Have you seen this story?
http://m.today.com/health/white-mom-sues-sperm-bank-over-black-donor-2D80188932
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Well first of all....no matter the man's color, if you are impregnated with the sperm of someone you DID NOT request, that is totally an problem.
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@blackbird: agreed
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I take issue with the fact that they've made the case about their daughter's race...not about not getting what they paid for.
I feel awful for this little girl that her image is now being "used" by the media in relation to this case.
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I think it's ridiculous that the news clip is called "A black and white issue?". I agree with pps that any person that pays for a sperm donor and doesn't get what they paid for has grounds to sue.
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@blackbird: Agreed!
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there's a lot that goes into picking a donor and if they inseminated her with the wrong sperm, that's a problem! i'm not sure how or when she found out about the mix up, but i would be upset too, not because of the racial mixing but because of the error on the part of the clinic. what if someone was meant to be inseminated with their SO sperm and they used the wrong one?! the clinic should be penalized and forced to review their practices to prevent more mix ups in the future.
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@blackbird: Yeah that.
They made a very big mistake. Using the wrong sperm is a very big deal, regardless of race, and the parents are right to sue.
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@MaryM: Agreed, i don't like how they're spinning the story at all. I can't believe they posted her picture!!
I'd be upset that they didn't use the right sperm donor, period.
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Totally agree with everyone. It sounds like to the woman, the issue has nothing to do with the race of the sperm she got, just the fact she got the WRONG sperm! I hate that the media is turning this into a race issue when that's not the issue at all. The issue is she got the WRONG sperm, period.
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I also think it's odd that they found out about the mix up three years ago (and contacted the sperm bank and received a refund), and only now are they suing and using the race card.
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@MaryM: I agree, but I do have to say that if they picked ABC sperm, and were given BBB sperm belonging to another white man..they most likely wouldn't know a difference, or at least not as obviously. So, the fact that they got CCC sperm from an AA man..it's pretty obvious there was a mix-up so maybe they said that and then it got spun into all of this?
But yeah..3 years? You crazy.
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@Adira: Actually, the mom has made the case about race. They want to use the money to move to a more "diverse" neighborhood because, for example, they find it difficult to care for the girl's hair.
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I saw this on the news this morning. Apparently, the couple wants moving costs because their area is not friendly to people of color or mixed race people. Who's to say their daughter's race is not a concern? There was a huge mistake with the sperm mix up and as a consequence they feel they now need to shield their daughter from their community. This makes me sad on so many levels. If they had a white child they would have raised him/ her in a racially intolerant community and the cycle would continue.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I thought that was kind of interesting, since the parents are lesbians. So their community is gay friendly but only white gay friendly??
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The first article I read had the Mom talking about race, not the reporters. Yes, she got the wrong sperm and the clinic should be held responsible for their mistake. But the Mom is bringing up race, that's why she says they need the money! These are all quotes from the Washington Post article @MaryM: posted. I hope this money does help them move to a more diverse area so that her daughter will grow up with people who are Black and didn't meet their first Black friends or acquaintances in college. I also want to tell her to go buy a clue, there are so many resources online if she wants to learn how to do her daughter's hair.
Cramlett’s attorney, Thomas Intili, told NBC News his client “did not encounter any African-American people until she entered college. Not all her friends and family members are racially sensitive.”
“Getting a young daughter’s hair cut is not particularly stressful for most mothers, but to Jennifer it is not a routine matter, because Payton has hair typical of an African American girl,” it said. “To get a decent cut, Jennifer must travel to a black neighborhood, far from where she lives, where she is obviously different in appearance, and not overtly welcome.”
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As someone who hopes to have children (and whose children will be biracial), I think their daughter's race is definitely a concern and they need to approach the issue delicately...much more delicately than they currently are.
And, I don't think the sperm bank is at fault for where they live and their need to move.
And just as sad as it is that if they had a white child, she would have grown up as intolerant as her community, I fear for what this child will grow up with now that she's the center of this controversy.
Media outlets wouldn't be allowed to show her photo unless given it by the parents (and photos of her have been captioned "Courtesy of the family"). I don't really think they're shielding their daughter by throwing her image across national news outlets.
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@MaryM: Oh, interesting, I didn't realize that. Thanks for the clarification!
I was thinking it was weird that they were just NOW suing when the girl was already 2!
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One of her claims is based on emotional distress. She claims that she fears for her future and her child's and now hasto engage in certain activities such as taking her child to salons that cater to a Black clientele. She also worries about raising her child in an all white community, etc., etc. I hope her daughter does not find out about this lawsuit in the future.
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@mrsjazz: Exactly!
I do hope they can move...not to make the parent's lives easier, but so that the daughter might meet some people who are more open minded
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Wow. This is crazy in so many ways. I just feel so bad for this little girl.
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@blackbird: that's how I took it.
I understand her suing because she didn't get what she paid for.As an AA I am offended by the comments that the mom made about the issues with having a mixed race child. Would she be ok with living in a community that wasn't open to blacks if her child was white? Does it bother her now due to the fact that she has to deal with the racist people?
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I think it's absolutely fine to sue -- the sperm clinic gave her the wrong material for something that she actually inserted into her body -- that's a big problem! I just don't like how they're framing it. I think she has a pretty strong case without all the "my neighbors/family are racist and I don't know how to do black hair." Just rubs me the wrong way...Plus, not gonna lie, I had the same thought as @blackbird: so her neighbors and family are totally fine with two women being together and having children, but mixed race people aren't cool? Ooook...Makes me wonder if she's projecting her own opinions onto the rest of the community when it comes to race. Or at the very least that she shares their opinions. I feel bad for the child. She seems loved and cared for, but it's pretty clear that her parents weren't concerned about the fact that they lived in an all-white and apparently racist community and still wouldn't be if the mix-up hadn't happened. And that's pretty sad to me.
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I am not sure that giving the wrong sperm is actually illegal. For other types of suing, you have to prove damages and be a protected class. This may be the parents way of getting through the legal system.
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@blackbird: from the sounds of it this gay lesbian couple isn't too keen on other minorities and marginalized communities ie black people
Honestly, that's OK and very clear. They didn't get what they paid for. They are upset about it and what the world to know how this black (& white) girl has turned their lives upside down. @MaryM: I agree they shouldn't splash her face all over the news. By the way, she looks just like one of her moms.
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also, her family evidently also isn't ok with same sex relationships.
From http://time.com/3455896/white-mother-black-sperm-lawsuit/
Among the issues that are causing these anxieties are the prospect of sending her mixed race child to an all-white school, traveling to a black neighborhood—where she feels unwelcome—to get Amanda’s hair done and the lack of acceptance by her extended family, who, according to the suit, are already having issues with the whole same sex couple arrangement.
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@mrsjazz: we should get a message to her that JC Penney can style her daughter's hair. No more travels to the hood, just the mall.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I find it strange that she wants to move to one. I wouldn't think a racist person wants to immerse themselves in another culture like that! They would just want to stay in their bubble. I just find it all really curious and odd.
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@blackbird: That's how she has to justify the monetary ask. She's trying to establish some level of "hardship" i.e, having to move, buy certain hair products, etc. to warrant a monetary award.
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@BKCaribBaby: ahhh. THAT makes sense.
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@brownie: I would think the sperm clinic would have couples fill out some type of waiver that protects it from giving out the wrong sperm, so maybe this is their way of getting around that.
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I've seen other articles that this woman for sure made it about race and that is what discussed me! I was disgusted about what I was reading and knowing her child would some day read it, made me sad. It's one thing dealing with a mix up, its another to make it about your racist family, close minded community, ect.
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@MaryM: Hahaha. I loved the last line in the Time article below:
(This might be a good time to direct Ms. Cramblett’s attention to Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care, a website used by many transracial adoptive families. You’re welcome.)
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@mrsjazz: they don't. There is a lot of word of mouth and phones and not much email or paper trails.
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@mrsjazz: OMG! I totally missed that line. HAH!
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@mrsjazz: I was going to mention Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care as well!
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