hard to not sometimes feel resentful when I feel like I'm the I ky one giving a lot of other stuff up, while Dh still goes golfing every weekend. We talk about it but I feel like we still aren't filling understanding the other. It's still a work in progress but that's been the hardest adjustment.
I was lucky that my pregnancy was pretty easy, labor and delivery were hard but went well and I feel positive about the experience, and my physical recovery was much better than I expected.
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Lack of sleep and navigating marriage with a baby in the mix have probably been my hardest issues. Next would be my L&D. Recovery went ok, all things considered.
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I feel I've been relatively lucky. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful, and enjoyable. Despite being induced, my delivery went well. I had terrible spinal headaches for a week after a botched epidural, and that was hell. Once it was (finally!) remedied, my physical recovery was a breeze. DH and I coparent well, and mothering feels pretty natural. Our daughter is happy, mellow, and sleeps well.
For whatever reason, I did end up with chronic low supply. I tried everything under the sun, to no avail. It absolutely tore me up, emotionally, but I think I'm finally in an okay place about it.
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Becoming a new parents has been hardest for me. It's so humbling. I thought being a mom was going to come naturally to me. I was a really good babysitter in high school, I had a brownie troop in college, I volunteered with babies, I rocked being pregnant.
It turns out I am a barely hanging in there, 'what have I gotten myself into', 'please, please take a nap' mom. And I was happy to go back to work. So yeah, becoming the mother I judged before having my baby has been hardest for me. Way harder than 51 hours of labor.
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In the new baby stage breastfeeding was the hardest. I said multiple times that the only thing marring my experience as a new parent was the breastfeeding difficulty.
Long term, mommy guilt.
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My pregnancy sucked, labor was quick with both (not with the first though!) recovery was pretty terrible too. None of that compares to having a colicky baby, add in a toddler, a moody 11 year old, and a husband who is either gone all the time or in a crummy mood from getting no sleep. That has hands down been the hardest for me. Then there's every other weekend that we have my step-daughters...
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Pregnancy was the hardest part for me, the duration of feeling bad was the longest. It had good parts to it, but functioning from day to day was a real challenge.
Breastfeeding was next, it was hard and a constant stress for the first 8 weeks, there was no escaping it because it would start over again in a few hours. As a whole, our difficulties were a blessing in disguise because we could do both breast and bottle interchangeably, but at the time it felt like I was constantly on the edge of not making it work.
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Becoming a new parent for sure!
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Becoming a parent/colicky newborn/severe PPD/BFing issues.
So... About the first, solid 4 months of her life.
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Breast feeding, hands down. Most of my tears in the first four weeks can be solely attributed to finally realizing that my son was crying so hard because I was starving him.
It took awhile, but we've found our happy place. Thank goodness he switches well between bottle/breast.
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@Ree723: I was glad to read your post. BF has been hardest for me. Frick it hurts!! I am 4 weeks pp now and though it still hurts your comments make me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Come on nips, toughen up!
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I found labour incredibly hard. It was just so much more physically demanding than I thought it would be. I don't find parenting P to be that hard yet, but I do find the change in my life to be really hard. I find it quite isolating, sometimes lonely and I miss my "normal" life.
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Labor before epidural! But breast-feeding-related pain was a longer and a close second!
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This is hard for me to answer because I feel like they were all hard! My pregnancy was difficult, but at the time I was fine with it. My labor was torturous, but my healthy baby canceled it out. BFing was hell, but if I were to do it again, I would know when to quit, and wouldn't allow it to consume me like it did. The NB days were scary difficult, but another baby could be easy peasy.
I voted BF, but I realize that I should have voted Parenting, because those NB days were just ... yeh, I'm happy those days are over!
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The healing was most difficult for me. It was extremely painful because I tore so much. I couldn't move much for weeks.
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New parenting for sure. The rest was pretty easy for me.
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Becoming a new parent and especially 1 to 5 months of her life. I usually say 3, but going back to work made me add the extra 2 months. You don't get how hard it is until you get in the trenches with your own child. lol
It took awhile, but we've found our happy place. Thank goodness he switches well between bottle/breast.
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