Has the pandemic changed your long-term opinions on anything? Where you live? Where you work? Pantry supply? Guns? Childcare? Etc??
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Nothing like those mentioned because we are SO well situated during this crises (easy to WFH, jobs in essential industries, spacious yard just outside a village so plenty of space to walk/bike/scooter, lots of local growers so no food shortages), but something I have noticed is there are SO many more people outside biking, walking, and visiting parks. I made it a point this fall not to sign my daughter up for many activities so we could enjoy activities like this instead. I hope others appreciate being able to do this as well, and I will continue to not overbook and enjoy the time spent together.
I may see if I can work from home once per week with our new baby. I was 2-3 weeks into a new job where I could WFH more often, and after WFH while trying to educate and entertain my big kids, it seems realistic to be able to do it with a young infant for a few months (through cold and flu season!).
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I'm very glad right now that we live in a rural area, with plenty of space to roam (only 1 case in our county right now). Both of our jobs are 'essential' but not in a way that we are front-line during this. We have a good amount of food stocked on a regular basis and I don't foresee us keeping an emergency stash.
I think long-term I will appreciate everything a bit more! It's such a surreal experience! Hopefully see family more, especially my grandparents whom I can't visit at all (and REALLY hope they all make it through this!).
I will also be so much better at thoroughly washing my hands, and taking off work when I'm sick - I'm bad at this because I hate to use PTO for a cold (no separate sick pay), but there were a few days last month where I should've stayed home. -
I’ve been trying to simplify for the past year now and I feel like I want to do that even more now. So it’s a trend I was already on but one that will likely get even more intense as a result of the quarantine.
I also feel like my son is learning so much more from the very minuscule homeschooling I’m doing with him than he was at school. I’m especially disappointed in the distance learning lessons his teacher has started to give out. I know it’s a challenging task that’s not part of her normal routine, but it has me seriously questing his schooling. I know I’m not cut out for full time homeschooling though so I’m not sure what to do with this knowledge
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Just embrace life and the people that are in with more gusto!!
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I think I've realized I can work from home effectively and may try to do it more often. In the past, when I've "worked from home" I basically assume I won't get anything done and don't try to. I think I could actually get great QT in with the kids and then get a productive day done.
I will totally reform my approach to germs, I think. I have always been pretty lackadaisical, in the "germs are good for you" school of thought. That is...not how I'm going to act going forward.
Also I'm going to stop giving my husband a hard time about stockpiling extra food. I am still going to try to keep it semi-organized though : )
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@JennyPenny: I’m questioning school a lot too. They are only allowed to review right now but even before that there was so little challenge. But currently we don’t really have other options, although her school is implementing a clustering model next year that I hope may help. Overall I feel good about being more involved with both older kids’ learning.
Echoing above I also feel like it’s encouraging me to simplify (and we already limit activities and such). It’s taught me more about how to be all at home, given me a different perspective on it that feels positive.
I don’t know that it’s doable in the current environment to get a new job but it’s really hammered home how much better our family life is if DH isn’t commuting so far. The full family dinners we used to only have on weekends have been good on so many levels. It’s going to be hard to give that up.
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@bhbee: That reminds me that I'm especially loving how cleared up my husband's schedule is. He usually does a team sport two evenings a week and it has been so nice not to plan around those and have him home for dinner and bedtime every night. I very highly doubt he'll change when this is over though. Team sports is a big part of what keeps him happy and sane...
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We will think even more seriously about moving closer to family. It is so hard being on the other side of the country right now. I’m so sad about the prospect of my daughter not seeing her grandparents for a year. It’s sort of making me re-think our priorities.
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Setting up a better WFM situation.
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I think we’re going to change our budgeting. I work in an industry where a significant potion of my income is paid out at the end of each year. I think going forward we’re going to live like I assume I won’t be getting that chunk. That’s likely what’s going to happen this year as opposed to laying people off. It will be a good switch for us not to count on that extra like we do now, and rather budget fully off of our monthly income.
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Definitely considering moving to be closer to family and will prioritize outdoor space next time we move. In the past we prioritized parks and playgrounds nearby but we don’t have much private space.
I work part time remote and this clenched the decision not to pursue full time employment for quite a while.
I am going to have to work hard to build up a more significant emergency fund. We aren’t hurting financially (knock on wood) through this but there are so many ‘what if’s’. If I had 6 months of expenses in the bank I would feel so much less stressed.
There have been a lot of positives through this so I definitely will try not to overschedule my kids. I already made an effort to only sign up for 1-2 activities at a time but even that seems like a lot right now!
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I just separated from my husband days before the stay-at-home order came in our state, and I am so glad I did! So, more confirmation that I was on the right path already than a change for the future after this pandemic. I would really be struggling to be cooped up with him for this lock-down.
I will do less screen time and value in person connection more when this pandemic is over, though that is more a return to normal than a change. Even things like preschool music class is being taught over Zoom, and while I appreciate the effort everyone is making to adapt, it just highlights for me that virtual is not the same as actual!
Otherwise, I feel like this pandemic has been kind of a "pop quiz" on how I've been living and I mostly like the results. I don't schedule a lot for preschooler or myself, and will keep that up. I work for myself, but I work in a communal office that I miss. I will be very glad to get out of the house and get back there.
I have been baking all our own bread and I can see myself keeping up with that, plus Friday is now homemade pizza day which I'd love to keep up. Though it would be fun to mix it up with getting pizza out some weeks when it's safe to do so!
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This all has reinforced for me that I am definitely not cut out for WAH life with a kid in the house lol I am a good parent when I can focus on parenting, and a good professional when I can focus on being that, but trying to be both at the same time is not a sustainable long term strategy for sure. I think we've done well with what we have, but I'm grateful for schools more than ever right now.
The one thing I keep ruminating on is how to preserve the slowed down pace that we're in right now. Before the lockdown, everything always felt really rushed - get up, commute, work, commute, dinner, play/hang out with kiddo, rinse/repeat. We don't have a lot of commitments (any really) beyond work and school and a twice-weekly taekwondo class for kiddo, and beyond grocery shopping and laundry we didn't even have much stuff to do around the house but things have felt really busy especially in the past few months and being at home all the time with nowhere to really go except occasional grocery shopping has really been nice (pandemic anxiety notwithstanding). So I'm wondering how to preserve that somehow.
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I am apparently an outlier, but I thought we were over-scheduled before, but I miss all the activities, and my kids really miss the activities.
I don't plan to change much. We have been spending more time outside, especially in less than perfect weather, which I would like to continue.
I wish we had a bigger yard, but could not find a house with a big yard with our other parameters (price, commute, school). I wish I were closer to my parents, but that is not achievable to maintain our lifestyle, and then we would be far from DH's parents. It is not like I would be seeing my parents anyway, because they are at increased risk.
I might work from home more if reasonable (like once a week, not full time), my kids and husband have been bugging me much less than I anticipated. This might be harder when my baby is old enough to remember I am home.
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I've never felt comfortable living in NYC precisely because I saw this kind of thing as a possibility. I stayed here for reasons which are all irrelevant now, but back when we were looking for a long-term place to live, I didn't push back hard enough when DH claimed that "he also wants to leave the city but the logistics are too overwhelming." I refuse to be trapped here ever again. When this is over, I'm leaving the city (will give it a couple of years to plan properly). If the husband wants to stay put... so be it. He'll be welcome to crash at my new place anytime he wants, but I'm not staying here even for him.
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Honestly, the longer this lasts, the more likely I am to rethink how I work and provide care for DD. I was on the fence about going back after maternity leave and negotiated one day of work from home per week. But I've been thinking more and more about what it would take to pull her from daycare and potentially start working full time remote, whether for my current employer (which has several full time remote employees and has transitioned other roles to remote) or in another position. If I could keep doing what we're doing now forever, I would. It's hard to but so rewarding. But DH doesn't have remote options outside of this time of crisis and isn't going to change his job, and I couldn't do full time WFH on my own without changing my career trajectory. But I feel like I could potentially make it work with a part time nanny. Idk, though, it's a big transition to consider. I do know I want to be closer to what we have now in the future, though.
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I don't think we'll be making any big changes when all this is over.
Definitely still no guns. I don't see either of our jobs changing significantly (unless one of us gets laid off when the recession fully hits). DH's boss noted that he's extremely productive at home, and one of the few that are (that is because DH does 0 of the homeschooling stuff between 8am-6pm, but whatevs) so it would be nice if in the future, he could work from home a little more regularly. Like 2-3 days a week. His job is what keeps us in a more urban area--I don't want to move further away, where he'd barely be seeing the kids on week days. But if he were working from home 2-3 days a week, maybe that would be a possiblity?
These 3 isolated weeks has also had me thinking about a vacation house. So I'd love to say now we're definitely finally going to buy a vacation house---except, again, with a looming recession is doesn't seem super wise to make big financial changes any time soon.
We're already pretty frugal and financially conservative, so that won't change. Pantry stuff...we live in a small place, but we are pretty resourceful, so it hasn't been an issue. We always have more food than we need, and somehow my husband has the grocery delivery luck, so he always finds us a spot. We haven't been into any kind of store (not even for pickup) in.....21 days. It's actually crazy that it's been that long.
I guess in terms of urban living....we have been vaguely house hunting for like, 2 years. But we never find exactly what we are looking for. I have been tempted by bigger places that don't have outdoor spaces, and maybe that's one thing I can now say....I won't ever buy a place without outdoor space. We just have our own stoop/balcony thing, and having our own private entrance and outdoor space, and not having to use an elevator that other people use--has been such a relief. Our town has been getting more and more locked down, and I'm so glad we can exit our building walking on stairs no one else walks on, and we can go to our garage without taking the elevator, etc. That's how paranoid I am about the virus being on surfaces.
Having said all that, I still love living in an urban area! My particular town has really come together, and we have so many supermarket/grocery delivery/food delivery options here, it would be hard to go hungry or want for something.
I guess at this point, we're just going to hold onto our hats and see if our jobs survive into 2021 before declaring any big changes. =) =)
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We made the decision today to homeschool our oldest next year (she will be in kindy). Our district uses a hybrid homeschool model which makes the choice a bit easier. I'm sad but feel relieved that I dont have to think about public school worries anymore.
We are hoping to move over the summer if there are waves to Covid (as opposed to two straight years of infection). We would like to stay in our geographic area but my parameters for a new place are very different now (yard big enough for a garden, school space in the home, large kitchen, nothing too cramped). Basically expecting to go through lockdown again and wanting our new physical space to bettre accommodate that.
DH will be requesting to work remotely at least 3 days a week and full time during high infection periods.
We've...floated the idea of moving across country to be closer to his family. It would be a drastic change in lifestyle and would only work if society breaks down and he goes full remote at work. But I freaked out the other night because if we get sick, there's absolutely no one here who could take our three girls. It's very scary.
TL;DR it's very weird to be living through a pandemic with every modern societal convenience surrounding us. So much is an unknown right now and I think it's very difficult to predict what life will be like "after". I do not think things will be the same at all. I feel like we will pivot back to almost pioneer/frontier times, with all the stocked pantries and bread making and slowing down of life. Pioneer times with Netflix...but still.
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@Becky: I noticed the same about people out and walking. Like who are all these people who apparently live in my neighborhood that I’ve never seen!? And even despite it not being that nice out we’re seeing lots of people. Of course we’re also home all the time to see everyone but it would be nice to see that continue. And like @mdf106: i hope to
Continue being better about getting outside even in not the nicest weather.My job won’t change but I will continue to long for a more flexible work situation as a teacher (which is totally unlikely).
I’m hoping to continue the more extensive FaceTiming with friends who don’t live nearby! That’s been a real lifesaver.
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This is a really interesting thread! I don't know yet but Ill think about it.
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Just wanted to point out that there are a lot of positives in these responses. Just goes to show how we all search for the good in a bad situation. And will learn from this mess and keep some of the new things we’ve instituted.
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I think I will just appreciate our health and going out and doing things and being with people more!
Financially, if my furlough status is confirmed once maternity leave ends, and depending on just how long this goes on for, we might have to make some adjustments. I am already and avid budgeter and have healthy savings, but who wants to have to dig in anything! Hopefully there is part 2, 3, etc to this stimulus package...
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@wrkbrk: yes, I’ve noticed the same. I hope we all (the entire country) come out of this better than we went in.
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I've been thinking more about how to be self-reliant and sustainable. We do it in small ways (e.g., gardening and canning), but maybe on a bigger scale. I'd love property just outside of town so we could have room for DD to play and room for chickens and a large garden.
I've noticed how little time I had with DD during the work week before all this. My hour commute really eats into that. I'm not sure it will ever change, but it's been on my mind.
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Honestly I don't want to change anything. I significantly miss my students and LO1 dearly misses his school too. We miss our friends and all the normal park time and indoor play places that give LO1 the gross motor input he needs to regulate his behavior. We normally get a decent amount of time together bc we are both teachers. I've spent 3-4 years of my life terrorized by health anxiety and I refuse to go back.
The only positive change about this is we're setting up a swing set and the grandparents loaned us their bouncy house. We are also putting turf in the front yard.
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So far, no to the above questions. We have also been well situated for this pandemic and feel extremely grateful. But who knows what the future will bring. There’s still a long road ahead.
I do hope a lot of positives come out of this, but I am more worried about the health and safety of our loved ones for now.
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If I still have a job at the end of this I want to switch to part time hours. I’m loving not having all of us have crazy long days and eating breakfast and dinner without a rush. I’m also going to ask my daughter to pick her favorite activities instead of letting her doing ALL of them. And I’ll make seeing family a bigger priority.
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@Mrs. Carrot: I am with you! I feel like I can be a good mother or a good full-time employee but not both. Its a real struggle since I do better compartmentalizing those parts of my life!
I miss going out to eat, seeing our families, and being with coworkers. The kids don't seem to miss activities (soccer, swimming) but also are def missing family and school.
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We are thankfully very well situated for these circumstances. My husband can easily WFH and I was already on maternity/leave of absence until the fall. We built our dream house last year and have ample space. Building this house to exactly fit our needs turned out to be a brilliant idea.
The major differences has been having my son home full-time at home 3 months before planned & getting to see my husband home for an additional 2 hrs a day. Evenings are usually a mad dash to eat dinner and get the kids to bed but now our afternoons are so leisurely.
Coming out of this we will probably sign up for veggie & meat share from a local farm. We will continue to invest in making our house a home since I foresee us periods of social distancing in the next year. We started a veggie garden and will likely continue/expand it. .
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