Interesting discussion starter - just a quick 5 minute video about how schools cater to girls, and their behavior is the "gold standard" and boys are too rambunctious.
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Full disclosure: I didn't watch the video (I am somewhat averse to random video links!) but it's definitely true that schools now cater to girls and can be hostile to boys. I recommend "Raising Cain" by Dr. Michael Thompson, a book which was also a PBS documentary.
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I've only listened to about half of it, and I read reviews about her book 'The war on boys" when it came out. I can't really address schools/boys/younger grades and the type of play she's talking about--how schools are discouraging boys from playing with play guns, etc.
But I can speak a little about Middle School, since I've worked in them the past 10 years. I think you also need to look at it from the school's perspective: One example I can give you is the lunch room--no curriculum, no structured environment, just kids sitting at the table of their choice and eating.
Naturally, this is an extremely chaotic environment from a crowd-control perspective. And over and over, I see the boys' tables pushing the limits (hitting, throwing food and water bottles, spraying water bottles, flicking each other with pencils) whle the girls are more quiet. The girls may be passing mean notes to each other for all I know, but from my perspective as a teacher, when I'm 1 of 2 teachers on lunch duty controling 150 8th graders---the "problem" in the room that needs addressing at that moment is the table of boys throwing water bottles and hitting each other.
Is this just "active boy" behavior? I guess that's debatable. But it only takes one water bottle hitting another kid in the face, or a thrown pencil hitting someone's eye before we get an angry phone call from the injured student's parent asking why we allowed it to happen.
In our school, boys get referred to the principal at much higher rates, that's true---but we live in a world where boys are bringing guns to school and killing people. We HAVE to disallow the idea of "guns for play" because of the world we live in. We live in a litigous society--we HAVE to make sure boys aren't hitting each other or throwing things or yelling and screaming.
And since they push those limits more readily, they get in trouble more. It's hard to avoid at this age when sometimes in school our focus has to first be on control and THEN on teaching, since you can't teach a class that isn't under control, you know?
I do feel like if parents feel strongly that their boys be allowed to have imaginative play with toy guns and have a lot of rough play, that they might consider homeschooling, where there isn't a school to sue in the event that something goes wrong.
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I guess I'd be more inclined to agree with this video if instead of making it a gender thing, it was about how a good amount of students are struggling with our current curriculum and school policies. I don't disagree with the ideas of adding more non-fiction reading, or valuing action stories written by students, or having more outdoor play time. I just don't like the idea of doing it because it's "better for boys". I think there are a lot of girls who might benefit from these things too and a lot of boys who might have a hard time with them.
I do think that boys and girls are different from each other in general, but I also think that the problem with saying "boys need X" and "girls are good at Y" and "Z is better for girls but worse for boys" is that we are making too many assumptions. Assumptions on what boys like vs what girls like, assumptions on how girls and boys behave, ectect. I think overall that's going in the wrong direction if we want to create the best possible school environment for all children.
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I think the cutbacks in recess have a disproportionate effect on boys' behavior. I can almost always tell when my son has had recess or not in his after school program, based on his behavior when I pick him up.
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I'm the mother of a boy, and I would hate it if schools were a hostile environment for him. That being said, I abhor the idea of ”boys will be boys”-I don't want anyone displaying hostility, aggression, gun play, etc. All genders can transcend that b.s.
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This concerns me, but I don't have any direct experience with it yet.
On the topic of recess, I do agree that it's an issue and it is largely why we chose a preschool focused on nature and non traditional classroom activities for our son. We'll reasses when he's ready for kindergarten, because I do belive that the early years shouldn't be spent at a desk.
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@Mrs. Pen: I agree, although gun play and rough play are more reflective of the home culture, IMO (full disclosure, my toddler girl turns everything into a gun
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I have a position where I see a variety of schools, grades and socio-economic demographics and I would also argue that schools are becoming increasingly hostile the lower socio-economic demographic, across the board, race and gender indiscriminate.
If you don't come into kinder ready to read, sit still for hours, take tests and control most of your impulses then you are referred to Sp.Ed.
F-ing ridiculous. -
@looch: YES!
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@mrbee: totally agree with you on this. I think ALL kids (but yes, especially boys) need a lot of physical activity. I think recess and P.E. should be mandatory, every day.
Even in schools where these things are "mandatory", they will be the first things cut on testing days, for test prep, for special assemblies. I hate that.
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@Anagram: Even the high school kids benefit from PE and movement every day!
Kind of off topic but related: I can't speak to the younger grades, but in terms of just curriculum in high school, there are some teachers in my department who refuse to choose books with female protagonists because the "boys won't like/connect" with them. Instead, girls have to read books with all male protagonists.
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I agree with @mrbee and several others -- the need for physical activity is a real physiological issue for young boys in particular and that is one way we are failing them.
Most teachers in the early grades are females and we may not really GET how real this is. The Raising Cain video gives examples of teachers who DO get it -- some will literally send boys they know need activity out of the classroom to run up and down the stairs or take a walk around the perimeter of the school and it WORKS. Instead of punishing them which is what many of us would assume is appropriate.
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@Mrs. J: yup, I think so too. Unfortunately, at my school P.E. has been cut to only 33% of the time, to add in health class and a "writing fluency" class. They rotate to all three instead of just having P.E.
Again, boo. Kids needs physical activity.
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@Anagram: Great points - thanks for sharing. There has to be a balance for sure. How much of it comes from home life, too? I know some kids are naturally more rambunctious (male or female) but I know my brothers knew if they ever caused a ruckus like the lunch-room scenario you described, they knew it was inappropriate, disrespectful and mom/dad would deal with it. I know I definitely worry with being able to raise my son to be respectful while also allowing him to release his physical energy in a healthy environment. I totally agree with everyone who has mentioned recess being an issue for sure. I mean, even for me - an adult student- I need constant breaks when I'm spending hours on end studying. I feel mentally/physically tired sitting and reading or listening to lectures all day - and physical activity refreshes me. I can only think of how much more younger kids need that too.
@MoonMoon: 100% agree. I hate the line boys will be boys as if it's a free-pass for disrespect and inappropriate behavior.
@mamimami: interesting point about the higher concentration of female teachers for elementary school - and very true.
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I agree with a number of the points in the video, especially the one about physical activity, but I don't think any of them are new. I saw the same types of things going on with my male friends and counterparts when I was in school.
Regarding physical activity, my exercise regime these days is an hour or so of virtually non-stop running/swimming/movement with my 3 year-old. I view it as essential for the rest of the stuff that I want to accomplish with him, like reading books.
I think her point about male taste in books is a little overblown, but I think I see what she's getting at. Side note: I wanted to hurl something at the screen when she pooh-poohed the "Little House" books as girly, because Pa is a major character and a certified badass (and so are Caroline and Laura)! The first few books are essentially survival narratives. That quibble aside, I don't have any problem occasionally catering to my son's interests in books, although I feel like it's also my job to shape his interests as he matures. After all, the male writers we all read in school--Dante, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Wordsworth, Blake, Dickens, Stevenson, Hardy, etc.--likely went through a "stuff that explodes or bleeds profusely" phase, but they all got out of it, right? (Or mostly out of it, in some cases....)
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