In the game of "who does Mommy/Daddy love the most", did you win? Tie? Lose?
Also curious if the experience of competing for your parents' love (or not) is impacting how you are raising your little one!
In the game of "who does Mommy/Daddy love the most", did you win? Tie? Lose?
Also curious if the experience of competing for your parents' love (or not) is impacting how you are raising your little one!
honeydew / 7968 posts
growing up, i figured my bro was my parents favorite since they were so hard on me sometimes (probably because i was older) but in reality, i don't think they ever really showed it. i think i'm closer to my parents than my bro but who knows. we never really "competed" for my parents' love and i hope my kids don't feel like they have to with me.
cherry / 171 posts
I would say my youngest sister. She was the surprise baby. My mom was going in for a hysterectomy due to female issues and the pre-op blood work came back that she was pregnant. She is such a trip.
cherry / 201 posts
I am the youngest of 5 and there are 12 years between myself and the oldest. We're pretty well spread out which, over the years, I think made a positive impact on our 'me' time with our parents. I never really felt any of us were treated as a favorite. I should ask one of my siblings in the middle, ha!
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
I am an only child, and an only grand child. I have no idea how parents split up their time and affection for multiple children. I would like to have more than one baby, but I am completely inexperienced in "sharing the love" and am worried about it for my kids, a little.
pear / 1664 posts
Highwire, me too! About everything. Not sure how to share the love; never had to!
cherry / 166 posts
My brothers would probably say me because I was the only girl and the baby. I honestly think we were all the favorite at different times, in different situations.
honeydew / 7917 posts
I am one of five girls (I'm #4), and my dad definitely gives me the special treatment. On the other hand, my mother favors my oldest sister. She could get away with anything.
pear / 1769 posts
My mom always made a huge effort to play equal and my dad just did everything he could for all of us. There are different situations where one child was more favorable, but never favorites. Of my 3 brothers, the middle one always says he is the least favorite...hah. Not true.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I think my parents have bouts of favoritism. There are times when my brother can do no harm. (Like, I don't think I would be alive right now if I did some of the stuff my brother did.) There are times when me or my other sisters can do no harm. *I* personally think I'm their overall favorite. haha Although, I have given them grief and like my other siblings, I can be a big pain in the ass.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I'm the youngest and my mom's favorite/baby. But my parents spread the love equally.
I don't think we ever had to compete for their attention/approval..
kiwi / 500 posts
My middle sister is my mothers favorite. I'm probably my dads fav. But it's weird cause I seem to secretly crave my mothers affection and approval more.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
I don't know who was "loved" the most, but my sister definitely demanded more attention than I did (still does). I was always the dependable one.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I think my brother and I are loved equally for different reasons; and that also changed as we grew up throughout the years.
I was loved because I was the oldest, translating for my parents when I was younger (I even bought my first bike at Toys'R'Us when I was in first grade! :P) and my brother because he was the son (this is huge in asian culture) and the baby.
Now that we are older and more mature, my parents love me for being their friend/confidante/caretaker and my parents love my brother for taking care of himself, but still remaining their 'child.'
olive / 52 posts
Um, honestly... (this is going to sound awful) me. They would NEVER say that, and they probably don't even think it, but in some subtle ways, yeah, I am the "good" one, the smart one, the one without big rebellion problems, the one who isn't still living at home, the one who went to college. I carry a lot of weight in terms of their pride and feelings of "success" as parents and I've felt it ever since I was 20 and my brother started acting out.
I realized this the other day and have been thinking about sibling differences as we work on TTC #2... how things will be different, especially with a boy. Or if we don't have another "easy" baby. I really want my kids to feel like I'm proud of them, no matter what, and that I don't need them to succeed in order to feel like I succeeded. I don't know if I can make that work, though...
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
I have an older brother and he is definitely favoured by my mother. We're all close-knit and he and I are very close but he also shares a special bond with my mom. I'm not a daddy's girl, though. And since having a baby, my mother and I have become closer but still, she totally loves my brother more.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Just the other day my mom was telling me I was the more difficult baby (I cried more) unlike my younger sister.. but that as adults I'm the "easier" one. I'm the one always trying to plan family get togethers (kind of like the glue) and I always try to initiate with my mom for dinners and stuff. My sister is usually "too busy"... plus after becoming a mom I see my mom in a whole new light and am so much more grateful for her sacrifices over the years... so that has strengthened our relationship even more. So I guess I would say I'm her favorite even though I know she loves us both SO much in different ways. She's very supportive and loving to us both. My sister just has a lot more issues than I do...
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
Just stumbled on this old thread, and can't actually say for sure how I'm doing in the parental love-alympics!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@mrbee: hahahah fun bringing back these oldies..
papaya / 10343 posts
I probably am because I actually give a shit what they think and make an effort to stay involved with them. My brother does not make any effort, and does not really care that my parents are often pissed at him. So its not really a contest lol.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
Old thread but I'm still going to answer...actually, I bet you can guess the answer. My brother (we are both mid-20s and only a year apart) still lives at home with my parents paying all his bills, and all his money goes towards cigarettes, alcohol, and gas to drive to his friend's. And I don't even know where he gets that money from since he's been fired from every job he's ever had, stopped attending halfway through the semester every time he insists he wants to go back to college (and it isn't hard for him, he's just lazy - the kind of ace the test but not go to class ever or write the papers,) and he refuses to take any entry-level job because he thinks he's too good for that. He also won't apply anywhere that would not allow him to keep his foot-tall neon green mohawk.
When that's the comparison...it's not hard to be the favorite. I don't even feel bad about it anymore. A few days ago he asked me how I stayed motivated with my job and school and such. When I asked if not living with mom and dad and being broke into his 30s was motivation enough, he said no, not really. Sigh.
ETA: I don't think this has really affected how I parent other than seeing what my parents should have done differently - not enabling him, not making deals (such as, if you're living here and not going to school you have to pay rent, if you flunk this semester of school you have to pay us back) unless you really intend to follow through with them, etc. And they showed no favoritism growing up, we were really parented the same way. Kind of crazy how extremely opposite we are when you consider that. Although the things we do have in common (our sense of humor, politics, religion) still is nothing like the way our parents raised us, funnily enough.
bananas / 9973 posts
Sister. Hands down. I would not ever say who is my favorite publicly, like my dad always does, including in wedding speeches.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
@shopaholic: Oh that sounds just awful One of my friends told me the other day (in front of her kids!) that she just hasn't connected to her daughter the same way she has her son and that he's her favorite. I felt so awkward and terrible for her daughter - who thank goodness is only 8 months old and couldn't understand, but I hope she at least stops verbalizing it as she gets older.
grapefruit / 4997 posts
@shopaholic: Is she the baby that's way? Not cool at all, hugs mama!!
I think some parents find it humorous to put siblings against each other for fun competition but it's definitely not cool! My inlaws have favorites and it is so obvious, it's quite annoying. My DH is not a favorite but he's well liked, so we are right in the middle.
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
@shopaholic: your dad said your sister was his favorite in a public speech??? That's so crazy to me.
I remember reading a group of kids saying that their mom told each if them privately that he/she was her favorite child...and when she passed away they found out she had said that to all of them.
I also remember reading someone saying that you always have a favorite child - it just changes day to day and activity to activity.
Growing up my brother was the favorite but as adults I am clearly the favorite
pomegranate / 3706 posts
I would feel terrible if either one of my sister or I were obvious "favorites." We're different people who have had different needs growing up, and one of us may be closer to a certain parent in certain times in our lives, but I never felt like my parents truly favored or loved one of us more, and I will make sure both of my girls feel equally loved. I heard something once about how nothing causes animosity between siblings more, than parents who treat them differently.
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