Hellobee Boards

They haven't asked yet but my parents always gave us the "we love you equally" response.

My parents did the "you are my favorite" thing to all four of us. We never told each other until we were adults.

I tell my girls "you are each special to me in your own ways... But just as we don't pick a "best" friend because we love all our friends differently, your mama and dada don't pick a favorite child."

@mrbee: In siblings without rivalry, the women who wrote how to talk so your kids will listen, they definitely say that kids don't want to hear that you love them equally. Instead focus on the child himself: I love you in your own way because you are the only you, etc. That satisfies that child's need for your love. If you haven't read it, I would HIGHLY suggest it! SIL got it for me now that I'm expecting LO2 and I devoured it. Need to read the how to talk book too!

@Mamaof2: in our family we work on being inclusive to all of our friends. Best friend makes other friends feel excluded. My older daughter is sort of the ring leader of the girls in her class and she and one other girl were being very exclusive. We wanted to foster more inclusion, so we've had lots of play dates with other friends and focused a lot on "no best friends, lots of good friends". It's led to a lot less drama at school.

@Mamaof2: probably kind of unique to our situation, but there was a lot of trouble at school before we went this route

I only had one sibling, who is a brother. So we always got the "You're my favorite son" and "you're my favorite daughter". So....they basically got out of it.

Since we're about to have DS2, I have no idea what we will say! "You're my fav big/little boy"?!?!

My dad always told me I was his favorite oldest daughter, and my sister was his favorite youngest daughter.

My mom would always say, "I love you differently." Kind of a spin on - I love you both in your own special ways.

But, I mean, I know I am the favorite even if she can't admit it to me